I cheated... Now what?

[DancingOnTheEdge]

I'm dating this guy named brian and I been with him since valentines day. We have been doing alot of on and off dating since 7th grade (we are seniors now) He's a nice guy he really is but unfortunetly hes really annoying and he loves getting involved in and talking about whats going on with people and it really gets on my nerves. and he is always talking about his bestfriend who happens to be a girl. and his exs particularly my best friend. and this girl that works at the pool. Its really aggrivating and he doesnt treat me like a girlfriend when we are around people he acts like im just another face in the crowd and i dont feel important to him at all.
So my friend/ex josh starts texting me saying he wants to get back together and hang out and he misses me and im beautiful and all sorts of other really sweet stuff that made me feel special. I agreed to hang out with him yesterday. I didnt have that much gas in my car so we just hung out at his house, well he kissed me, and it kinda went from there.
I got home and brian came over because we also havent seen eachother in a few days and we were laying down on the couch and I really didnt want him to touch me or kiss me or anything which is weird because I am never like that.
I feel bad about sleeping with josh but I dont know if i should tell brian because we are still dating but im not sure I even want to be with him now. Im interested in them both but for different reasons
Brian I can talk to and he is content just cuddling and having fun until we get around other people then he treats me like a moron and like im unimportant to him which honestly hurts and I think he still is inlove with my best friend who he also dated
Josh isnt the type of guy who is content with sitting at home cuddling watching a movie ect. he lives like 30 minutes away so when I can see him he doesnt wanna spend our time talking he would rather be intimate but he doesnt push me and he doesnt act different around people when Im with him.

So with cheating should I tell brian what I did?
Should I just keep it a secret?
Should I wait till I know if I even want to be with him?
Should I let josh know Im with brian because he doesnt know?

Im so confused I am deffinatly not the type of girl who cheats so this is a whole new thing for me its not something I particularly want to get used to and I am clueless as to what I should do.

[PSY]

I would come clean, and tell Brian what happened. He deserves the opportunity to decide whether or not he wants to stay with someone who's still attracted to her ex-boyfriend. You may also want to think about why you're with Brian, and why you've never been able to STAY with Brian, after all these years. Perhaps it's time to give up on him, and find someone that you're more compatible with.

[Jacksonian]

Well, decide whether you are on or off. You can't be going on then off then on and so on.

But it seems to me that part of you doesn't like Brian. You have to meditate and think about this and decide whether you want to be with him or no.

And tell him. Be honest with him. No relationship is built on lies. You need to talk to him and let him know what happened. And also you need to let that other guy know that you are with someone for the moment.

But you need to make a decision, either be with Brian or Josh or with neither. And to make this decision you have to look at who you like being with and after that look at whether the guy you like being with is good to be around.

[DancingOnTheEdge]

Im pretty sure im going to just tell brian what happened and see what happens. Part of me doesnt like brian because of how he acts when we are around people but he is still a nice guy and if the tables were turned i would want to know if he slept with somebody else. I'll probably lose him but thats ok. we arent really meant to be to begin with. we are way to different.

But I also think I'm going to kindly ask Josh to lose my number. Todays saturday me and him hooked up thursday afternoon. I have sent him 2 texts nothing really major just hey whats up hows it going sense then and I havent heard from him and I have a BIG problem with a guy who can sleep with a girl say it means something and then just not bother talking to her. thats not the kinda guy I wanna be with either.