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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Honest Break-up? - August 9th 2012, 03:24 AM

My boyfriend lied to me about minor things all the time, we broke up once, he wanted another chance, i gave it to him but again, I caught him lying about stupid things. So we talked and during the conversation, I brought up all the ways he did wrong to me. He's never had a girlfriend who's honest, loyal, and trustworthy. Like his ex girlfriend cheated on him at least 5 times (For some reason, he took her back everytime). So I felt like he needs someone to make him feel better. I supported him with everything and he always said he appreciates the way I am and he's damn lucky to have me. But during the chat that we had last time, I said that he take me for granted and he said "Yes, I do." I didn't know if the lie would've made me feel better or what.

I felt like all my efforts and honesty to keep the relationship going was just one-sided and he didn't even try. I felt like he just didn't want to be alone. I was hurt so I told him if so, I don't wanna be hurt anymore so we broke up.

And 3 days later, he changed his profile picture with him and this cheer-leader girl (huge breasts) and his guy friends liked it and he commented, "I became a man, gentlemen." What is he trying to do? Were everything that he said all lies? Should I delete him off my facebook? Can anyone please say something about this relationship? If i did the right thing or not? Please help
   
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Re: Honest Break-up? - August 9th 2012, 04:06 AM

Hey there,
I think the best thing for you to do would be to call him and have a long conversation about how you feel about what he has done to you. You should set up a good example of a loving, caring, and what a true girlfriend actually is since he feels insecured about relationships because of the incident with his ex. And about the Facebook picture, if it really bothers you a lot, then confront him about it. Another option would be just to break up with him because I bet you don't want to be in a relationship filled with lies, right? You don't want him to change his profile picture with some cheerleader girl either. If you can't trust him, it's better to break up. Well that's all I have to say, if you want to talk more about this or anything else or just wanna chat, feel free to VM or PM me anytime I'd love to chat and help
   
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Re: Honest Break-up? - August 9th 2012, 05:07 AM

i think i forgot to mention or i wasn't clear enough but I already broke up with him. I just don't understand why he would treat a girl loving and caring AND faithful like me, that way. And that profile picture was after we broke up.
   
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Re: Honest Break-up? - August 11th 2012, 05:32 AM

If I were in your position, I would remove him from Facebook - at least for now. It's clear this guy has been hurt, and he's not ready to be the selfless boyfriend you need him to be. I don't know how much of what he said were lies, but what I do know is that it wasn't meant to be. He needs more time to heal, and you can't really rush something like that. If you're putting in all the effort, and he's still too scared to do the same in return, then this break-up really was for the best. It will be easier to gain closure and "move on" if you don't have constant reminders about what you have lost - which includes things like that picture, the comments between him and his friends, etc. An honest (and productive) conversation may be possible in the future, but right now, I think you need to put some distance between the two of you. Maybe you can reconnect with him in a few months or a year, and ask him what was going on when you two were dating.





   
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Re: Honest Break-up? - August 14th 2012, 06:14 AM

I agree with you. But I have one more thing to ask. Two days before we broke up, it was his birthday and I bought his favorite game online and shipped it to his house but he didn't get that until after we broke up. And today, about a week after we broke up, he texted me saying thankyou and that he never thanked me for the gift even if he got it after his b'day. I know he's lonely and he really loves me, i know he loves me and when we talked, he even said that he knows he lies and he doesn't like how he makes me feel. He said that he feels bad about how he make me feel by lying. But i don't understand why he wouldn't change..

Should I text him back? Should I talk to him? I still have feelings for him but i don't know if it will work out even after a second chance failed..

Thank you for your help! I really appreciate it.
   
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