[razors_and_rosary]

Voted: 3 years or more.
For most of my time in primary school I was terribly unpopular. By the time I was in the last year of that particular Key Stage of hell, I could count my friends on one hand. To then subtract the friends that didn't attend my school, I'd have to narrow it down to one person, half of the time. So I was bullied an awful lot, by literally everybody in my year and the year below at some point at the very least.
I like to think that I'm now over it, but for two years after leaving primary school the relentless hate affected me.
For the first year I was introverted and timid, always expecting a rebuff. It took me a long time to trust new friends not to stab me in the back, and I had few friends again. I was a walking bullying target, and the bullies took note. Some more bullying followed, though I quickly discovered my new school did not take the lax approach of "Just stay away from them" (as if I wasn't trying to!), as my old school had.
When the second year rolled around I had more friends and was more comfortable around people, but I was still affected. There was a lot of pressure from the teachers, but because of my introversion caused by the bullying, I didn't talk about my feelings. I started developing tactics to diffuse situations, laughing off insults even when they hurt, and if the diffusion failed, I'd try to take the insults upon myself to protect my friends. Plus, when pressure from my friends began later in the year, I didn't stop that either because I valued simple friendship too much.
Nowadays I'm one of those coolly unpopular kids with good mates, someone who appears usually untouchable and always invincible. I still care too much about what they say, especially with homophobia and stereotyping, but other than that I'm alright.
I am four grades smarter than the "class bully" at school. Some kids have taken to calling me "Queen of the Geeks", and I like the nickname. It suggests power.
Wounds heal and fade away. Insults can only hurt you if you let them. Bullies have no power if you give them none. Surround yourself with friends and show them that they are the ones who will always be alone. Their thoughts mean nothing.
xx