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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Oneirophobia♥ Offline
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Miscarriage/Birth - January 19th 2017, 01:05 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This past week, I have gone through something no women or family should ever go through.
I delivered a beautiful baby boy, at 31 weeks pregnant, my beautiful boy was stillborn.
I had to go through childbIirth, contractions, pain and no epidural.
I felt terrible, I choose to hold him, and tell him I loved him, even took some pictures with him.

Its been the roughest week of my life.
It is obvious there was something wrong, I went into the hospital due to lack of movement, and found out there was no heartbeat, it was hurtful, and I did not know how to deal with it, I still don't.

Has anyone gone through this? that can offer some advice?


I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly then all at once <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 19th 2017, 04:09 PM

I haven't gone through this. But I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine even imagine what you are going through, so I am not going to try. But I do think you need to talk to someone. Either a support group or a counselor. This loss is very profound and you will need support during this time.

Will they be preforming an autopsy? Perhaps knowing what happened could provide some closure.

I am so glad you got to spend some time with him at the birth and to take some pictures. That is a moment with him you will have forever.

I am sending love and light your way. Please let me know if there is anything you need. Feel free to PM me anytime.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 19th 2017, 06:58 PM

Hi there,

First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't gone through a stillbirth before, but I do work in a hospital on the Labour and Delivery unit, so I have seen moms go through it.

Nothing anyone can say will really help you, you need to take time to grieve. You didn't do anything wrong, the babies body might not have been developing properly. Stillbirths are a lot more common then people think. Most of the time my work have 1-2 stillbirths every 1-2 weeks.

You're not alone, we are all here for you. You should also check to see if there are any miscarriage/stillbirth support groups that you could try and go to?

I really hope you start feeling better soon. Take the time that you need to grieve for your loss. Also, make sure that you take care of yourself and make sure that you are okay.

Stay Strong, PM me if you need anything,
Brittany



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 20th 2017, 08:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneirophobia♥ View Post
This past week, I have gone through something no women or family should ever go through.
I delivered a beautiful baby boy, at 31 weeks pregnant, my beautiful boy was stillborn.
I had to go through childbIirth, contractions, pain and no epidural.
I felt terrible, I choose to hold him, and tell him I loved him, even took some pictures with him.

Its been the roughest week of my life.
It is obvious there was something wrong, I went into the hospital due to lack of movement, and found out there was no heartbeat, it was hurtful, and I did not know how to deal with it, I still don't.

Has anyone gone through this? that can offer some advice?
I am so sorry for your loss . I havnt gone through having a stillborn but I have had a miscarriage and was aware when I passed it. There is no greater pain but you will get your rainbow ... too beautiful for earth just like my baby's x I love them so much and we never got to meet but even though it's hard you've got to think heaven wanted them because there could have been something wrong . You will have a rainbow baby and I believe it's the baby you've lost coming back down to earth x I am so sorry
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 20th 2017, 09:44 PM

Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear this. No, I haven't gone through what you have and I can't imagine that pain. But we are here for you, for anything you might need. <3 Lots of love and prayers being sent to you. I'm glad that you got pictures with him and he'll always be in your heart.

I am so sorry. I'll be praying for you.
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 21st 2017, 09:05 PM

Christine, I am so sorry for your loss. It's never, ever easy losing a child and especially not one still developing in your uterus. Remember this, there is no time limit to grieve. Reach out to your friends and family during this difficult time, they will be more than happy to lend you support and a shoulder to cry on. We are here as well, so don't be afraid to use the resources available on TeenHelp; such as LiveHelp and the HelpLink system.

   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 27th 2017, 02:43 PM

Thank you all for your find words. I haven't really grieved yet, or so people tell me, it hurts a lot, but i have yet to feel different emotions other than being sad or numb.


I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly then all at once <3
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 29th 2017, 07:10 AM

I have a relative who went through the same thing: doctors said there was no heartbeat, and they had to surgically remove the baby [Edited].

Also there are a lot of hormonal changes going on after any birth. Some women may develop postpartum depression for a while.

