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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 04:56 PM

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I feel really bad right now because this seems to keep happening. If I glance in a girl's direction and I notice their body, I feel like utter trash because that's what I notice. I just have a few questions about this.

1. Does every guy have this problem?
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?

I know that everyone on this site is very understanding. I just want to say that I, in no way, disrespect women. If I see a girl that has a good body, I notice it, but if I do like a girl for her outward appearance, it's usually her eyes and her smile.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
1. Does every guy have this problem?
Yes. And so do women. Lesbian women check out other women's bodies, gay men check out other men's bodies, straight women check out men's bodies, and straight men check out women's bodies. We tend to find things more physically attractive than other things, and it's all because of our biological desire to procreate. Women can be just as guilty as men; the only difference is that women have more social pressure to hide themselves from checking other men out because it would make them look vulnerable while men looking at women's bodies are...men. Don't feel like you're the only one. Everyone does it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
There are three types of women in the world:

1. Those who enjoy guys looking at them.
2. Those who don't really care or only care when the other person is physically attractive and they WANT that person to look at them.
3. They dislike it.

No woman is going to hate it, but a woman may dislike it...provided that the male is extremely obvious. Some women are flattered by it, but it can be quite uncomfortable for women. If you keep it under control, they'll have no reason to confront you about it because...what are they going to do...sue you for looking at them in public? Eyes wander...humans are naturally curious creatures...so women can't do shit about men looking, but you have to be respectful about it or they can try and charge you with something (if they wanted to take it that far).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?
Nope. Nor should you stop it, if you could. Women are beautiful...if we didn't care about how good a woman looks physically, then imagine what would happen to the obesity rate in women.
   
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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 06:43 PM

A girl's perspective, woo. Although note I am only one person, different women may have different opinions This is just my view...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
1. Does every guy have this problem?
Well, obviously I can't answer this one, but from a girl point of view, we do the same. I often notice when a guy is attractive. I wouldn't go after someone purely because they're attractive, just as I wouldn't NOT go after someone just because they're not attractive. At the end of the day, personality matter more to me. Good looks are only skin-deep, and while they may draw me in, I know that I'm just feeling a physical attraction for their body, and it doesn't mean anything more than that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
Yeah we understand Or I do, at least. Like I said, we behave in similar ways, so it would be hypocritical I think of me to find it bad of guys to find women attractive when I find men attractive based purely on looks. If it gets overtly sexual though, like touching or inappropriate comments, then THAT is what makes me think of them as 'scum.' But you're only human, you're going to be attracted to other people. Just make sure you draw the line between admiring from a distance, and acting on these feelings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?
Not really, I don't think. But there's nothing wrong with being attracted to women! It's totally natural, and, like I said, as long as it doesn't get inappropriate, it can be kinda flattering
   
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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 07:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
1. Does every guy have this problem?
Yes, but guys don't only have this problem. My boyfriend recently read a book about body language, and this was one of the sections in the book. Girls can get away with it far better than guys can, but both men and women look at the bodies of others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
Most girls understands, most girls even LIKE it. But, of course, we can't keep someone from judging you on something. We are just judgmental creatures, and it's something we cannot help. Some will make a big deal out of it, while others will just look the other way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?
There is really no way of stopping. You just have to train yourself to look at someone's face, instead of their body. There is nothing wrong with noticing a women for their body, but a lot of us prefer to be looked at in the eye.











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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 07:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercyfall View Post
1. Does every guy have this problem?
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?
1.) Most guys are like that. My boyfriend even told me recently that the first time he saw me, his first thought was "Whoah...big boobs." His next thought was she seems like a nice person, but that doesn't change the fact that he noticed my body first. A lot of girls are the same way.

2.) I don't particularly mind it, as long as a guy isn't just standing there looking at my boobs or my butt, etc. And I definitely wouldn't want a boyfriend who only liked me for my body!

3.) Probably not. It's just human nature. I think everyone does it at some point.


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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 07:44 PM

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone for the body, or simply acknowledging that they are attractive. I notice attractive guys all the time, but it doesn't mean that I would date them simply for their looks. It just means that I think they're cute. If you're going out dating someone to get in their pants or just because they're hot, then that's not going to be rewarding relationship for either of you. But simply realizing that someone is good looking is totally normal.





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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 08:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelophobia View Post

Yes, but guys don't only have this problem. My boyfriend recently read a book about body language, and this was one of the sections in the book. Girls can get away with it far better than guys can, but both men and women look at the bodies of others.


Most girls understands, most girls even LIKE it. But, of course, we can't keep someone from judging you on something. We are just judgmental creatures, and it's something we cannot help. Some will make a big deal out of it, while others will just look the other way.


