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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
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Angry Abusive relationship breakup - June 20th 2015, 07:11 PM

Ahhhhh, ive been in an abusive relationship for the last 6 years and finally broke away from it the other day!

I'm worried that things are so quiet from him! The police had to warn him to keep away or legal action will be taken. Judging by his behaviour the past 6 years, I expected lots of harassment and threats. It's the end of day 3 and I've heard nothing?

Absolutely hating myself right now because I miss him so much! I find myself wondering how he is, how he is feeling and how he is coping with all this? I hate myself for missing talking to him, for missing our routine. I was desperately unhappy with him but can't get him out my head now I'm free! Deep down I am angry with him for how he treat me, how he spoke to me, and how worthless he made me feel by belittling me in public and behind closed doors.

I just can't cope! I have all this free time on my hands but I'm petrified to leave the house incase he is waiting for me, waiting to punish me for getting the police involved.... I constantly look over my shoulder and lock my car doors just incase! I'm just full of emotions of all kinds it's overwhelming!

I just can't cope


You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


I AM A BANANA



imi , sophie , me
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
RollTheBones Offline
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Re: Abusive relationship breakup - June 21st 2015, 06:02 AM

Stay strong!!!! The best thing for you is that you keep yourself safe and try to move on with your life. Surround yourself with friends and family that you trust and who love you so that you are alone as little as possible. They will help you relax and keep calm because they can help provide extra protection and security if needed. As much as you miss him, try to focus on other activities and people that are healthy for you and that you enjoy. This will help you begin a new chapter in your life. Always remember that it is not your fault and that you are in a better place now. It is totally normal to feel confused, sad, angry, hurt, etc in these types of situations and keep in mind that you are not alone!!! Seek support and help when you need it, and don't be afraid to tell people how you feel and how they can help you. I wish you the best of luck! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
Take care,
Rhianne


"In a world where I feel so small, I can't stop thinking big"
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Abusive relationship breakup - June 21st 2015, 06:55 AM

I completely identify with this, Sophie! Like you, I recently left an abusive relationship and I know how difficult it is to do. Kudos to you for finding the strength to do what's best for you!

It's completely natural for you to miss him. After all, he was a major part of your life for the past 6 years. Regardless of how negative his behavior was, breakups are hard and you're coping just like anyone would when leaving a healthy relationship. More than likely, you aren't mourning the end of the relationship as a whole. Instead, you're probably mourning the loss of the person that you fell in love with and the good moments that you did have during your relationship. Your breakup is still fresh and, as with most things, it will get easier to handle with time.

Would it be possible for you to call a friend or family member and have them come over? Perhaps it would make you feel safer leaving the house if you had someone with you. I know you said that the police have been involved, so you might want to consider filing a restraining order if you haven't done so already.

If you need to talk about anything, feel free to shoot me a message. You can do this, girl!


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
helloooo :D
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Re: Abusive relationship breakup - June 21st 2015, 06:43 PM

Thanks guys. I spoke too soon about no contact. Had texts and voicemails from him saying he is so very sorry and I'll always have a place in his heart blah blah blah. It makes me hurt when he sends these but then I snap out of it by thinking of the bad he has done to me! I'm having a girly day out of the city on Wednesday to get away from having to watch my back all the time! Going to buy myself a nice outfit and hit the town Friday night do stuff I've wanted to do for so long!!! I've never ever had a night out without him! Thanks for replying guys, ive spoke to my support worker too and she said we will look into a restraining order on Monday! Just got to log absolutely everything he does!


You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


I AM A BANANA



imi , sophie , me
   
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