I'm familiar with small things affecting my brain and my whole view of my world changes. I'll be fine, then a day later my whole perspective changes and the world is a very sad place and my life is awful. Then I'll pull out of that in a few days (or sometimes weeks) and the world goes back to being fine again.

This has happened to me so often I don't know what the "correct" perception of the world is, because they are both very real. I'd like to think that the "everything's fine" view is the correct view, since I obviously prefer that view, and the "everything's horrible" is a passing delusional view; but honestly for all I know it may actually be the other way around.

I know I heal best when I can express my hurt and be heard. The people who politely listen and help by just being there are the ones who heal.

I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting us know.

Last edited by PaganMama; January 29th 2017 at 08:48 PM. Reason: User PMd about sensitivity.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - January 30th 2017, 12:47 AM

Thank you guys, it all helps a little at a time.


I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly then all at once <3
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 3rd 2017, 08:19 AM

Hi there,

I've never had a miscarriage before so I can't imagine what you might be going through.

I'm so sorry to hear.

If you ever need anything, feel free to message me.


   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 4th 2017, 02:57 PM

Hey Christine,

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. I've never been through this myself. Just know that you are in my thoughts right now and I'm here if you need anything.

Paige


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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 9th 2017, 02:42 AM

Christine,

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, my heart is breaking for you. I have not gone through this myself, but my mother miscarried my younger sibling so I understand to an extent the pain the loss of a child causes a family. I will be keeping your family in my thoughts in prayers.

Erin


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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 9th 2017, 02:51 AM

Hi,
I am really sorry for your loss. Ive not gone through this myself, but ive had friend that did go through it and i was there for her.
I would suggest looking into support group. If you ever need anything, know that we are all here for you!
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 10th 2017, 07:25 PM

Hi Christine,

I know I could probably PM you, but I'm sure some of the others would want to have an update as well.

I know it's been a few weeks and we have talked a few times about this, but I hope you're holding out okay. If you need me to talk to the Obstetricians at work about anything let me know! I will still ask another one about what you asked me for advice for last week.

How are you doing?

Stay strong,
Brittany



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  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 10th 2017, 11:24 PM

I am doing okay, its still a little hard, its the first night alone in the apartment by myself. All his stuff around makes things nice on some days, sad and hurting on other days.
I am doing alright considering I guess.
Thank you for checking up on me.


I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly then all at once <3
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 20th 2017, 08:09 PM

Christine,
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how hard it must be. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this really difficult time. X


Be Strong, Have Faith, Have Courage xx

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Feel free to PM me anytime , I love getting PM's and I love supporting people as it distracts me from my horrible thoughts.
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - February 27th 2017, 01:54 AM

Hi there Christine,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I can't imagine what you are going through right now.

If you ever need anything, my inbox is always open.


   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - March 3rd 2017, 11:19 AM

have you spoken to your doctor about getting help for your loss
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - March 7th 2017, 02:21 AM

All the necessary needs for help for my loss, was taken the moment we found out he was gone. The doctor had someone come in so I had someone to talk to, my family didnt really leave my side unless I asked them too.
I found the doctors check up on me a much throughout the whole process, even when I was sent home after birth, I had doctor visits twice a week, the first week, then it was once a week, just to check if I needed anything, had any questions, to see how I was doing back on my medication, for my depression and anxiety disorders. From the moment we found out, they had done up papers for therapy, so we had someone to talk to twice a week, we are gradually trying to make the choice to down it to once a week, just because we both feel like we are ready to just have that extra day.

Don't get me wrong, the both of us are still saddened, and hurting even almost 2 months later, we still cry, I still have nightmares, we see his room, and it hurts.
We did get autopsy reports back, and had my 6 week post postpartum appointment. it helped knowing why it happen, but it hurts so much more knowing why, and knowing that I do have issues that I am considered high risk if I get pregnant again.

We are happy to know we can try again, and we plan on trying again, I know the process we have to take now and while I am pregnant, and I will be watched much closer.

All, in all, I am doing okay, I am keeping busy, and my little sister is so adorable and helpful with keeping me upbeat and happy.


I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly then all at once <3
   
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Re: Miscarriage/Birth - March 7th 2017, 05:35 AM

it's good to know you getting the support you need after what you been through
   
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