Separation Anxiety

[Smitten]

Writing this thread makes me feel... uneasy, as I have always kept this to myself.

HOWEVER, it now comes to the point where I can't ignore it anymore - it's negatively affecting my life.

In relationships, I get separation anxiety - I get it bad, really bad.

I always want to be in physical contact with them - not to the point where I am balling tears or anything, but to the point where it is an emotional nuisance.
Even when she get's up to use the bathroom at a restaurant - I feel a fleeting sense of panic. If she leaves the room when we are hanging out with friends - the same feeling - a sudden rush of "panicky" feelings that I desperately try to ignore creeps in.

Now there are days like today where my emotions are completely out of check.

I went to the gym this morning in an attempt to release some energy and it usually helps, but today... UGH.

I need to have her physically in my arms to quell this. It's the only thing that works.

Now, besides this overwhelming feeling of NEED, Paranoid thoughts that I know to be completely illogical start setting in when she is not only out of reach, but out of contact.

This is annoying.

Very annoying, and I want it to stop.

SO - The question is - how does one cope with separation anxiety when simply ignoring it and waiting for it to pass the next time you see her becomes an unbearable torture?

I do my best not to bother her about it, as a matter of fact - she does not even know. No one does.

I hide it the best I can, but damn do I become a total short fused asshole to everyone in my immediate area when it get's to the point it is at now.

The funny part? my mood completely does a 180 if she shows up. I am instantly cured of all ill feelings and my temperament skyrockets to the positive nearly instantaneously.


I feel like a total heroin addict.

Words of wisdom please.

[Quartet]

So strange you are having this problem, I'm having the exact same issue currently!

I actually threw up the other day because I felt so terribly. I didn't even know that's what was happening, I knew I missed my fiance, but I didn't think I'd make myself sick because of it. He's away until tomorrow, but the last 7 days have been terrible for me.

If I had a solution, I'd tell you...

[MY NAME IS ERIN]

I KINDA KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I FEEL THE SAME WAY, JUST NOT AS EXTEREME. I THINK THE BEST WAY TO START GETTING OVER YOUR ANXIETY IS TO START SMALL. TRY BEING AWAY FROM HER FOR SMALL PERIODS OF TIME. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED TELLING YOUR GIRLFRIEND ABOUT THE WAY YOU'RE FEELING? MAYBE SHE CAN HELP AS WELL. ALSO, TRY GETTING YOUR MIND OFF OF IT. WHEN YOU AREN'T AROUND YOUR GIRLFRIEND, TRY TEXTING A FRIEND OR EVEN LISTENING TO SOME MUSIC JUST TO GET YOUR MIND OFF OF HER FOR A BIT. IN MY OPINION, THE WAY YOU'RE FEELING IS NORMAL. YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP SO YOU WANT TO BE WITH THAT PERSON. I THINK IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL

GOOD LUCK!! ^_^

[Hollifire]

Have you had problems with abandonment issues in the past? Or had another girlfriend just up and disappear without any warning? I feel like you care so much for your girlfriend, that if she's not with you something may happen to her or that you'll never see her again. Thus making you want to be near her at all times, always making sure you know who's she with, if she's safe & that if you need her at anytime, she's right there. I strongly suggest you talk to your girlfriend about this. I know it's hard to open up but since it involves her, maybe she can do something to help you out. Communication is key to any healthy relationship. I hope you start feeling better (:

[Smitten]

Thank's for the replies.
"I feel like you care so much for your girlfriend, that if she's not with you something may happen to her or that you'll never see her again."
This is part of it - a big part.

As for the other suggestions - what I usually do is distract myself, but it's always there... that deep feeling of UGH! How I wish my beloved was by my side.

[Hollifire]

It's obviously good that you care so deeply for your girlfriend, just shows how much she means to you. You just want to be careful and not be too needy and smother her. She still needs to feel independent & that she can do whatever she wants without you getting upset. Since she knows none of this, she probably doesn't even think anything wouldm bother you. It's still a really good idea to talk to her about it. If you can't do it directly, maybe write her a letter and give it to her and then discuss it afterwards? I know once you talk to her about all of this, you'll feel a million times better & figure out a way to handle your emotions in a healthier manner.