Non-PG13: BOYFRIEND AND PORN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LiveLifeFull.]

heres the problem


My boyfriend watches porn not all the time though every now and then sometime it is even once every few month but when he does this i get like a jealousy feeling, like im not good enough when we have sex. or he thinks their hot ? or just the thought of him master-baiting over this ?

does he watch it to masterbait over these woman ? or just because he is horny ? he didnt tell me he was watching it i found it in his history and sometimes i can give a real good blow job it depends what mood im in

when i aint in the mood and i do it anyway to keep him happy i dont do it my best and he says put more effort into or "watch someone giving a bj online" it makes me feel not good enough

[Aletheia*]

I know I'm not a guy, both both my boyfriend and I watch porn. Not together, though we have in the past. To me, I do it just to masturbate to achieve an orgasm when I'm feeling a bit "happy" so to speak. I watch porn quite frequently too, as does my boyfriend when we're not together. It doesn't mean you're not good enough, or that he's into these woman. Porn isn't even a real depiction of what sex really is. You have to understand; they're just actors and are doing that for money. They aren't real people, and though the sex is real, porn means nothing to most people. There is no reason to feel insecure because of it. Many guys watch porn just to achieve what porn is there for: an orgasm.

[LiveLifeFull.]

Ok Thankyou, i just felt like these women was prettier than me ? their parts looked better than mine or he found them sexy ? and it was really getting me down thankyou for your advice xx

[Maloo]

I would definitely try to control the jealousy feelings, because porn means nothing. It's just a visual aid to help you get off, and people do it because getting off feels good.

[LiveLifeFull.]

yes true, i feel it because i have low self esteem and these porn woman are so pretty then i look at myself in mirror and think why dont i look like people on the telly !

[Shawn K.]

Originally Posted by Zelophobia

I know I'm not a guy, both both my boyfriend and I watch porn. Not together, though we have in the past. To me, I do it just to masturbate to achieve an orgasm when I'm feeling a bit "happy" so to speak. I watch porn quite frequently too, as does my boyfriend when we're not together. It doesn't mean you're not good enough, or that he's into these woman. Porn isn't even a real depiction of what sex really is. You have to understand; they're just actors and are doing that for money. They aren't real people, and though the sex is real, porn means nothing to most people. There is no reason to feel insecure because of it. Many guys watch porn just to achieve what porn is there for: an orgasm.

I'm not allowed to watch porn to beat off to. My Dad and uncle specifically told me that I should excersise my ability to fantasize rather than watching some over done super nasty movie, because it was gonna be a big disappointment when I do have sex. They gave me some magazines and some dirty stories but that's it.

I have friends that watch porn, some have girlfriends. My cousin is 22 and has a girlfriend. He watches porn too. All of them say the only reason they watch it is to "get off".

And of course my friends have shown me porn. And of course I got off, but honestly I prefer using my imagination...porn gets me too excited to fast.

[Brandon]

I wrote a blog about this that explains in detailed information why watching porn is nothing serious. Here's the blog:

Hello, my name is Lisa and I'll be interviewing a very interesting young man by the name of Brandon. Today, we will be talking about that lovely topic...pornography. Firstly, when did you get into pornography?

Well, I was about eight years old when my, quite possibly, first best friend introduced me to pornography. I went over to his house one day and he introduced me to lesbian pornography. There wasn't any videos, it was just a webpage that contained naked women on it but it was censored. I wanted to see what was behind those black boxes and stars, so pornography peaked my interest. And it turns out that it was more entertaining than I thought. But then I found that you could watch videos...and that's when my pornography use skyrocketed. Ever since then, I've been watching porn.

I gotta ask the question: Have you ever been caught looking at pornography by any friends and/or family members?

Oh, absolutely. Probably the most significant time was when I fell asleep watching pornography. I couldn't get myself out of that one. But my sister, of all people, has caught me watching pornography, among other sexual things that I'm not willing to talk about, the most. She probably knows me more than I do. As for my friends, I got nothing to hide. We don't keep secrets, really.

Okay, so you've been watching porn since you were 8 years old, and you've actually known about sex since you were around six years old. You have quite the experience with watching pornography. But the real big question that I have for you is...just how much has pornography affected you?

I'm not going to lie to you Lisa, I used to have a real problem with pornography. At my peak, I was watching pornography 8-10 times a day. I can't say that I'm not proud of myself. Pornography became an addiction, and hardly any addiction is healthy for you. At the same time, I'm the kind of person who doesn't do drugs, never have and never will, I don't smoke cigarettes or chew tobacco, and I don't drink alcohol. Those just aren't my thing. I drink a serious amount of Coke, but that's as far as I go. That kind of limits how I'm able to deal with stress. Yoga never really interested me, though I would like to try it more often, and so watching pornography became a method of dealing with my stress. So if you think about it, my situation isn't all that bad. I was addicted to pornography and still addicted to pornography, but I think that it was a necessary sacrifice.

I think that you made a good choice. Regardless of it being your effective way to cope with stress, what kind of effect did it have your views on women?

