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Miscarriage. - July 8th 2015, 01:32 AM

I just found out that I'm having a miscarriage. I started to spot yesterday and then it turned into full on bleeding. I went to the ER in my hometown and they refused to do an ultrasound. They immediately started to prepare me for a miscarriage even before they examined me. Then they tried to claim that I was too early to be able to see or hear anything... I would have been 12 weeks tomorrow...

I went to my own doctor today and she did an ultrasound and the baby wasn't there. She suspects it's been gone for a month or so now. I was getting excited finally and we were playing music for it. We were playing music for an empty sac. We were holding and rubbing an empty sac. I was making dreams of this family but there was nothing there.

We just buried my great grandma yesterday, I'm going to lose my grandpa, and I lost my baby. I'm already tired of hearing people say sorry and I don't want to talk with anyone. I have my options on how to pass the sac but I have no idea what I should chose. I just want to quit my job and move somewhere.

What do I do? I feel, well I don't know what I feel. I'm lost and hurt. Horrible people have their babies no issues but I was built up to be torn down. I'm hurt.
   
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Re: Miscarriage. - July 8th 2015, 12:00 PM

There is a high risk of miscarriage during the first few months of pregnancy. A lot of women wait till 14 weeks before announcing it. Unfortunately, at 12 weeks there is very next to nothing they can do. In ER, we don't usually send women with threatened miscarriages down to OB till they are 20 weeks.


Most first trimester miscarriages are due to genetic errors. The cells divide very fast and often and there is a lot of room for error. Even 2nd semester miscarriages have a high number of genetic errors. I think the last time I looked it up was 1 in 5.


One thing you may want to consider is talking to other female members of your family to find out if others have suffered miscarriages. A lot of women will keep it quiet. Sometimes there are support groups too. I would keep in mind that you may still suffer depression over this and consider talking to your OB or a therapist.
   
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Re: Miscarriage. - July 8th 2015, 06:38 PM

Hey,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I've had two miscarriages at around 6-8 weeks, so I understand how you're feeling. I know that doctors don't do much for miscarriages before a certain amount of weeks. They usually won't do an ultrasound unless it's necessary. You'd think this is something that is medically necessary, but sometimes they can be funny about it.

It's really hard to experience a miscarriage, but it means something was wrong with the baby or you. It sucks to hear, but it wasn't time for you to become a physical parent. However, you'll always be a mommy to a beautiful angel baby. I mean, that's what helped me get through my miscarriages, believing in something else. I don't believe in praying or anything, but I do believe in spirits and stuff. I don't know. It's something to think about. Right?

You are experiencing a lot of loss, and I hope that you're coping with it alright. Try to make a journal about what you're feeling. Maybe write letters to your great grandma, your grandpa, and maybe even your baby. It helped me so much to write during the time I miscarried. I'm in a much better place with it now, so I am living proof that it DOES get better. I know you're hurt, and it's a horrible experience, but your time will come. You're strong and you can get through this.

Please reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. I'm always around and I'd love to help in any way that I can, or if you just need an understanding ear.

Take care.


There is no beauty without some strangeness.
-EAP-

   
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Re: Miscarriage. - July 8th 2015, 07:13 PM

I had another ultrasound today and it looks like my uterus is still closed. I'm starting to have pretty bad cramps and I'm bleeding quite a bit. I've been taking off work but I'm not sure how long they will let me have off. I'm starting to get nervous that I'll have to have a D&C. I have insurance but it doesn't cover everything and I'm scared about the cost involved with everything.

My brother and his girlfriend had a baby and they abused it so it was taken away. I wouldn't have abused my baby, it would have been loved by both parents. I can't have my baby but pieces of crap like that had zero complications. He wasn't even supposed to be able to have a child. I hate them more than ever right now.

I'm considering quitting my job when I return to work. I need to get out of this town and it needs to be now. I need a fresh start. My husband and I both do.
   
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Re: Miscarriage. - July 9th 2015, 01:58 AM

Sorry to hear that your uterus is still closed. Hopefully it will pass with no other additional problems. <3

I understand how frustrating it is to see "bad" people become parents, and you (a good person) just lost your baby. I think it's important that you get this anger out somehow. Do some exercising or writing, I find these two things help me dramatically when I'm feeling angry or bitter.

Honestly, you're allowed to have time off of work, but it's not logical for you two to run away. It's hard, I know, but you have to think about everything before you decide to leave or not. Is is possible for you to leave the state and start over somewhere else? Don't do it because of the miscarriage, do it because it's what's best for you and your husband.


There is no beauty without some strangeness.
-EAP-

   
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Re: Miscarriage. - July 11th 2015, 05:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by .Britt. View Post
Sorry to hear that your uterus is still closed. Hopefully it will pass with no other additional problems. <3

I understand how frustrating it is to see "bad" people become parents, and you (a good person) just lost your baby. I think it's important that you get this anger out somehow. Do some exercising or writing, I find these two things help me dramatically when I'm feeling angry or bitter.

Honestly, you're allowed to have time off of work, but it's not logical for you two to run away. It's hard, I know, but you have to think about everything before you decide to leave or not. Is is possible for you to leave the state and start over somewhere else? Don't do it because of the miscarriage, do it because it's what's best for you and your husband.

I finally passed everything on Thursday. My work gave me the whole week off but come to find out there was a mass email sent around a branch I don't even work at about me. I've been wanting to leave for a while and this might be the push that makes me. The miscarriage was so painful both physically and emotionally. They had no right.
   
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Re: Miscarriage. - July 11th 2015, 06:42 PM

I'm glad to hear you've passed everything, that's a good thing. I'm so sorry that a mass email was sent out about you. That is not fair to you. And it's highly unprofessional of them!

As for moving, just think about it before you make any rushed decisions. Make a plan, and if you and your husband feel that it is feasible, then do it. You deserve the opportunity to move and start over. But, remember it is probably not feasible to move every time something bad happens, so make a plan and stick with it. You will be okay. It'll get better.

I'm around if you want to talk via PM about this.


There is no beauty without some strangeness.
-EAP-

   
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