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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Exclamation Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 13th 2011, 08:00 PM

So last night I went to a house party held by a group of friends I don't know too well. There was a guy there who I hadn't met before and took a fancy to him. We didn't talk a lot but did more once we started walking into town and also while we were out. Everything was friendly and I still took a fancy! We have the same kind of humour and conversation could run smoothly

At the end of the night everyone went back to house where the party started to sleep but carried on the banter and put a film on first. Myself and fancy boy were the only 2 on the floor and we were sat close but not touching or anything. I was pretty tired and he grabbed a cushion for me. I was first of the group to want to sleep and in my sleepiness fancy boy got me some more soft things to lay on and put a blanket over me. He slept next to me with his arm extended out above my head. I remember being awake when everyone else in the room was asleep and shivering as I was cold but being too scared to get close to him.

Anyway I must've fallen asleep as I woke up this morning to only him also awake. I'm sure he asked me if I was okay I went upstairs to use the bathroom then when I came back we spent ages talking and laughing while laying down next to each other. He realised too the blanket he put over me wasn't that thick so asked if I was cold. I told him I was freezing in the night and he said I should have said something. I can't remember now how it started but we ended up getting quite close, hugging and play fighting. He put his arm around me a few times and stroked/tickled my back/arm/shoulder which felt really good. He even gave me butterflies. He kissed me a few times on the neck too and a couple times on the lips. This was all whilst everyone else was asleep.

Once everyone woke up though, he almost acted like none of that had happened. It kind of felt like he didn't want his friends to know. There wasn't much eye contact between us from then on either and just generally seemed to have lost interest now his friends are awake. I sort of get it, none of them know me THAT well and I'm hardly in on the gossip or of anything that really goes on with this group. And I'm way more shy around groups than I am individuals.

After about an hour, fancy boy announced to everyone he was going to make a move and did actually offer me a lift part way home which I accepted. Conversation was still fine in his car, he asked how I was feeling and carried on getting to know each other. He was asking about my work. But it was all back to the friendly level and like the flirting/cuddling/looking into each others eyes didn't happen! I was actually a little annoyed but didn't want to say anything. Just before I got out his car I wanted to ask for his number but didn't know how to, guess the possible rejection put me off too! So it ended with me thanking him for the lift and him with hoping I had a good night. I might have said 'see you later' which I guess we both know means we'll see each other if we are out with that same group of friends at the same time again. Then I closed the door and walked away...

Been thinking about him all day though. I rarely feel like this so soon about anyone. The couple of times I have they felt the same, one is an ex and another is a guy who I was sort of seeing for a short period but he turned out to be an idiot who got bored of girls fast. I'm a little worried this fancy boy could be the same.

I'm sure I could easily get his mobile number from someone in that group without too much of a fuss being made and then I could text him.

I really want advice on what you think I should do! Should I text him or just leave him? I don't know what he's like when it comes to girls. He strikes me as quite confident so I doubt he has trouble getting girls he wants. I've no idea if he sleeps around or is a genuine nice guy who treats them right. I don't feel comfortable asking anyone in this group about him or telling them I've got a thing for him.

Part of me thinks he didn't ask for my number when I got out the car so he can't be interested. But then the other part thinks maybe he thought I wasn't interested so maybe that's why he didn't ask. (he was the one making the first moves with the cuddling and odd kisses, all I may have started is the odd play fight!) And so even just a simple text to him will show I'm interested as he'll know I've had to go to the effort to get it from somewhere!

Sorry it's long winded, and thanks ahead for any advice
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 14th 2011, 12:40 AM

Well I think if you have been thinking about him all day, then you should get his number. Don't give up on him just yet. As you said, he may not have known you were interested since he was the one who initiated all the flirtingness. However he may have just been in a 'mood' where he wanted someone to cuddle and kiss. I think the best way to find out is to just start talking to him again and then see how he feels about you. See if he wants to hang out one on one sometime and get to know each other better. From what has happened its hard to tell if he is interested or not since you got mixed signals, but since he did cuddle and kiss you I think he may have taken a fancy to you as well. See if your friends want to hang out again and invite him and go from there. You'll never know unless you try.


