Wanting a baby at nearly 16???

[Uniqueness101]

ok so im 15 and i want a baby. I know some of you are like is she serious but im dead serious. Lately i have been having dreams about me getting pregnant, me and my bf thinking about names, us telling our families im pregnant and everything. I don't even know how it came up it just did. Where i live girls get pregenant young, actually i know a couple people who have kids and their only 15 and 16. Also im a godmommy of 2.. yess 2!!!! and thats make me want them more. Your probably thinking this girl is just horny and wants sex which is not true. Ive looked at all sides of this situation. finances, my parents reactions, school, the rest of my life!!! But i want a baby so bad. I want a child because i want something to call my own. My bf calls it legacy. People just don't understand where im coming from even though im young, im very mature for my age, and very intelligent but i know having a baby at this age is a stupid decision but i really think it can help me as a person. Please give me your feedback

[Nicolette]

Welcome to female hormones... I won't sugar coat anything here, being pregnant isn't fun, going in for prenatal appointments aren't pleasant, the birthing process is scary as hell (beautiful yes... but scary) and babies are expensive. I can understand wanting that connection and that love but I suggest you wait, you're still young yourself, you have things to learn and experiance, figure out your life before you start another.

[WillO'Wisp]

16 and wanting a baby is definitely not something you should consider AT ALL. Trust me, if you had a kid now it would wreck your life and you wouldn't be able to fufill all your goals and do what you want to do in life. Focus on accomplishing your goals first, get a stable job and get married then have kids, the old-fashioned way.

[GhostOfYou]

It is definatly normal. I have been going through this since I was 14, and fortunatly, I've waited so far. I still can't help wanting one. But before everyone post on here saying how much work having a kid is, because they know a lot better than I do about that, I'll just say this: I can see where you're coming from. However, it's kind of selfish to have a child just so you can feel better about yourself, because you can call it your own. I can understand thinking and wanting that. But please don't act on your thoughts just because you want someone to love you just because it's all they know. No one should have children for that reason. It's not about you, it's about the child. So if you want to get pregnant because you want a little one to depend on you so you can feel good about yourself, please don't...
And I'm not trying to be a bitch. I know this only because I want the same thing, for someone to love me and look up to me, and have me be able to give it everything in the world. Then I thought it all through, and it's really not fair to a poor child to have to live in poverty etc etc because their parents were young. It's not realistic. It's about the baby, not about us child-loving someday-parents, ya know?
Don't get me wrong, every parent on this forum, and many more young parents I know, make it work and are better parents at their young age than half the older parents I know! But that is because most didn't intend on it happening, and they're making the best of it. Trust me, just wait until you have a stable job and career going, and are commited to someone who is committed back.

Good luck hun, please wait...

-Melissa

[abj.]

Hey there
I've always known I've wanted kids. I wanted to have a stable job, live in a house with picket fences with 2 dogs , get married and have kids of my own. But there's a time for that. I have so much ahead of me and I'm in no rush to get married or have kids for that matter. Having a baby at such a young age, you should sit down and have this conversation with your boyfriend and consider the consequences ( especially including financially if you decided to have one at 16) . At 16, you should be focusing on living your life as teenager, having fun, hanging out with your friends . It's normal to wanting the desire to have a baby but it's not likely to make your life better going in this direction. It's difficult. I do know someone who got pregnant at a young age but she tells me it's hard everyday for her. Like I said, I would suggest you think twice before you decided on this and hopefully you'll wait a bit longer. I hope I helped =)

[Uniqueness101]

Thankyou for all of you alls feedback.

[EightEleven91]

Originally Posted by Dragon.Kingdom

16 and wanting a baby is definitely not something you should consider AT ALL. Trust me, if you had a kid now it would wreck your life and you wouldn't be able to fufill all your goals and do what you want to do in life. Focus on accomplishing your goals first, get a stable job and get married then have kids, the old-fashioned way.

Ouch, slightly harsh on people who have kids young. I know of someone who had a kid young whos in a very good stable job - So that isnt really true, tougher life in the short term yes, more expensive in the short AND long term.. yes.
But goals can still be achieved.

[flowerchild32273]

its normal to want this but trust me its just your hormones acting up. they like to do that. it doesnt mean you should actually go for it. it would really make your life tough. what about college? highschool? friends? what if your current bf isnt the right one? dating with a baby is alot more complicated and youll have baby daddy drama. just wait until the right time. like when youre married to the right guy and have money and a home.

