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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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lexi212 Offline
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Question June 21st 2011, 05:15 AM

Hi! My boyfriend and I have decided to get engaged... I can give all the details, but to make a long story short- everyone, including my friends, thinks we're kidding. It comes across at unsupportive and inconsiderate. My fiance (ahh!) is going into the army and we want to get married not only because we feel ready, but so that we can live together on base. We've been best friends for 4 years and I know that he's the one. Although chronologically young, we are mature and ready for commitment. We both have traditional values and know what we want. However, my problem is going through with the marraige and still being accepted by my parents and friends. This is something I'm 100% dedicated to and I want it to be right... I don't want to elope or get married in court. I want the real wedding experience- and my human resource manager father will NOT understand. He is too practical for love and divorced my mom for getting too emotional. I want his acceptance. My mom will understand, she's usually supportive. My sister, who I want to be my maid of honor, will disapprove. She wants me to marry someone with money- she takes after my dad. She's going to say I'm too young. I just don't know what to do. This man means the world to me, and I want to be able to smile and tell everyone that we're engaged in a way that they'll smile back and be happy for me...however, I can't do that when everyone I tell assumes I'm joking and won't believe any differently... how can I get my point across delicately to my dad but forceful enough so that he knows I'm serious? And how can I make it so that my friends can simply understand I'm serious? I know they'll be supportive once they know I'm not kiddding. Thanks! Sorry for being so long winded!

I just don't want to lose anyone in this.

Last edited by PSY; June 21st 2011 at 06:37 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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Re: Telling my parents - June 21st 2011, 06:15 AM

Do it. Just tell them. In the end, I think it will all work out. They'll come around. It may take a little time, but they will come around because they love you.


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Re: Telling my parents - June 21st 2011, 07:08 AM

Might want to consider it for a little while longer before jumping straight into it...this is a pretty big decision, and it deserves a considerable amount of time to gestate before solidifying, no matter how certain you feel right now. I think that once you are absolutely certain that this is what you want to commit to, then you should slowly start telling your family, perhaps starting with those you think will accept it pleasantly and working your way to those who won't be receptive to it. But you won't "lose" anyone -- they're you're family and they love you. If this man makes you happy, then they will quickly come to accept any decision you make regarding your relationship with him (after all, it's none of their business to begin with, and I would hope that they have your best interests at heart). You won't have to worry about your friends not believing you -- if they don't believe you after persisting with the truth, then they're just being simply rude. Best of luck!
   
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Re: Telling my parents - June 21st 2011, 08:03 AM

I know people that marry young because their significant other is going into the army & so far it's worked out great for them.

If your parents are worried about money & stuff, you can also tell them the many benefits of marrying someone in the army (paying for college & other stuff). You should look into it. I know it's not the reason why you two are getting married & I applaud that, but it might help convince your parents.

Congrats, by the way.
   
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Re: Telling my parents - June 21st 2011, 12:59 PM

Hi there,
Congratulations on your engagement.

I think that telling them outright will work. Have him present, that way they know that you aren't joking. Let them know that there are benefits to marrying someone in the military. They might not make much money, but you get free medical benefits, and spouses, after being married for a certain amount of time even get a chance to go to college, free because of the marriage.
If your father and sister can't be supportive of you, maybe they aren't worth a wedding invitation. It might be difficult, but they seem very unemotional when it comes to others feelings, and this is going to be an exciting time for you. You don't want anyone to bring you down.











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