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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Monkei Offline
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A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 11:30 AM

sooo guess who's six weeks pregnant on the implant.. you guessed it me!
My Mums on the phone now booking an abortion, is that my decision the answer is NO! i dont want to get rid of it it's my baby but what do i have to offer ??
Im 19 a student with no money and no means of supporting the baby, so has she made the right decision for me ???
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 11:46 AM

No. You're nineteen, you're old enough to make you're own decisions. It's your baby and your body. If you don't want an abortion no one should force you to get one.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 11:53 AM

i agree with bitesize- this is your decision not your mothers. don't let her control you and force you into making a choice you dont wont.




   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 12:42 PM

I agree with everyone else. Your mother has no right to tell you what decision to make, even if she is the one supporting you right now. I know its hard, but pregnancy is not a small matter, and what decision you make will effect the rest of your life. You really need to stick up for yourself and make the one that's right for you.

All I'll say is... try your best to think rationally right now. You are in school with no means of supporting your child. I'm not anti-abortion, but its has harsher effects on some than it does other... so if you feel uncomfortable with it DON'T DO IT. So, adoption maybe? You need to think about giving your child the best life possible right now. You could raise this baby if that's what you wanted, but it would be hard. It means a lot of sacrifices. Its possible, but is it really what you want/need right now?

Just really put some thought into it. I know you want to think with your heart right now, but make sure you really put some rational thought into this.

As for your mom, she is probably freaking out a little right now as well. So try and talk to her about it and give her some time to cool down. She cannot force you to go to that appointment.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 01:32 PM

No. It's NOT her decision. Stop, think, if you are religious, pray and try to come to a decision when you are no longer in shock. Don't let anyone make you do something you don't want.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 03:43 PM

You say you have nothing to offer, have you considered giving the baby up for adoption? That might be a good idea.
   
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 04:28 PM

There are many options besides abortion; what about adoption? That's definitely something to consider. No one can force you into doing anything with your baby if you don't want to. Don't follow through with this if you know that it's not completely what you want.





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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 04:33 PM

If you let the doctor know that you don't want an abortion and feel forced, they won't even touch you and instead send you to counseling. You need to start looking into community programs that help young, single mothers. Some will help you stay in school too by helping to pay for your schooling depending on your major.
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 05:39 PM

My Boyfriend has finaly spoken up and said that he will support me what ever decision i make. I know that it will mean dropping out of school, however im starting a job next week and over the summer should be earning around £300 a week which i know isn't enough but it will help.
Through the job im starting i can also go on loads of courses and gain qualifications which mean that i will still be able to work within child services and in time gain my social work degree. My boyfriend is on a pharmacy course and if i keep the baby he will continue that however will also have a job on top of that and until he finishes the course we will live seperatly, i mean in the future we're going to need a decent income supporting us.
I've said i will go to the initial consiltation and make my decision after that but i think im still more towards keeping it, i bought the subject up of adoption earlier however it's my baby and i would want to raise it. It won't be a life where the child gets everything he/she wants but it will be a life full of people who love them, if i feel later on into the pregnancy that i can't raise a child i will then consider the adoption route i think.

Thanks guys,

   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 14th 2010, 06:39 PM

Good luck with everything.




   
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 15th 2010, 03:15 AM

i dont think you should ever let anyone make the decision for you on what is best for your child. I was supposed to start nursing school this summer and i am now six weeks pregnant, and abortion never crossed my mind, my mom got an abortion when she was 16 and she is now in her 40's and it still effects her. There are also alot of medical problems you can have after getting one. So make sure to do research on it before you make a decision. You can always give your child a chance at life by adoption. Just think even at 6 weeks it has a heart beat and can feel pain, Would you do that to your child after it was born?
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 15th 2010, 07:41 PM

If it's not what you want, don't go through with the abortion. Maybe give the baby to a family who really needs it. If you're not ready to raise a child, YOU think through all options. Not your mom. Whatever choice you make will affect you for the rest of your life. It should be your decision, not hers.


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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 15th 2010, 09:09 PM

I promise my mum i'll go to the initial consiltation for abortion but im going to fight her, i've made my decision im having my baby.


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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 15th 2010, 11:11 PM

Good for u giRl
   
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 16th 2010, 01:13 PM

Good for you!
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 16th 2010, 01:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkei View Post
I promise my mum i'll go to the initial consiltation for abortion but im going to fight her, i've made my decision im having my baby.
Glad to hear it I was put in a situation where I was forced to at least go to the consultation as well. All it did was reinforce the fact that I wanted to keep my son. They do ask you a million times if anyone is forcing you into it... so if you answer yes (I think someone else said this too) they won't touch you.

They make you watch a video or two about abortion, and read pamphlets. The only thing I regret is that... you know, by going technically I considered having the abortion. On the positive side, they will give you an ultrasound (at least where I went.) They ask you if you would like to see, and if you would like a picture... which is strange. I guess its there way of getting you to not go through with it lol. I also live in a very catholic area.

Be prepared of protesters... they aren't pleasant. Do your best to ignore them.

If you need to talk or have any questions, PM me


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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 16th 2010, 02:34 PM

Soo I went today and said that i felt it was everyones decision but mine and she said that they won't touch me till im certain!
They have offered me councelling if i want to do it. I kinda peeked at the scan even though she tried to hide it and im 6 weeks 4 days along it has a heart beat.

I want my baby.
Apparently if i don't have it she'll by me a hamster ..... wtf


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  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 16th 2010, 04:14 PM

Good luck sweetie! Hoping everything goes well for you!!!


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Re: A decision being forced upon me - June 16th 2010, 05:35 PM

Hey Jaz. <3

It's up to you whether you keep the baby. It's good that you are going to see about an abortion. I feel that you are young and perhaps now isn't the right time, but this is your decision. If not now you can always go ahead and have a baby in the future.

If you need anything you know where I am.
   
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