[*weepingstar*]

so i've been clean of eds for a long time. i recently relapsed cutting. i had been clean for like 3 mths. and thats been rough. but i'm dealing.
i was trying on some clothes yesterday. and i tried on this skirt n the same size i've been for several years. and i couldent get it over my theighs!!! so i tried the next size up and it woulden't even zip so i thought whatever the sizes are messed up. then i tried a couple shirts on. n the same size ive been for years. and they didnt fit either!!! i'm so afarid i'm about to relapse!!! last time i ended up n the hospital. i'm not soposto be this size. i hate myself for getting this big.