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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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heather_tate19 Offline
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Talking Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 02:01 AM

Everyone's heard of it, everyone's done it and a lot of people have been in it.

What I'm wondering, is if someone is in the friend zone for you, what would it take to get out?

for me, as a girl, if a guy was in my friend zone, all he would need to do is show interest and show that he really cares about me, and understands me.
   
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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 03:14 AM

Same. It really doesn't take much to win me over. I'm just not too picky.


1.)My first and middle initials spell "it".
2.)My first and last initials spell "is".
3.)My first, middle, and last initials all spell "its".
4.)Say my first name, then my middle initial. Ian-T sounds like TNT.
BOOM!
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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 03:34 AM

See, this is where I get confused about what the "friend zone" actually means. I mean, there are some friends that I have been willing to date, and there are many friends that I haven't been willing to date. I think it's too simplistic to say, "If they showed interest and that they cared, they'd be out of the friend zone." If someone is in the "friend zone" as I understand it, then there's nothing they can really say or do to get out of the "friend zone." There's something fundamentally lacking in them... maybe I'm not attracted to them, or it would just feel "weird" if we dated. They haven't necessarily done anything wrong (or failed to do something right)... it's all about my mindset, and once I've determined what kind of a person someone is, it's next to impossible to see them differently. Some friends have always had that "dateability" aspect (ex. my current boyfriend), and some friends have never had it. It's not really a conscious process of deciding who has a chance and who doesn't, though, so if I don't consciously decide who's in the "friend zone" and who isn't, then how can I consciously decide who can come out of the "friend zone" and who can't?





   
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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 05:43 AM

I agree with that. If I find them attractive, then they have a better chance. If they make me smile and I can feel comfortable, then I can do that.
   
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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 07:31 AM

This thread is full of lies.

It honestly not as simple as just being nice and showing you care and showing interest. Most guys who are friendzoned DO exactly that. If it was that simple, there would be no such thing as a friend zone.

It's not something you can just consciously decide. Any more than you can consciously decide to just be attracted to someone. If only.


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But I don’t seem to have the parts to build them.
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end, for I am not prepared.
I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human.





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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 10:23 AM

Honestly I didn't date any of my guy friends in the past and I ever rejected two who confessed that they liked me. It's not that they did anything wrong or they're not good enough, it's just I had no attraction or that kind of intimate intention towards my own friends.
In fact, they're really nice guys, caring and those who take relationship seriously and not just for fun. I don't know why but I ended up dating and eventually had relationships with guys who had different friends circle from mine.

Even before I had my relationship with my fiance in the past, he's not the guy who I hung out with everyday or who was in my so called "friend zone". We had different friends and I found him interesting; I was the one who talked to him first. Seriously I never thought that he was interested in me at all or anything. We really never had that "friend zone" moment and all of a sudden we just started to text and talked intensely, got to know each other and became close.

So from what I've been through in the past, for me personally, even though a guy in my "friend zone" might be nice, caring and understanding, when I just saw him as a friend then that's it. I just couldn't date a guy who I didn't feel any connection or chemistry with.


Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. - Alexander Smith

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto




   
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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 08:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTank77 View Post
This thread is full of lies.

It honestly not as simple as just being nice and showing you care and showing interest. Most guys who are friendzoned DO exactly that. If it was that simple, there would be no such thing as a friend zone.

It's not something you can just consciously decide. Any more than you can consciously decide to just be attracted to someone. If only.
so... apart from calling me a liar (which I most certainly am not)- I guess we can conclude that this is a more complicated process?

I've thought long and hard about this topic, and those are the points that I have come up with- that will work for me at least:
-someone who takes care of themselves
-someone who cares about me and can tell me anything (comes with the friend part)
-someone who is interested in me, tells me, and puts in a little effort to show me

I guess the same isn't for you though, if one of your friends who was a girl said that she liked you, that wouldn't be enough for you to want to date her, then?

so the conclusion is: there is no general way to get out of the friend zone - I agree. So the best way to stay out of the friend zone is to not be in the friend zone to begin with?

However, the circumstances to change that are different with every girl- personally, the guys friends I keep in touch with are the ones I would be willing to date if any of them fall for me, but I can also be friends with them if they like someone else.

this is a complicated thought...there really is no simple general answer, is there?
   
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Re: Friendzone - April 15th 2012, 08:30 PM

There is nothing you can do to get out of my friendzone. Once you get there you stay there, I'm just being honest. When I first see you the first 5 mins I meet you I will either put you in the dateable zone or in the friendzone and that is how it general works for women.


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Re: Friendzone - April 16th 2012, 11:18 PM

Once you're in the friendzone, you're stuck. Nothing is really going to get you out.

For me, it's not as simple as someone who is nice to me and interested in me. Everyone who I have friendzoned has been nice. I don't stay friends with people who are jerks. And many of the people I have friendzoned have had obvious crushes on me.

Though they do overlap, I look for different qualities in potential sexual/romantic partners than in regular friends. Knowing I want to friendzone someone is very instinctive. It's just the instinct that helps me filter out partners, only with people who happen to be friends instead of acquaintances. If I have friendzoned someone, it's for a reason. It means I don't find them attractive in the way I need to for someone to be a sexual/romantic partner. Nothing is going to change that. No matter how much interest they show.


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"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where-"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

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Last edited by DanceCommander; April 16th 2012 at 11:28 PM.
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