TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ladyninetyfour Offline
<3 Utterly Invincible <3
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
ladyninetyfour's Avatar
 
Name: Bex
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Spalding, England

Posts: 427
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: July 17th 2009

Not interested in sex anymore - May 12th 2010, 09:14 PM

Hey
I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me.
I was sexually abused for a few years up until the end of 2008, and then I met this amazing guy. I fell in love with him, we went out, I messed things up, he broke my heart, we tried to be friends, now he hates me =[. After we broke up I went on a rebound with this older guy and we did almost everything but sex itself. We broke up and hes convinced hes in love with me. I went out with a few more guys, only kissed them and broke up with the last one in february this year. Everything between me and my love happened a year ago.
Now I don't want to be with anyone. My love was the last one to kiss me after some confusion a few weeks ago. Now I won't kiss anyone. I still flirt, but I don't really get turned on, I don't masturbate anymore, I'm not interested in sex... At all. The only way I want sex is if my love marries me and I lose my virginity on our wedding night, fat chance.
I don't feel like I'm holding out for him or anything. I just genuinely am not interested in sex now, or relationships or anything....
Is there something wrong with me?? All teenagers want sex right? I'm sixteen in 4 months. Why don't I want sex?
Is there someting wrong with me???!!
Please help, I don't understand and I'm so lonely.


Where there's love, there's hope
You cannot destroy me!
xoxox PunkRoxS9 xoxox


Last SH: 03/08/09
  Send a message via MSN to ladyninetyfour  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DanielR Offline
Survived the Apocalypse of '57
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
DanielR's Avatar
 
Name: Daniel
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Australia

Posts: 332
Join Date: February 12th 2010

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 12th 2010, 09:17 PM

You're only young... your views will change as you get older...


I don't like to whizz in people's pockets, so I will always give you truth. I'm opinionated, so take what I say with a cup of salt.

  Send a message via MSN to DanielR  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Banned
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
No Guts, No Glory.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 36
Join Date: May 11th 2010

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 12th 2010, 09:23 PM

Sure most teenagers want sex, but if you've been sexually abused it's going to have a toll on your outlook for one. Secondly you seem like you've been bouncing around from relationship to relationship or just to random guy to guy. So... I don't think you've had time to ever recover or even settle some of the emotions running wild in your head.

I think you need to take some time away from the dating and generally just boys in general for a while and just get yourself back on track and possibly seek professional help.

As for your sex drive, well I think it's all related so I beleive if you look after yourself and get yourself on the road to recovery and with time I beleive you will get your sex drive back. But you're just damaged at the moment and need to concentrate on fixing yourself.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
MermaidMassacre Offline
Finding beauty in darkness.
I've been here a while
********
 
MermaidMassacre's Avatar
 
Name: Bridget
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Land of all them lakes...

Posts: 1,362
Join Date: July 10th 2009

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 12th 2010, 10:59 PM

Not all teenagers want sex. =P
I think its just a phase.
Also it shows maturity you realised you don't like going back and forth with all these guys now it's more a down time/me time.
Which is good.
Trust me nothing is wrong.
You will bounce back eventually and when you're ready. =)


I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.
  Send a message via AIM to MermaidMassacre Send a message via MSN to MermaidMassacre Send a message via Yahoo to MermaidMassacre Send a message via Skype™ to MermaidMassacre 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
ShimmeringFaerie's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 1,990
Join Date: March 22nd 2010

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 13th 2010, 07:50 AM

There isn't anything wrong with you. The idea that all teenagers want sex is wrong. I mean, technically it is based in logic - hormones going crazy and everything. But to some of us, sex means more than that. I wasn't interested in sex until I was 18, had been dating my boyfriend for about a year, and was completely in love. My friends thought I was so weird, but so what? Not wanting sex is not a fatal flaw or anything like that. It isn't hurting you or anyone else, so why would you feel like it is something wrong?



PM me!

Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
ladyninetyfour Offline
<3 Utterly Invincible <3
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
ladyninetyfour's Avatar
 
Name: Bex
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Spalding, England

Posts: 427
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: July 17th 2009

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 13th 2010, 07:36 PM

I used to be interested in sex. I used to want it even after I was abused. I always wanted to wait til i was married, but I still wanted to do all the foreplay type things until the last few months... I just feel like I'm wrong somehow now.


