I could really do with some help, right now? -
March 1st 2011, 08:13 PM
Everything seems to be fucking me off right now - 'friends', family, teachers, even complete fucking strangers who I've never seen before. Apologies in advance for the probably-hostile responses you'll get from me.
Short story; I can no longer be bothered to put up with this shit. Since the summer I've been through various ups and downs, but I've always managed so pull through it (albeit with a lot of help from my trusty razors). Now's a little bit different though.
I'm failing school because I've not gone to most of the days due to depression, my parents just seem to constantly drive me up the fucking wall by ranting about my stupid fucking education and they don't understand me whatsoever. As for my friends, I've either stabbed them in the back or done something else to push them away. EVERYONE is getting to me. There's nobody that I know personally that I feel like I can talk to. I'm very much 'alone'.
I've actually hit the point where I want to die. Shame I lack the courage/means needed to pull a successful suicide off. I'll probably just cover my entire body in gashes or something and hope for the best - I stole this beautiful surgically-sharp knife from my local pharmacy, it's the fucking bomb.
Whenever I get close to anybody, SOMETHING happens to cause them to 'exit' my life. I'm not exaggerating here, it's happened with five people in recent months, all girls of course.
That's basically a summary of my thoughts right now, do with them what you will. You don't actually have to help me, I just felt like ranting a little.