Is it the Baby Blues or part of my Disorder?

[LostInsideofMe]

I used to pray every night that I was pregnant. I never have had sex before when this was going on. I am a lesbian, anyway. I hoped to God that somehow I would achieve immaculate conception and sometime I actually believed it - until my period came. I wanted a baby so so badly.. Then in parenting class we got those electronic crying babies that you put the key in its back. I kept him with me at all times and took such good care of him. Then the time to give him back came and I couldnt do it. I asked to keep him just a week longer and my teacher said yes. The week flew by but I was growing so sad because I had to give him back - my baby. I went to school that morning and went to my friend and started bawling. I told her I couldn't give him up and she did it for me. I cried for a long time after that. a week it seemed. I can still hear him crying and it makes me want to cry.

i have Borderline Personality Disorder, btw. I think I'm crazy all around anyway. But is that normal??

[MisplacedDreamer]

Well, I would consider talking to a doctor about your attachment to the electronic baby and they may be able to shed some light on it. People can be attached to inanimate objects, but it sounds like it was an extreme case however you were diagnosed with BPD so maybe it would have something to do with that.

[LostInsideofMe]

Thanks for the suggestions. =] I have always had attachments to inanimate objects so that helps. =] I had an olive jar when i was 13 that i carried everywhere. His name was Jr. and I even sewed clothes for him. Then there was a gum eraser named Blocky that I was very attached to. I had him for years.

Thanks again!!! =]