Where there's love, there's hope
You cannot destroy me!
xoxox PunkRoxS9 xoxox


Last SH: 03/08/09
  Send a message via MSN to ladyninetyfour  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Who Dares Wins Offline
Banned
Not a n00b
**
 
Who Dares Wins's Avatar
 
Age: 33

Posts: 77
Join Date: May 13th 2010

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 13th 2010, 07:41 PM

Well sometimes to cope, we do the same thing. So if you got abused you could of been wanting to do these things to cope with the pain.

So maybe something changed in you and you're now expressing your true feelings as such. But this all speculation as I am no professional and there are quite a few "if"'s.

So personally I think you should get yourself to the Doctors, you're in England so NHS is free. It's also confidential, however as you are a minor they certainly would want to know about the abuse you faced. However this is a small price to pay for the help you will get. It could lead to therapy and help you get over any of the traumatic events you had happen to you.

Either way I do think you should seek out professional help, because this could be the start of something bad. Sorry if I sound downbeat, just I beleive you need to be realistic.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
ladyninetyfour Offline
<3 Utterly Invincible <3
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
ladyninetyfour's Avatar
 
Name: Bex
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Spalding, England

Posts: 427
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: July 17th 2009

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 13th 2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Who Dares Wins View Post
Well sometimes to cope, we do the same thing. So if you got abused you could of been wanting to do these things to cope with the pain.

So maybe something changed in you and you're now expressing your true feelings as such. But this all speculation as I am no professional and there are quite a few "if"'s.

So personally I think you should get yourself to the Doctors, you're in England so NHS is free. It's also confidential, however as you are a minor they certainly would want to know about the abuse you faced. However this is a small price to pay for the help you will get. It could lead to therapy and help you get over any of the traumatic events you had happen to you.

Either way I do think you should seek out professional help, because this could be the start of something bad. Sorry if I sound downbeat, just I beleive you need to be realistic.
Thanks. I already have a psychologist, but I've only opened up to her about twice. I've not had her long, I've been passed from person to person at CAMHS for a year. Do you think this is something I should talk to her about? I'd feel a bit awkward, but do you think it would help me?


Where there's love, there's hope
You cannot destroy me!
xoxox PunkRoxS9 xoxox


Last SH: 03/08/09
  Send a message via MSN to ladyninetyfour  
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Who Dares Wins Offline
Banned
Not a n00b
**
 
Who Dares Wins's Avatar
 
Age: 33

Posts: 77
Join Date: May 13th 2010

Re: Not interested in sex anymore - May 13th 2010, 09:37 PM

Well the mental side of health care is a very strange one. Because we do not fully understand it.

Also in therapy you have to realise that the person you are speaking to is human. They do project their own ideas and feelings on a subconcious level. Depending on the level of their degree/PhD/PsyD etc they will have gone through different stages of testing. Seeing if they are mentally fit to offer advice.

However instead of seeing as a physcologist, a Psychiatrist would be far better. If you can arrange to see one of them as they can offer cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy and a few other treatments.

For example, using CBT, you would relearn connections to sex and avoid the bad memories which are potentially stopping you from feeling arrousal.
And there have been recent studies.
Quote:
"Decke, S.E. and Naugle, A.E.(2008). DBT for Sexual Abuse Survivors: Current Status and Future Directions. Journal of behavior Analysis of Offender and Victim: Treatment and Prevention"
Which confirms that Dialectical behavioral therapy has had good feedback in sexually abused patients. It's a form of CBT.

Again I am not a qualified professional and my advice is purley on speculation.
However I would suggest you speak to the professional's about this and maybe ask them about some of the things I've suggested.

Either way I hope you get on with your life and are able to move on from this and eventually be able to feel those feelings. But yes please do talk to them about it, and discuss it. They are not there to judge, they are there to help so use them and abuse our free health care atleast while we have it :P

Last edited by Who Dares Wins; May 13th 2010 at 09:54 PM.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
anymore, interested, sex

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.