There is really no way of stopping. You just have to train yourself to look at someone's face, instead of their body. There is nothing wrong with noticing a women for their body, but a lot of us prefer to be looked at in the eye.
I mean, when I look their way, I just notice them. When I talk to girls I can look them in the eyes, no problem.

Thank you all for the responses. I feel a lot better about it now. Now that I know that it's pretty normal, I'll try to act normal, if I notice. Usually I freak out if I feel like I've been caught glancing. I'll never do it, intentionally.
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koharuchan View Post
1.) Most guys are like that. My boyfriend even told me recently that the first time he saw me, his first thought was "Whoah...big boobs." His next thought was she seems like a nice person, but that doesn't change the fact that he noticed my body first. A lot of girls are the same way.

2.) I don't particularly mind it, as long as a guy isn't just standing there looking at my boobs or my butt, etc. And I definitely wouldn't want a boyfriend who only liked me for my body!

3.) Probably not. It's just human nature. I think everyone does it at some point.
Lol. The girl that I'm crushing on right now works behind a counter, so I saw her face first. When I ask her out and if she says yes, I don't have to say that I noticed her body, first, Haha. I guess her eyes don't count as her body.
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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 08:55 PM

Quote:
1. Does every guy have this problem?
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?
1) I think the answer says yes, a lot of guys, depending on their sexuality, has this problem.

2) Maybe if your just looking at their breasts and asses really really intensly, than maybe.

3) I don't think so, it's really human nature, because it's like that...


And, Your not the only one who has done that. I like a girl too, and I like her for her, but I've recently seen her in a bathing suit, and it wasn't even that bad one one, and I had to control myself too.


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Re: Noticing... - March 8th 2012, 09:38 PM

I think you're being very harsh on yourself. Yes, we're going to look at people's bodies. I do this too, to both genders, and then I compliment somebody on their body, then they think I'm a sex freak and really weird... But I just appreciate the human physique. It's also okay to feel attractions towards people, being like "Woah, that girl is hot." Isn't that where a lot of relationships start? If we didn't look at people, and notice their bodies... we wouldn't really date or have sex and potentially have babies. It's natural. I don't like it when a person just completely stares at my boobs or makes crude comments about my body, but glances at my body and politely flirts with me? That's fine. We're human, we're sexual beings.


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Re: Noticing... - March 9th 2012, 08:46 PM

1. Does every guy have this problem?
I'm not a guy, but I am a lesbian, and I do look at other people's bodies quite frequently. It's usually not even in a sexual way, I just generally appreciate the way women are shaped. I'm also pretty artistic, and since I mostly draw women, I like to look at the similarities and difference between the shapes of different people. But maybe that's just me.
2. Do girls understand that guys are like this and don't judge them as scum for noticing?
I had a friend who could not keep eye contact with me whenever he was talking to me. Whenever I would tell him to stop staring at my boobs, he'd get all flustered, but I didn't really care. As long as whoever's looking isn't being rude or saying anything sexual about it, then I feel like I shouldn't mind.
3. Are there any ways to stop this from happening?
It's perfectly normal, and not something you have to worry about stopping. Just try not to let your eyes linger TOO long, which can make anyone start to feel self-conscious, and I think you should be fine. It's a natural instinct to reproduce and continue our species, so don't beat yourself up over it!


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Re: Noticing... - March 9th 2012, 10:02 PM

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if we didn't care about how good a woman looks physically, then imagine what would happen to the obesity rate in women.


This made my morning.
   
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Re: Noticing... - March 11th 2012, 12:02 AM

I personally don't get really bothered when a guy check me out because... Well, I kind of get flattered. I think it's natural.
But then, when they whistle or say something about it: "Dude, check out that chick." then I have a problem.
Taking a look doesn't take a piece, my best friend says.

Last edited by Lyra Saggita; March 11th 2012 at 12:03 AM. Reason: typo
   
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Re: Noticing... - March 11th 2012, 12:43 AM

A majority of people in general have this "problem" but it's only natural. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's nothing that you should want to change. It isn't anything you can help. Like mentioned before, some girls find it flattering while others may find it offensive. I am a girl and I don't mind a guy looking at me like that, because I take it as a compliment. I actually look at guys and girls like that. Like said before, it's only natural. Don't feel like scum, because it's perfectly normal to notice a pretty girl.


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Re: Noticing... - March 14th 2012, 03:33 PM

Hey, don't want to worry you here but I would say it's all good unless you're standing there going "DAYUUUM GIIIRL!" and totally like... I don't know... objectifying them?

The occasional glance and admiration is definitely okay. You may find a girl checking you out at the same time you are checking her out, and voila! A conversation can be started because you can tell she's into you.

Anyways, good to see your mind is more at ease. It's natural to check hot women out.


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