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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
suicidal_bunny Offline
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Question should i tell him? - April 11th 2010, 10:20 PM

I feel in love with a guy, and we broke up...but now I'm 10 weeks pregnant, and I'm afraid to tell him, because his life is going so well. Now he is Bi-sexual...and In love with a guy, his family really hates me,(they say that I cause to much drama) and now their life is way better without me. He use to talk to me all the time! but now he doesn't want anything to do with me, because he thinks that his life is easier without me...and i think that he's right....and i was pregnant before by him...but the baby died at 8 weeks, so I'm really scared to tell him...because i know it will ruin his life....so what should i do?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: should i tell him? - April 11th 2010, 10:31 PM

I think you should do whats best for your baby's interest. If you want him/her to have a daddy in their life, then you should definitely tell him. But, it's all up to you hun.


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Re: should i tell him? - April 11th 2010, 10:43 PM

well its up to you but i think you should tell him. maybe tell him that youd like his support with the baby and maybe his friendship but you understand that at this point in his life he doesnt want a relationship with you. try not to be jealous about his boyfriend. im sure that even if he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you he would want to know that he has a child on the way. im sure you could work something out that would be good for everyone, especially the baby. it sounds like he's a good guy.


   
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Re: should i tell him? - April 11th 2010, 11:18 PM

I think you should tell him.

Firstly, every guy (apart from the abusive, rapist ones) has the right to know that he has a child. It's not fair to not tell him.

Secondly, do not feel bad about "ruining his life". This baby is the result of both of your actions, he was as involved in its conception as you were. It takes two to tango, so do not feel like this is something that you have done to him, you did this together.

Thirdly, you are so young. And if you are planning to keep the baby, you need as much support as you can get. And I'm pretty sure that this guy will have to, at least, pay child support. I know you might not feel like that's something you want to make him do, but if you are going to raise this child on your own, the least he can do is help out financially.

So you should tell him, maybe with a friend if you are worried that he might get upset. Also, do not let him talk you into having an abortion or anything like that, if that isn't what you want. What you are going to do with the baby is entirely up to you and don't let him push you around.

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: should i tell him? - April 11th 2010, 11:58 PM

I can very much see why you are really unsure about this right now. i can toatally see that being me lol since i pay so much attention to everyone else. well, ya know i really do think even though hes havin an easier life right now i mean if your gonna keep it or give it up for adoption then idk how you cud keep it a secret for that long sorry not trying to be rude but its the truth ya know? I think its just better to get it over with and let him deal with it and give support. if he chooses to be a jerk and stuff about it then thats his problem. you need other support than him then.
its up to you but i think you should cuz its not fair to him not to know for a really long time and then u tell him.


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Re: should i tell him? - April 12th 2010, 12:31 AM

You're 15, Im assuming hes not much older then you? If I were you, Id tell him. The worst thing he'll do is deny the baby and want nothing to do with the pregnancy. If you do tell him, be prepared for that. This is up to you. You can try to have him in your babys life, or you can leave it as it is, but he may get offended if you dont tell him. Its a tough situation, but I would personally tell him.
   
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Re: should i tell him? - April 12th 2010, 01:45 AM

First... Tell your parents. You're going to need all the help you can get. Second... Yes, definitely tell the father.

Get on prenatal vitamins as soon as possible and schedule an appointment with a doctor. And good luck... You have a very hard road ahead of you. Take all the help you can get, but also do your best to learn and mature in the process.


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Re: should i tell him? - April 12th 2010, 05:01 AM

You're being really conciterate thinking of him, like how you don't want to 'mess up his life' and whatnot. But remember: this boy GOT you pregnant. He needs to take responsibility. That's not saying he will, of course. But don't suffer and take all the problems on yourself, when you know damn well he had a 50% role in this.
I think it's also his right as a father to know. As long as he's not abusive, or not fit to be a father, etc, he should know. Definatly think of the best interest of the baby.
It can't hurt to tell him. Worst comes to worst, like a few up there have said, he'll deny it and not want anything to do with you. But there is a whole spectrum above that of 'what ifs'.
But you do have the right to hold him to 50% of the responsibility.
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Re: should i tell him? - April 12th 2010, 04:57 PM

Hey there,

While this is your decision to make, I do believe that it would be in you and your baby's best interest to tell the father that you are pregnant. Yes, it may cause him problems, but this pregnancy is the result of a decision you made together; it is my belief that you should deal with the consequences together, as well.

Have you spoken to your family about the pregnancy? If not, I reccomend that you talk to them first and foremost. Having you family's support during this time will make things much easier over the course of your pregnancy.

Take care of yourself. If you need anything, feel free to contact me, any time.


[/url]
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in a long time,
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I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

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Re: should i tell him? - April 12th 2010, 06:24 PM

Not telling him, could ruin his life.
Just sayin


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Re: should i tell him? - April 13th 2010, 01:57 AM

I suggest the first people you talk to is your parents, they might be upset but in the end they'll most likely have your best interest in mind on wether or not you tell the father or not.





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Re: should i tell him? - April 13th 2010, 10:12 PM

He has a right to know.


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Re: should i tell him? - April 14th 2010, 05:25 PM

I feel everyone has a right to know about their own child. I know that you care about him and are upset that the news your going to give will "mess up" his life, but it's something that is impacting your life too. Also it's not like any of this was anyones fault. It takes two people to make a baby so don't feel like the pressure from all of this should fall on you. I think that he has a right to have the opportunity to get to know his child/have a say in what happens with the rest of this child's life. Best of luck to you, Megan
   
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