[Sarah1325]

nononononono
just dont do it i got pregnant at 15 because I wanted a baby too. believe me its more tougher than you may think.

[PhoenixAlive]

Age isn't as much of an issue as financial stability. It costs a lot of money to support a family, and if you feel mature enough to have a baby, then you should feel mature enough to move out of your parents' and move in with your boyfriend, because its not fair to make your parents support your new family. Do you and your boyfriend have good jobs? It costs my husband and I almost $2000 each month to pay for just rent, heat, hydro, a phone, food, and baby expenses. Plus, initially, all of the baby expenses, like a crib (which is illegal to buy used), baby bottles, possibly a breast pump, possibly baby formula ($we have to pay 150 a month for that since I can't breastfeed), child car seat (they won't let you out of the hospital without one). There are just SO many costs that you have to think about before you jump into trying to have a baby.

That is the biggest issue that we face, so definitely something to think about if you are going to try to have a baby.

[BabyIndia]

Originally Posted by Dragon.Kingdom

16 and wanting a baby is definitely not something you should consider AT ALL. Trust me, if you had a kid now it would wreck your life and you wouldn't be able to fufill all your goals and do what you want to do in life. Focus on accomplishing your goals first, get a stable job and get married then have kids, the old-fashioned way.

My sister is 18 and has a two year old... She has her OWN house (Lucky bitch) and she goes to college. She has no financal difficultys or anything. She was 15 when she found out and 16 nearly 17 when she had him. In no way has the child ruined her life, infact it made her grow up.
I Don't see how a child wrecks your life tbh...

I'd make sure i was with the right guy and if it feels right, knowone can judge really can they? I mean you don't have sex unless your ready and it feels right do you?

My own view tbh.

[J&M's Mommy]

Some people have children young and are fine. They achieve their goals, make a good life for themselves and their child. But, honestly, that is not always the case at all!

Waiting is the best thing for you for many reasons. A couple being that it is better for your body, and better for things you want to achieve in your life. Granted you may want a child right now, but once you are pregnant, or even when the child is born. The reality will hit you. The person you had the baby with? Will they even be around anymore once the baby is born?

Just think about it. x

[bee]

I know how you feel. I went through that phase as well. But as everyone else has said, it's really not a good idea. I know for a fact from my own mother and aunts that babies are INCREDIBLY expensive, and at sixteen you will not have enough money to look after a baby as well as it should be looked after. One girl I know had a baby at 15 and shes always saying she wouldnt change her daughter for the world but she wish she had waited until she was older. And you more than likely wont be in a stable relationship, which will hurt when the kid grows up and ask where their dad is ): So its worth waiting until youre with the right person.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there,

The way you are feeling, like some of the others had said, is normal. I knew since I was about 12 or 13 that I wanted kids. I used to fantasize about it. What the baby would look like, if it would be a girl or a boy, what I would name it and on and on. However, I know/knew that any child that I have I want to be able to give a good life.

I would want to be able to provide my child with financial stability and emotional stability. I knew that if I were to have a child when I was not ready financially as well as emotionally I would not be able to be the type of parent that I know I can be.

I still dream of having kids and sometimes I feel as if my 'biological clock is ticking' or I feel like I am ready but then I think things over and I realize I am not. The thing that keeps me holding on is the fact that the ability to have kids will be there for quite a while. Also, knowing that if I wait a while until I have financial security I will be able to provide for my child more.

Another thing I think about is the fact that I am young (just like you) and I am at a point in life where I want to have fun. I need to have fun. And, I know that if I were to have a child now I would resent the fact that I cannot/did not get the ability to have fun. Have time for just me. And, the thing to remember is the moment you have kids you have there is no room to be selfish really. I mean you can still have you time but at the end of the day the child is going to stomp that.

I know you might be at a point where you think that you don't want to have fun or whatever. But, it will come on you. I know that my wanting to have fun stage did not come upon me until the end of last year.

So, enjoy life with just you and your boyfriend and your friends. Have fun. Take care of one another. Get to know each other even more than you do. Have fun as a couple and then make that decision. Live out your dreams and then fulfill that last dream of having a child.

I know sometimes the longing can be killer but it will happen. A child will come into your life but I am sure you will be much happier if you wait until you have all the things that will help ensure your child is happy. And, your child's happiness is always going to be the most important thing.

Best of luck and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me.

