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whoathere Offline
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Age: 22

Posts: 2
Join Date: December 24th 2012

The Issue of Friends - January 5th 2013, 05:56 PM

The past week or so, I've been having extreme moments where I feel isolated and lonely and I don't know why.

I think that I, especially compared to a lot of people, have plenty of friends that I can hang out with but lately I've been having niggling doubts about them and myself.

I cycle through various stages of loneliness:
1. Feel slight doubt about the number of friends I have, question if it is the average number of friends to have
2. Wonder if my friends even like me
3. Wonder if I deserve my friends
4. Wonder if my friends should be my friends
5. Feel guilty for wondering if my friends should be my friends
6. wonder if my friends like to hang out with me
7. proceed to negatively answer myself, "no"
8. feel extremely lonely
9. wonder if my friends would support me in times of crisis
10. obviously, answer myself, "no"
11. feel even more lonely
12. wonder if I'm the problem
13. wonder if it was my past introvertedness which put me in this friendless state
14. feel even more lonely and then a titch regretful

Ad infinitum. I know that I'm just crazy because when I'm feeling relatively happy, I recognize that I have friends and that those friends care about me, but I can't help feeling the way I'm feeling.

It sucks and now I'm in this hyperaware state of whenever I'm going to be alone (since that's when I feel the most depressed)-- I dread going home from school, I dread the weekend where I don't hang out with anybody, I dread my own room, and I dread being with my own thoughts.

I really don't want to feel this way because I hate it and it's likely purposeless. So, what should I do?