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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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an0nym0us Offline
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Unhappy Gay and struggling. - June 10th 2015, 05:51 PM

Hey guys,
So yeah I am a 15 yo gay boy and all my life I have been trying to be normal. Until the begining of this year because I finally came out to my friends. I was actually pretty satisfied with the results, all my friends were understanding and I have actually made more friends. But that is not the problem at all. I have ever since my coming out, planned to keep my fsexual orientation a secret from my mother, her friends, basically everyone related in any way to her, knowing that they are almost all muslims.Just because I thought it would be better to come out when I will be independent. Surprisingly I did quite well the first months. But then I have found myself trying to say it, I just couldn't control myself and I struggled keeping my mouth closed. Later I found myself having anxiety/panic attacks and my self esteem level went down really fast. My mom is completely against homosexuality, transexuality and anything around that. And I do understand that because in islamic countries people are not used to homosexuality and they all see it as a disease. I used to consider myself as a sick pers because that is what they have taught me. "Be normal." "Love girls". My mom always asked me why I didn't have much male friends and why I always hang out with girls. I always say something else and just try to avoid that. Honestly, I just don't fit in male groups. I don't like soccer, football and I am not attracted to girls. I just fit in with girls because they seem to be less judgemental and I am quite feminine myself. Although, my mom has confronted me today. She said that people at her job see me acting girly and that they are doubting that I am gay. She was not happy at all. I tried avoiding her by just not answering. A side of me just wanted to say the truth. But the other side of me was projecting the consequences in my head. So I ended up just shutting up. We had a quick talk about homosexuality and explained to her that it is not a choice. She acted like she understood hoping that I would come out right away. But I said I was "normal" because that's what she would've wanted to hear. Then she started saying that it is good and that homosexuals are bad and have a disease and bullshit like that. And our talk ended. And I still haven't said anything. I am just exhausted of hiding. I need a solution, please tell me what to do I am lost.
   
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Re: Gay and struggling. - June 10th 2015, 11:19 PM

Hi,

I think that your situation is already in the peaking point, meaning that she will probably find out because she already got suspicious about it.
I do not come from very conservative family but I knew that my mother knew I was gay when she started making commentaries about the way I dressed. Saying stuff like "Those pants you are wearing look faggy" or "I really hope that you're not gay, you will suffer a lot". I found this extremely crappy of her mainly because she has more than five gay friends, what a hypocrite.

If I were openly gay to my friends and to more people. I would just end up making her okay with it because she can change it. But only do this if you know that she won't harm you in any way.
   
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