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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Question Confused about my sexuality - November 23rd 2016, 03:31 AM

So... I like to consider myself pansexual because I would date a transgender, or at least I think I would. I don't know if I should consider it my sexuality, also because I don't know of I could have a relationship with a female(I'm born female) for some reason. I find them attractive but I don't know. I find lots of people attractive but don't think I'd want to date them or anything, but for some reason my thoughts are a bit different with females. I don't really know how to explain it, but I'm confused. I also understand that these labels don't mean anything, because they are just words, but I'm still confused anyway.


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Re: Confused about my sexuality - November 23rd 2016, 03:46 AM

I replied to your other one and let's go for this one as well.

Seeing as you are confused about a lot of your labels, having a look at the queer dictionary may be helpful to give you ideas on definitions for labels and see if you can identify more with any over others. You said you call yourself pansexual because you would date a transgender, now I don't want to be rude and if I come across as that I apologise. Transgender people are not a whole other gender, they are the gender they identify with. Pansexual is generally used to say you would date binary genders as well as non binary genders like genderfluid, agender, bigender or demigender. I also want to point out that there are romantic orientations as well as sexual orientations so you might have romantic feelings for people but you don't have sexual feelings for them, or vice versa. You could even end up being aromantic if you don't want to date anyone, but again that's only if it fits you. I find people attractive but that's again different from sexual attraction because it depends what kind of attractive you mean. It could be aesthetic attraction which is generally what I mean when I say attractive. If you don't think you would date a female then you might be polysexual which is over three genders but not all of them, which is for you just not females.

Finding a label, like I said before, can take a while and it doesn't matter if you do end up finding the perfect one. I know it can be confusing and wanting to put a label on but not knowing which one fits, and sometimes we just want a label which is just as fine as not wanting a label. For some people it just helps them be able to understand themselves more and that's fine.

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Re: Confused about my sexuality - December 5th 2016, 11:53 PM

I really hope me replying to this helps

First, I think that you shouldn't rush yourself to make a label for yourself, take your time, because it is most definitely not something that happens right away. But, I see what you are saying here, that you are likely to date a transgender person, but most likely not a girl, which is completely understandable.

With everything that you said, I don't know if pansexual is exactly the right term to identify most with (if it is right now that's fine and I'm not at all trying to mean with this) I would say that you could even fit into the straight category. I say this because transgenders (how I see it at least) are just people that weren't born that would have liked, which I would say (usually) doesn't correlate with sexuality.

I at this point am also confused, but identify with being bisexual. But, I also can see myself loving a transgender person if it is right, and don't see that as being pansexual.

But like I said before, you take as much time as you need to find the perfect label, or even make your own if you don't find yourself identifying with one. Until then, explore yourself, and see who exactly you are attracted to.
   
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