There have been people who specifically blaming video games as the cause of violent behavior. Back when those kids went on a killing spree after they played Grand Theft Auto IV, the incident really spiked debate on violence; do video games lead to violence, are children's morals and ethics at stake, etc. However, I've done some research and haven't found any statistical evidence that says video games specifically leads to violence. I've actually read in some places that video games actually decrease violence. However, I don't have that evidence with me right now. My point being is that you can't just point the finger at pornography. Yes, their is pornography that explicitly demoralizes women, but I don't think that pornography is completely responsible. I also think it's the movie industry, magazines, songs, or anything that attracts society. I ultimately believe that society, in general, is responsible for demoralizing women. If you're going to point the finger at anyone, point your finger at society. The reason being is because pornography is a thriving business, and will probably continue to be a thriving business until the end of mankind. Pornography thrives because society says it does. If it wasn't for society, pornography wouldn't be a profitable business. Because let's face the facts: if you spend more money on the production of a porn film and yet make no profit, then it's bad business. So as long as society uses pornography, then it will remain accessible to the public. Pornography film makers are just doing their job; they're giving people what they want. Otherwise, pornography wouldn't even exist.

I have one question from one of our readers that she'd appreciate an answer from you. Betsy from Nebraska asked "my boyfriend watches porn. How can I get him to stop watching pornography?"

Getting him to stop watching pornography is exactly what you don't want to do in a relationship. Of all the years that I've been watching pornography, it isn't as bad as women think it is when you think in the right perspective. Some women have even went a long way to say that watching pornography is actually considered cheating, but I can actually tell you that watching pornography is no different than fantasizing about a celebrity in a movie. How often do you hear girls/women these days talk about those Twilight actors?

Haha! I hear about them a lot. Twilight is a very popular movie series.

Exactly. The only difference between a celebrity in a movie and a porn star in a movie is that one is clothed and the other one isn't. You know what would happen if Edward and Bella made a sex tape? Not only would it destroy their career, but it would, quite possibly, make it more famous than the Tommy and Pamela Anderson sex tape. You could probably ask any woman if she'd want to see her favorite sexy actor/actress in the nude and I can almost guarantee you that they'd say yes. The more attractive they are, the more people are interested. Pamela Anderson and even, hell, Paris Hilton's sex tape is pretty popular. But how many people know that Colin Farrell has a sex tape too? So if a woman has a boyfriend but yet she's a "fan" of Edward from Twilight, is it fair to say that she's more attracted to him than her own boyfriend? No! Because she would say that "it's not like that". When guys watch pornography, it's a different world. Well, porn is not like that either. We could probably name more actors in movies than we can porn stars, and that's because we don't take a personal interest in the actors/actresses. We're all about the content. It's not necessarily about who's in it, it's about what the movie contains. If your boyfriend watched the same porn video over and over again, he still probably wouldn't be able to tell you the actresses name because he's not interested in the woman, he's interested in what she does. And because of this, pornography is actually a fantastic way to know about your significant other. Not only should you NOT tell him to stop watching porn, you should tell him to watch porn more often with you around. If you and him watch porn together, you'll get a better idea of what turns him on. Many couples watch pornography together before engaging in sexual intercourse because it helps spice up the sex life. It's a proven fact. And let's face it...men think about sex almost twice as much as women do. We think about sex more often than women, and unless you're willing to have sex with a man when you're not in the mood, it actually benefits you too. He can be satisfied unTIL you're in the mood. And besides, even if pornography was an unhealthy thing to do, you shouldn't force anyone to do something that they don't want to do. We all want some sort of freedom to be able to choose what we want to do; and when we don't, we feel uncomfortable. Relationships are about compromises and understanding. Porn isn't meant to be taken personally, it's for entertainment purposes only.

Thanks for the interview Brandon. If you'd like to ask Brandon a question, please comment him in this blog. Thanks for reading.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Speaking on behalf of my boyfriend, I know he watches porn quite often & he does masturbate to it.

[FillingWithHope]

Don't worry about it. All men watch porn, it just kind of relaxes them and lets them do their time by theirselfs without always having to go to their girlfriend when they feel horny. My boyfriend will watch it once in a while and I don't care if he needs to do something he needs to do something.

[2fast4you]

As a male, who does watch porn, I believe it's normal. Most men even when married watch some kind of porn. And honestly if you haven't seen porn before you must be living a sheltered life.

[LeapOfFayth]

Originally Posted by LiveLifeFull.

it makes me feel not good enough

I know this has nothing to do with your question but I thought I would ask.Have you brought up to your boyfriend that he's making you feel inadequate by telling you you're not doing a good enough job? In a healthy adult relationship (which I'm assuming this is since you're both doing adult things) one person should never make the other person feel like they aren't good enough on purpose. I'm not saying he's doing it on purpose, but let him know that what he said has hurt you.
Performing oral on someone else puts you in a vulnerable position and is also kind of a selfless act from you to the other person. He should be appreciative whether or not you did the best job in the world, especially when you don't even want to be doing it!

To answer your actual question though, like everyone else has said porn means nothing to guys. It's like watching an action movie, it's just a visual aid to help us along. Almost every guy watches it, and a lot of girls do too.

[Nicole!]

Most guys do watch porn, and its mostly because they can be horny pretty often, and it can happen when their girlfriends aren't around. I doubt its because he doesn't think you are good enough, its just him satisfying himself when you can be with him.
If it is bothering you though, then it doesn't hurt to bring it up with him and talk about it a bit. Maybe hearing from him that you are good enough and it is nothing will help put your mind to rest.

[how.we.operate.]

Okay well a lot of guys watch porn...it is completely normal.
My boyfriend watches porn and we've even talked about it. He doesn't really watch it as much as he used to, but he still will. One thing I do have to say is it sometimes helps because well um...guys think about sex often.

In terms of your boyfriend, why not talk to him about it? Ask him why he watches and just discuss it. You shouldn't be mad at him for it...I personally think that guys watch porn to fulfill their needs so that they don't have to constantly bug their girlfriends. Hear him out (without getting mad) before you judge.