Last attempt at a break up

[tk338]

I've tried breaking up with my girlfriend of 7 months multiple times, but it just isn't happening... Every time I try she'll persuade me otherwise, or just get so upset... And when you love someone its proper hard to hurt them. You know?

Its not for want of trying I haven't broken up with her, I have tried, a lot, but now its got to the point im scared shes gonna do something stupid if I do break up with her.

The other night I made another attempt and she told me I couldn't leave her but she would rather I stay with her and act like I wasn't with her, and if I ever wanted to see her... When I said thats about as good as breaking up she broke down in tears... But shes happy for this situation to continue.

Shes got to the point where shes completely obsessed now, I love her, but I'm getting a bit freaked out at quite how obsessed she is, also I don't want to lead her on, but if I try and break up with her I have to go dow a whole guilt trip lane again and I can't do that. The only other option is go and get my stuff from her house and then break up with her via a message of some kind, but I think thats really cruel. Halp!?

[snakewhisperer28]

if she really dosent get the message at this point.. i think you should get your stuff from her house, then write her a letter expressing that you love her but you need to end it (list your reasons). i find letters to work well when you have trouble saying something to someone in person. and no at this point i wouldnt consider sending her a breakup letter cruel. you have tried face to face, you need to be happy too. good luck

[moyshi239]

Hey there,
Breaking up is never an easy thing to do. Whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, it just kind of sucks. I understand that breaking up with someone you really care about is difficult, and seeing them upset is hard and can make you feel a bit guilty. I do however, think you need to keep reminding yourself about your own wants and needs. From reading your post it seems like you've continuously tried to break up, but are never able to follow through with the final decision. This is where you need to remind yourself that you can't keep sacrificing your own happiness just to make someone else feel a little better.

The longer you drag the breaking up process out, the harder it gets. Leading her on gives her the wrong idea, and will only make you unhappy. If she suggests breaking up but still hanging out with her even though you're not 'together', i'd strongly advise against that. It generally leads to false hope that one day you two will get back together.

When you break up with her for good, try to give yourself some space. A lot of people find that it's hard to move on when you're still keeping in contact with them for the first little while. I know it may be hard not to cave and continue to stay in touch, but you have to be strong and and let her know that you need space and this is really what you want.

As for how you break up with her, it's really up to you. Are you able to get your things from her house and then break up with her in person? Breaking up in person is always the 'better' option however if you really don't think you'll be able to, a message is a back up.

Again, breaking up isn't a fun thing to do, but sometimes it's just the right decision. It's only natural that she'll be upset, but you can't let that stop you from following through with what's right for you. I hope this post was a little bit helpful, and I hope things go alright.

Take care. :]