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kandeejay Offline
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Marriage, wanting it or not... - January 5th 2016, 05:54 AM

So my bf and I recently got back together after almost a month of being seperated, things have been really good between us so far, he said he really missed me a lot and we're happy we're back together, we were together 4 mnths before we seperated.
but something that kinda bothers me is, he's never really seriously discussed or considered having kids or getting married, i'm a few years older than him he's 23, like right now he doesn't want to get married or have kids i know that, but i'm wondering if it's worth sticking around waiting maybe in the future he will decide he wants kids and marriage and change his mind, once he's matured more or once we've been together longer.
do you think i should stay with him, and wait a while and see what happens, or do you think once a guy doesn't want marriage even if he's still young he's not ever going to change his mind?
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Re: Marriage, wanting it or not... - January 5th 2016, 06:22 PM

I think he may change his mind. It also depends on his reasons for not wanting to get married or have children.

Im almost certain i will never want to have children and i dont think i would want to get a married. But the latter may change.
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Re: Marriage, wanting it or not... - January 5th 2016, 09:06 PM

Hey there! I'd suggest talking to him about it and ask him to clarify his longterm plans. Even early in dating somebody, you have the right to know if you two are on the same page of life goals and compatible longterm. While it's not "wasting your time" to be with somebody with different opinions on the subject, if marriage and children is something important to you and not for him, you two may be better off as friends or lovers until you both meet people who are more compatible.

Before asking him, I'd reflect on your own goals. Are you dead set on having children and getting married? If so, do you have a time limit on when you want that to happen? He may want to get married and have children, but may want it much later than you do, and it's perfectly reasonable for you cut ties if you two are simply not compatible in this way. He also may really not want that lifestyle, and you should be aware of that before moving forward in a relationship with him. However, you may want to consider if you are flexible to wait. At 23 myself, I want to wait many years before having children (if I have any at all) and he may feel the same way, and you need to decide whether you're okay waiting.

Good luck!

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