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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Religious girls/guys and sex - November 5th 2011, 01:13 AM

Any of y'all have experience dating someone "holier-than-thou," in the sense of wanting to wait on sex or even third base for religious reasons? I don't intend to engage in one-night stands or have a fuck buddy, but I'm not exactly keen on waiting for marriage either. I believe sex is best in a loving, steady relationship, but my "lady friend" seems to take it to another level.

My girl always seems conflicted in that she wants to be intimate but feels guilty about it afterward. I don't want her to blame me for "taking things too far," but I'd like to at least have oral now and then. Is there anything I can say to her to help her feel less "sinful?" And she's otherwise an awesome person, so breaking up doesn't seem like a valid option right now.



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Re: Religious girls/guys and sex - November 5th 2011, 06:20 PM

Unfortunately, since her reasons behind the guilt are religious, there isn't anything you can do to really change her mind. She was most likely raised to believe in the 'wait until marriage' aspect of the religious community. That should be respected, and shouldn't be pushed upon her or pressured upon her either. You could try explaining that sex is a sacred thing, and that people have been doing it for years, even before marriage, and that even though waiting is okay, that if she decided to change her mind, God wouldn't punish her for that. But, if she still doesn't budge, I would just let her be and respect her decisions. I would hate to have a partner who felt guilty for doing something sexual with me afterwards.











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Re: Religious girls/guys and sex - November 5th 2011, 06:37 PM

Read up on the idea of betrothal in religious forums. Seems the idea of celibacy until a marriage ceremony was performed is a relatively recent idea. In the old testament marriage started with the "leaving of the parents and cleaving to each other"


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Re: Religious girls/guys and sex - November 5th 2011, 07:59 PM

She's only human. Mind fuck her enough and her god will change her rules for you. Just be nice and pretend you would like to wait too, when you two feel close enough she'll hint somewhere that it'd be ok since you're so close and it's the ceremony that just hasn't been performed yet.

Or you could, you know, always get it from somewhere else.
   
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