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HookedOnPhonics Offline
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Unsure of what to do now - February 28th 2011, 06:23 AM

Well, this is my first post here, but I've lurked for awhile ;P.

Anyways, theres this girl (Isn't there always?) that I like, I've known her for about a year but only closely for a little while (Probably a month or two). We go to opposite schools but I have a class at that school with her that she convinced me to take. She also asked me to hang out there with her during lunchtimes when we have a double block of that class. So, on Valentines day my friend (He knows that I like her) pushed me to break out of my shell, she is the first girl that I actually expressed myself to, I bought her flowers that day and brought them to her school at lunch and got her to meet me out in the parking lot. It was pretty damn awkward but it felt great. A week later, after class I ask if I can talk to her and I ask if she would like to go to dinner sometime, she said yes, but it seemed kind've rushed, she might have meant to say what she said below at that point in time. :\

Now heres the problem, the next day she pulled me aside after class and asked if she could talk to me. She said she was sorry but she wasn't looking for a relationship at this point in time, and she asked if I was still interested in going to dinner sometime, but as friends. :\ I said yes anyways and we still have to sort out those details. But why would she get me to go to her school with her, want to hang out with me at lunch, and go sit with her during that class, but not want a relationship? I know that she hasn't ever been in one and that might be putting her off, but neither have I.

Sorry for the walls of text. But honestly what can I do here? I really like her a lot and want to work out a relationship hopefully before grade 12 ends ;\. Thanks and once again sorry for the wall of text.
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Katrina Offline
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Re: Unsure of what to do now - February 28th 2011, 12:18 PM

Hi there,

Most people who aren't actively "looking to be in a relationship right now" typically aren't 100% opposed to being one either. To be honest, I'm usually not looking to be in a relationship with people at first either, which is why the whole getting-to-know-the-person process happens. Most relationships do start out as friendships, you know. So, I would just take this in stride. Keep getting to know her. Go to dinner with her - it sounds like she wants to get to know you; she just may not want to feel pressured to do anything more than that, which is why she's framing it as you guys just going as friends. So, see what happens. There's always a chance that sparks may fly, even at "just friends" dinners.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

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Re: Unsure of what to do now - March 2nd 2011, 03:44 PM

Hi, a lot of girls want to get to know someone first. Especially if its her first. She might just want it to be special. Wait awhile. keep hanging out with her if you like being around her. The dinner sounds fun for you guys. The best couple and cutest couple i know have been best friends for a few years now. I'm not saying you need to wait that long cause they honestly didnt they liked eachother a few years ago and started dating almost a year ago. But anyways, what im saying is a lot of couples start out as friends and work well because they know eachother and trust eachother.
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