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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
alysaurus Offline
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Name: Ali
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Girlfriends with sex toys? - March 29th 2010, 04:04 AM

Ahh,I hate posting in this forum... >//<

I am in a long distance relationship. Right now I am visiting my partner, though I am about to leave tomorrow afternoon. Because we only see each other every few months, we're typically rather physical when we're together, and on the rare occaision that we're actually alone. Neither of us are ready for sex at this point, but we have done things sexual in nature.

When we are apart, we occaisionally do things over the phone... To hear each other. It's more exciting for both of us than masturbating alone to relieve unwanted tension. (boooo-ring...) However, I have never had an orgasm, whether it's when I'm alone, listening to him, or with him (although we haven't been very focused on my body, since both of us are rather intimidated by that...)

I know this is not uncommon. There are plenty of other girls with this problem. It's so very frustrating... I feel it getting better, then I feel it slipping away very quickly with no fulfillment. If I could I would just start again, but my parts become tender and unwanting of touches, like, if I've read correctly, it should be after an orgasm. It doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable to try again, and even if I do try I get even less pleasure from it.

So I've been thinking that maybe I should get a vibrator. I don't want anything special. I want my times with my partner to be the most pleasure I've ever felt, so I don't want it to feel too good if you know what I mean... But I really want it to be better when I'm flying solo. Possibly orgasm, if it turns out that's what my body needs for it to happen, but anything better than what I have would be great.

The problem is I'm afraid of my boyfriend feeling insignificant sexually if I buy one, as if I'm not having fun when we have those special nights. I really am! Honestly, I suggest it more than he does. I just want it to be more pleasurable. Still, I was thinking about it, and I decided I would be a little offended if he got a sex toy without really asking how I felt about it. Perhaps that's because he has had orgasms before, caused by me, and if he were to have the help of an inanimate object all the time I would begin to think maybe that was more fun, since I'm only just beginning to figure out all of this sexy stuff. Maybe it's not right, but I would feel a little hurt.

I've already set my mind up to ask him before I leave tomorrow. I was just wondering if anyone had any input... Like do you think it's right that someone who is in a relationship to use toys? Or to even masturbate? Would it be too weird? Any advice would be great too...

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Heathen Offline
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Re: Girlfriends with sex toys? - March 29th 2010, 07:02 AM

Even while in a relationship, having sex toys and masturbation are still a healthy part of sexual functioning. Both myself and my partners have solo time even while we are in a relationship, either with or without toys. We know enough that its a normal thing and that there is no reason to be jealous if one of us uses an inanimate object in order to further enhance orgasm while the other person isnt around. Hell, sometimes its fun to even use them together.

Talk to your partner and see what he thinks. Ultimately its your decision, and I would say go for it, but if you want his opinion and for him to feel comfortable it couldnt hurt to discuss it. Assure him that you arent "replacing" him and explain your point of view if he expresses objections. Hopefully if he is understanding and caring about your interests, he should see its not a big deal, because it really isnt.

The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
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