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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Algernon Offline
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Arrow We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:15 AM

I know I made a thread last night about the situation, but more news.

I came to pick up my things today, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if he was going to come out or if he would send one of the roomies out... So I went with my sister for support. I called and told him I was outside. He came out with my things. Once I got my things It got quiet and we stood there.

I said "So now what?" He said "I don't know." I started talking to him. I told him I was very sorry and started naming all the things. I told him I wish I never would have done it and he said, "I wish you wouldn't have either." We talked about a few things but the whole time he looked very hurt. I asked him if he loved me and he said "Of course I still love you. But right now it's you and it's me, not us." I told him It didn't have to be like this and if there was anyway we could be friends or more. He said he didn't know what he wanted right now.

I asked if worked on ourselves, and in the future things were different if he would want to get back together. He said, "that would be nice." He told me that he wouldn't delete my number and I asked if he ever wanted me to call him again. He said he would call me and said he said "I promise I will call you in less than 4 or 5 months."

I think he just needs time and both of us need to get our lives together... But doesn't it sound like he wants things to work out later? He said he still loved me and that he thinks about me. We miss having sex with each other... At one point during the conversation he literally started crying. He tried so hard not to but it just didn't work. I cried a lot of the time too.

I also asked if I could have his hand because I needed to tell him something. I started crying and said, "I just want to say I'm so so sorry for ever slapping you. I promise and I swear I will never do it again, I don't know what led me to do so. I stopped drinking just in case it was the alcohol, and I've been working on my heart. I just need you to believe me when I say I'll never do it again. I've never regretted doing something more in my life than slapping you." He shook his head that he believed me and I let go of his hand. I told him that I don't want that to be the one thing the stops him from thinking of getting back together in the future.

Sorry this is so long.

Help... What do you guys think about this?


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Re: We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
I told him I wish I never would have done it and he said, "I wish you wouldn't have either."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
I asked him if he loved me and he said "Of course I still love you. But right now it's you and it's me, not us." I told him It didn't have to be like this and if there was anyway we could be friends or more. He said he didn't know what he wanted right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
I asked if worked on ourselves, and in the future things were different if he would want to get back together. He said, "that would be nice." He told me that he wouldn't delete my number and I asked if he ever wanted me to call him again. He said he would call me and said he said "I promise I will call you in less than 4 or 5 months."

All of this shows me that he does still love you, but due to what happened he is reconsidering whether you two actually work well together or not. Giving him time is essential so he can gather his thoughts and so you can both work on things. Since he said "that would be nice" when you asked if you could get back together, that does show that he hopes things could get better and work out later. However who knows what will happen in these >4-5 months before he calls and you talk again.


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Re: We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:27 AM

Honestly, it doesn't sound like something you guys are going to be able to move on from. I wouldn't get your hopes up about having a future with him. Sometimes "sorry" just isn't enough
   
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Re: We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Maloo View Post
Honestly, it doesn't sound like something you guys are going to be able to move on from. I wouldn't get your hopes up about having a future with him. Sometimes "sorry" just isn't enough
To me, when we talked it did sound like we would be able to with time... Why do you think otherwise?


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Re: We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:38 AM

I can tell that he still loves you, and that in time he may want to work things out. However, I agree with Lissa that I wouldn't your hopes up. 4-5 months is a long time, and he could very easily move on from the relationship after that long once he's figured things out. Just take things day by day, and let him come to you when he's ready to talk.











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Re: We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:42 AM

I think you said what you wanted to say EXACTLY right. You did all you could, and right now all you can do is wait. To me, it sounds like you both still love each other very much, and I hope that you to do get back together in the future, because a love like this is hard to find. For now, don't think that its over, but don't think that the relationship is still there. Just live life and wait. PM me anytime!


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Re: We Talked... Help? - November 24th 2011, 01:54 AM

I have my view on it because I'm a realist, which people usually take as pessimism. But I look at things realistically, and what happened between you guys was major, and most people can't look past something like that.
   
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