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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
thebeardedlady Offline
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Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 12:12 AM

So I gave my boyfriend oral for the first time... and honestly it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. I expected it to be tasting foul and to be in discomfort and to feel like a fool... but it wasn't any of that at all! (Albeit rather difficult to coordinate).

But one thing has been buggin' me.. I resent the head motion thing that goes with it. Friggin' bobbing around like some chicken. BAKAWK. Oh yeah, just pretend yer mouth's a vagina. *disgust* >,> That part of it I find humiliating and it's quite difficult to be in the least bit dignified whilst doing so. Mah MOUTH ain't no vagina, it's a mouth. Let's keep it that way.
Am I wrong or strange for feeling this way?
I dunno. Yeah, I'm definitely going to tell him how I feel (huzzah for communication) but I just wanted to know what you guys think. Get some other opinions. Get some perspectives. Helps me sort out my own.

Thanks in advance.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 01:01 AM

You're right.
Your mouth isn't a vagina, so don't let either him or yourself treat it as such.

Don't let him overdo it, oral is an extremely personal thing to do in my opinion... so let it be you that is the one in control, not the other way around.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 01:04 AM

Myself, I find oral sex a bit degrading to the one giving it, but as it is an act of passion and love for the other person, it is absolutely correct do say that the one giving it should also be the one to dictate how it goes. Otherwise, you shouldn't have to give it at all.


   
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Cool Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 01:05 AM

Personally i find that i give much better oral sex if im into it.. haha call me strange.. but i think its kind of an exciting thing to do.. to see yourself pleasuring someone anyway.. anywhoo.. your mouth is definately not a vagina.. its a mouth.. but you can do alot more things with your mouth.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 01:12 AM

Ya, I agree with Shaun

I think that it is a very personal thing to do, and for you to be comfortable is the best way to move forward on that, don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Also i think it is good that you are going to talk to him, hopefully that will help things and make you feel more comfortable while doing it.

I agree that there is no way you can look dignified while doing it, it all looks degrading to whoever is giving it. All I can say is make it so your in control and feel comfortable.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 03:17 AM

Thanks so much for the input.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 04:36 AM

If you don't wanna do it, try some alternatives? like handjob, or blowjob but don't just go up and down lol, change it up, lick it etc...

But don't feel pressured into giving him something that you don't wanna do.


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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 04:41 AM

Oral sex is like a gift. You don't have to give it. Which means, it's your terms. If you don't like something he does during oral sex, you don't have to give it to him. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

But if this was your first time with him, talking is the way to go! Hopefully you can get all that cleared up so it's enjoyable for you both


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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 02:31 PM

sorry but ...

"Mah mouth ain't no vagina!"

That made me laugh




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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 02:37 PM

I think that if you don't like giving it then you shouldn't do it, however if you don't like doing it just on the principle that it's undignified then maybe you should get over it? Either that or don't expect him to perform oral on you (and you'd be missing out) as it's not exactly dignified for him either. Imagine trying to eat the filling out of a sandwhich with just your tongue.

That being said, sex isn't about dignity. It's a very undignified act if you think about it, all that bumping, groping and grinding together, it's more about giving and recieving pleasure and enjoying yourself. So don't get too hung up on the aesthetics. Maybe try not to think of pretending your mouth is a vagina? I've never thought of it that way during oral as it's pretty different.

Last edited by Jack; March 3rd 2009 at 02:44 PM.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 02:50 PM

Thinking about it. It makes me laugh too that our heads bob up and down. But thats a thing you have to live with if you give oral, there is no way around it You should feel wrong or strang about it if you arent ready to carry on then you dont have to. Yes talk to him and tell him how you feel. Talking is the best thing in a relationship


   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 05:47 PM

It was your first time, so of course it would feel weird and seem stupid, but you get used to it. Its a new experience, and soon it won't bother you, you know it gives them pleasure and hopefully you get something nice in return

Do talk to your boyfriend about it though, tell him how you feel about it and see what you can do next time that might feel more comfortable for you.

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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 11:36 PM

Yeah, the act itself I have no problem with. I love him very much and am perfectly comfortable with him. It's not that I don't want to-- quite the contrary. I'm more than happy to. I didn't find it to be unpleasant at all, and I certainly didn't feel stupid.
It's just that one gesture that bugs me. And in no way am I tryin' to be all dignified and whatnot; I suppose a better way to say it would be that I find it degrading. And he tried to 'guide' me a bit to go all chicken, but I refused. Like you guys said-- don't do anything ya' don't wanna do.
To me to go chicken is to pretend yer mouths a vagina, and that's just disgusting and insulting. I don't know. I'm weird I guess.
Maybe one day it'll simply not bother me, but at the moment it certainly does....

Anyway. Thanks for the input.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 3rd 2009, 11:46 PM

Well your right
mouth isnt vagina
and
depending on the position it is hard to coordinate as ive noticed
just dnt worry about it
its easy to have hard feelings about it


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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 4th 2009, 12:56 AM

Many people have an "as long as you return the favor" outlook on it.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 4th 2009, 01:33 AM

Not me. I don't care if he does or not. In fact, I think oral sex on a female far worse than any sort of chicken dance- but that's just me and my own opinions. But he certainly does express interest in 'returning the favor' though I'd never ask him to.
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 5th 2009, 05:31 PM

as long as youre comfortable doing it, then it shouldnt matter all that much what the action is actually like. but you're really in control, so mix up your movements!! you should enjoy it just as much as he does
   
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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 5th 2009, 06:22 PM

I agree with everyone above, in that you should control it. If he tries to guide you towards stuff you don't feel like doing, try new things instead (new movements with your hand, switching from oral to handjob to oral, whatever you can think of) and see what else he likes. He might like something else (meaning besides *chicken better, if you two are open to try. Just let him know that if you're doing this for him, he damn well better be grateful enough to realize who's in control. best of luck!


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Re: Oral sex for the first time - March 6th 2009, 07:52 AM

Just a tip: With oral, you don't have to use just your mouth. Incorporate your hands as well. I'm not going into detail, but using your hands as well as your mouth can help reduce the bobbing sensation you get and increase the sensations for your partner.

As far as if you're alone in feeling like you do about the head motion? No, you're not. I have often felt rather ridiculous, and though I've been sexually active nearly four years with the same guy, I have yet to understand why they're so attracted to the sight of the head motion itself. Weirdos.

BUT - don't be afraid to let your partner know how you feel about that. Explain to them you're going to try a few different things and techniques to keep you from feeling that way and possibly make the experience even better for the both of you. Good luck!


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