[Karaniya]

I've been moderately to severely depressed for the past two to three years. I've gone through CBT and IPT but with no results. I live in the UK, and over here, you can't just go to any psychiatrist you want to if you're under 18. You have to go to your local general practitioner and then they refer you to a child and adolescent psychiatrist. There is only one psychiatrist in my town. Despite me saying to her (around two months after IPT) that I still felt really depressed, she told my parents and my school that I'm no longer depressed and that I'm just being disobedient.

I haven't been to school for months now because of my worsening depression and now that I've finished the last year before my A levels with 0 qualifications, my future is very bleak.

I really don't see how this depression could ever be lifted. Trust me when I say that after three years with this illness, I've tried absolutely everything I can to help myself out of it. The only thing I haven't done is group therapy, and that's because the only place where I can get group therapy for my age is in this psychiatric hospital 1.5 hours drive away, and the hospital won't accept me anyway unless I'm referred there by a local psychiatrist, and as I mentioned, the only psychiatrist in my town doesn't believe I'm depressed.

Group therapy most likely wouldn't work anyway. I don't see how listening to other people talk about their feelings will make me feel better. It will probably make me feel worse, because I'm such an empathic person. Having to watch other people suffer is very saddening for me, so surrounding myself with other mentally ill teenagers doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

I could also go on anti-depressants, but once again, there aren't any doctors near me who could provide me with them.

Does anyone have any advice? Please, don't tell me that it'll go away eventually. I watched a video about a psychiatrist in the US who helps chronically depressed people. He said that chronic depression is just like normal depression, except it lasts for two or more years, so I obviously have it. He also said that some of the patients he sees have been depressed for 20 or 30 years. I can say with complete certainty that if I have to go through another 3 years of this torture, I won't hesitate to kill myself. Enough is enough.