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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 14th 2011, 08:05 AM

His number, you should ask for.
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 16th 2011, 11:12 PM

Okay so update:

I got his number and asked him if we wanted to do something, so we hung out tonight for a couple hours in a local pub. He picked me up and dropped me home. Conversation was still running smoothly and I still like him and what not He bought me a drink in the pub then we talked about work, friends, family, the usual sort of stuff. He mentioned his ex a few times, I gather she broke up with him and it ended over a year ago. Nothing extreme was mentioned, I'm sure he's over her so not worried about that! But then we talked about sex lives and he asked about my ex which I wasn't totally comfortable with but as he was being so honest and open I was too.

I think he's only had one long term relationship (the ex he mentioned) and only slept with her and another girl while he was at school but was or had dated her. Whereas me on the other hand have also slept with 2 people but the first I don't even remember his name and was only this year and the other since then under same circumstances - drunken one night stands. He didn't really seemed phased by it but surely it's quite off putting?

Also as he was asking about relationships and sex history does it sound like he's possibly interested in a relationship with me? I'm 100% sure he's not just after a shag, he seems far too genuine and like a nice guy.
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 16th 2011, 11:51 PM

Well its hard to say, but asking about past relationships could mean he is interested and was trying to find out if you two would work well together. However, he could have just been trying to find something to talk about. Don't give up just yet, try hanging out again sometime and see where that takes you.


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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 19th 2011, 09:07 AM

Well he has asked to see me again
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 19th 2011, 02:59 PM

Its sounding good
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 19th 2011, 06:23 PM

I'd say hes interested then. Let us know how it goes!


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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 22nd 2011, 07:02 PM

Next update!

He took me out again last night, this time to a really nice cinema. It was quite a long drive but we still always found something to talk about. He bought me a drink as we got there early, he doesn't seem to want to let me pay for anything! The film wasn't great but I don't think either of us cared as we enjoyed each others company a lot He'd put his arm around me a few times and we held hands a bit in the cinema. We have the same kinda 'weird out there' humour which a lot of people think is too much!

The drive home was much more fun though, perhaps we were both quite excited as the weather was so awful haha. Not sure I've laughed so much before, we were holding hands nearly the whole way home too. I think a few times it was mentioned about doing this or that and he did say we can only see each other evenings for now (both work 5 days a week but not same days off!) When we got back to mine, we just sat in his car for about 20 mins (I didn't want to get out!) talking, laughing, he then kissed me a few times Just before I got out his car I kissed him but felt it was a little awkward haha, then as I was walking to my front door he got out his door, ran over, told me I forgot something and kissed me again

So think things are going pretty well so far and no doubts that he likes me. I've just never really been in a relationship before that felt 'real' or like I was really cared about or where we were both crazy about each other. My ex was always unhappy about something so was rare to really have a laugh with him for longer than 5 mins. I don't even think I connected with him in the way I feel I am with this guy. To be honest I'm more scared now than anything never having done this stuff before, this guy wants to take me out, treat me well, constantly make me laugh. I don't think anyone's ever seemed this interested and not just after one thing. I've had the biggest smile on my face all day today and I feel like I'm at school with a massive crush!

Any advice on making relationships work even when you're scared? I know I should just be honest about everything. I think I'm most scared about getting intimate as I've barely any experience and suppose I'm not the most confident about my body, even when we're kissing he'll have his hands on my neck or face which feels great but I just didn't really know what to do with mine!?
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 22nd 2011, 07:54 PM

Take it one day at a time, dont rush and just enjoy yourself.
   
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Re: Met someone last night. What to do now? - November 22nd 2011, 10:31 PM

New relationships will make you nervous, but that will go away once you are around him more and get more comfortable. There's nothing to be afraid of, he obviously really likes you. Just take it one day at a time as the above poster said and enjoy your new relationship


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