Jenna

[MadPoet]

The truth is that it's your decision, and no one can make it for you. But it seems that right now, the main person you are thinking about is yourself. The reality is that when you have a kid, it won't be about you anymore. You won't be able to go anywhere without him/her with you, first of all. No nights out with friends without your baby, no alone time whatsoever. You'll have to be awake a good percentage of the night caring for your baby when it decides to cry. You'll have to worry about financial issues and all you need to do in order to afford what is necessary for your baby. You'll have to worry about the relationship between you and your boyfriend, and whether or not he is a responsible father. You'll have to figure out where to live, how to tell your parents. What to do about school, and how to be successful and finish high school when you have your baby. The bottom line is that you won't have any time for most of the things you spend your time doing as of right now. No money to spend on yourself, no time to spend on your own, no worries to waste on yourself.

Sure, not every teenager makes a terrible mother or anything. But once they decided to be a mother, they're no longer teenagers. Babies are more than adorable and exciting. They take a lot of work, and at times it is more work than teenagers can handle. Also, imagine raising this baby on your own. Chances are, your current boyfriend won't be around forever. You're only 15, and not many relationships formed at 15 last too long.

Now is the time for you to experience life. To learn, to have fun, and to take care of yourself. Once you manage to create enough experience for yourself, to have enough fun, and to take enough care of yourself, then you'll be ready to do all of this for a child. But right now you're still a child yourself.

When your child is born, it deserves the best. It deserves someone who can provide for it and teach it all it needs to know. Right now, your still becoming and forming yourself. Your still learning, and still letting others teach you. Therefore, you can't give this baby all that it has the potential to receive. If you truly care about this future child of yours, you need to wait until you can give it the perfect life it deserves.

[Wallflower.]

I know what it's like to want that whole family thing. I'll see a really cute little baby and I'll think about how nice it would be to have a family. I know that it would be wonderful to share that beautiful bond with a child of my own. I think that it's normal to have these feelings, I mean, you're a girl after all! But I don't think that you're financially viable yet. It takes a LOT of money to have a child no matter what age you have it at, and if you're still in school with no good job then you won't be able to support your baby. I personally think that the best thing to do is wait until your income is reasonable, and you can provide for another life.

[Dr. Gregory House]

Hey there,

So, I'm gonna go with everyone else on this one. Being 15 and wanting a baby is totally normal. Most girls go through it - I was the weird one who told my mom she needed to get pregnant so I could have a baby brother or sister to take care of because I knew it would be stupid to have one of my own. :P I look at babies out in public with their moms and dads and I say, "I can't wait for that to be me..." and then I add, "In a few years," because I know I'm not at that station in my life just yet. But it'll happen, and when it does, it'll really be beautiful.
But honestly? Wanting a baby to have something to call your very own isn't exactly a reason to get pregnant. If you want something to call your own, adopt a puppy! They're only somewhat dependant on you and cute as hell.
There's no sense in intentionally getting pregnant at such a young age when you have your whole life ahead of you.

[Maiden]

I've felt this way too since I was about 14 and I still do! I have the dreams too and so do most girls I know. Sometimes I've felt so strongly about wanting a kid but I know that now is not the right time. I'm only 19, a full-time university student, and I know it wouldn't work for me. There's still lots of things I want to do before having kids and I don't have the finances or time to look after a kid.

Maybe you're the same or maybe not... It truly is your decision if you want to get pregnant. Personally, I wouldn't advise it. You will be able to have kids for the next 25 years or so, you don't need to rush right now and there's possibly a lot of things you'll miss out on if you're pregnant or have a kid. However, if it's right for you, it's right for you but think of all the things you'd miss out on. As one other person said, it's harder than you think to look after a kid.

[Wishable]

I think wanting a baby is totally normal. I've wanted a baby since I was about 11, it's part of that whole motherly instincts thing. Just because you want one though, doesn't mean you're ready to have one. Try and do everything you can with your life so that you can be the best mom possible when the time comes... experience everything, learn, love, make some mistakes, so that when its time to be a parent you'll have a lot to teach your little one.

Remember, sometimes the wait is worth it.

[Lizzie]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAlive

Age isn't as much of an issue

It’s a huge issue! Having a child in your teen years not only brings on medical complications for the mother but the child as well. Medical complications that would be severely reduced if the mother had the child in her twenties. Not to mention going the other way, having a child in your late forties can bring on medical complications as well. Just because you can have a child, does not mean the baby or the mother is going to be healthy during the pregnancy. The safest time to start having children is early twenties.
And while you are right, financial obligations do play a big role, so does the health of mother and baby. And when you have a teen pregnancy it brings on risks that would normally not be there during a pregnancy in a woman’s twenties and thirties.