such a mess!

[breaktheshore]

okay so i've posted here before (when i was trying to get over the breakup) but on the weekend i went to a party and my ex (of a month and a half) was there and so basically my best friend ditched me to hang out with him for the entire night, they were with everyone else, i was right there and they were flirting really obviously and infront of everyone... i was really uncomfortable, and kind of hurt that she did that, but no one believed i was actually sick.. most people just thought i was faking it and that i was actually really jealous.. ANYWAY so she was coming back to my house for a sleepover and ended up in tears because she found out that everyone was pissed off at her for doing what she did, i reassured her and told her i wasnt angry or anything, but at school she still thought i was so i wrote her a letter explaining everything like why i was upset at the party but that i wasnt anymore and it was all cool and i was over my ex anyway. but then he started getting involved, i messaged him trying to explain any misunderstandings that i was upset and angry at them, and he begs me to tell him why i was upset, so i had to spell it out for him (it isnt hard to understand), then he said he was sorry and they didnt realise but that he heard i was hard on her after the party and that pissed him off, SO i explained how i wasnt at all... but thats not all the next day he went up to her and told her everything i told him but twisted my words to make it sound like i was bitching about her, and then he walked home with her, only to talk about it again! i really don't know why he cares so much and it's just getting annoying now.. its like he wants there to be a fight about him so hes stirring it up! what should i do??

[California]

Your friend needs to be a friend and stick with you, you said "getting over a breakup" so it sounds like he broke up with you. If shes your friend she should always have your back and help you get over the break up not try and get involved with your ex.

Your ex sounds really immature and I would distant yourself from him cause hes causing drama in your friendship but your friend hanging out and flirting with your ex isn't showing herself as a true friend either. Your in quite the pickle I know its hard especially at such a young age, just keep your head and chin up.

We have all been in these situations sure some better then others but one thing i took away from an experience like this is what others say and do is a projection of their true colors, times like these you find out who your true friends are and the ones your better off without.

[breaktheshore]

thankyou! that really helps... I just don't understand why he's doing this and why he's suddenly decided to completely turn on me when i never did anything... he broke up with me and we agreed to be friends, but now he just seems to be lapping up the drama and trying to stir it up... i also feel like i need to stay good friends with that friend even if it's just to prove a point (that im not angry) so he can stop using things against me.. if that makes sense. but im not sure if that's a good idea...

[Harmony♥]

It sounds to me like he's doing this to impress her. Pshh, men.

I wouldn't worry too much about his part in the whole equation. He's immature, and has a lot of growing up to do. He's just wanting to cause drama between you and your friend. What should matter right now is your friend. I would personally talk to her, if you haven't already. Explain to her that what he told her wasn't true, and even show her the messages sent between the two of you to prove it, if you want. Trust me, no guy should ever come between you and a friend, but your friend should have realized that flirting with another friend's ex is a HUGE no-no. It's sort of against girl code to do that. However, if you're okay with the possibility of them dating in the future, you could let her know that too.

[breaktheshore]

thankyou, yeah i did, i called her and explained everything... i made it clear everything was cool, but she was never sorry, not once.. she apologised that i thought they were flirting, but insisted they weren't. Now though, they obviously have a thing, she's not even really trying to hide it anymore, she barely talks to me and she's completely put him first, i've tried SO hard to make sure our friendship is okay, but i'm just not sure that's possible anymore... she's moving schools in a couple of weeks so it's all very weird, but it's hurt me so badly to the point where i'm avoiding going to school now, just so i don't have to see them together... i just don't think she ever had any intention in saving our friendship, she's doing whatever is best for her and she doesnt care who she hurts in the process because she knows she's moving... i did tell her that whatever she and him have was okay because i was over him, but i felt like i had to say that, no matter what... it's still hard.

[Harmony♥]

Well, when you tell her that it's okay and that you weren't upset that they were flirting with each other, she is going to take things in her own hands and continue to see him.