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TeenHelp Veteran

Ennui. Offline

Living the dream.

Visitor Messages

Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 10 of 9530
  1. Arabesque- golfing girl.
  2. hocus pocus
    June 5th 2023 01:44 PM - permalink
    hocus pocus
    Happy belated birthday! I totally forgot to VM you the other day. I love your purple profile, by the way. My favorite color.
  3. Arabesque- golfing girl.
    June 3rd 2023 10:39 AM - permalink
    Arabesque- golfing girl.
    Happy Birthday Dez. I hope you have a lovely birthday.
  4. Silvan
    May 25th 2023 08:43 PM - permalink
    Hahah, well, you're often the first person to reply and give great advice in a new thread, so I think that's the kind of domination TeenHelp will approve of ;D :P
    Thank you so much
  5. Silvan
    May 25th 2023 06:48 PM - permalink
    Wow, congrats! That's quite an achievement
    Yeah, I was trying to match my new orange colour, and I thought a summer theme would fit perfectly
  6. Silvan
    May 25th 2023 08:12 AM - permalink
    Thank you very much Wow, you have the most posts out of everyone on the forums?? :O
  7. Silvan
    May 24th 2023 02:01 PM - permalink
    Nope, that's a new thing! I've just been promoted for Design Officer I need to change my profile colours now to match the orange nickname
    How are you doing? I've just noticed you have this funny thingie saying 'Frequent poster' next to your own nickname. At first glance I thought it was a cake.
  8. Arabesque- golfing girl.
  9. Arabesque- golfing girl.
    April 21st 2023 08:28 PM - permalink
    Arabesque- golfing girl.
    Hi Dez, when you feel better, please let me know because I need help with something on th please. Have a lovely weekend. And I'm sorry for bothering you.
  10. Arabesque- golfing girl.
    April 20th 2023 08:15 PM - permalink
    Arabesque- golfing girl.
    I miss talking to you. How are you?

About Me

  • Basics
    Connecticut, USA
    United States
  • About
    About me
    Hey all! My name is Dez, and I am a 26 year old who just graduated with my Masters in Public Health. So I basically just entered the "real world" and have to be an "adult." Ew.

    On any given day if I'm not here you'll find me napping, sitting in therapy, or watching something on Netflix. I'm trying to do this thing called "finding a hobby," so feel free to pass along your favorite books and TV shows.

    I have an interest in sexual health, especially contraceptives, the prevention of sexually transmitted infections as well as HPV and the vaccine in particular. I stand with Planned Parenthood and similar reproductive health organizations. I also have an interest in vaccines.

    I'm still basically trying to figure everything out myself, but feel free to say hello. If I don't answer right away, rest assured that I will when I get a chance! :D


    I became a LiveHelp Operator on December 1, 2011. On January 29, 2012 I changed primaries to HelpLINK Mentor. On April 23, 2012 I became a Self Expression Forum Mod. On October 8, 2012 I became an LGBT+ Forum Mod. On December 1, 2012 I became a Chat Moderator. On February 9, 2013 I became a HelpLINK Moderator. On July 13, 2013 I became a member of the Performance Committee. On August 17 2013, I became an Albums Moderator as well as a member of the Articles Team. On October 13, 2013, I became a Self Harm Forum Mod. On November 16, 2013, I became a member of the Social Networking Team. On December 23, 2013, I became a Social Groups Moderator. On December 23, 2013, I also became a member of the Videos Team. On January 25, 2014, I became a Blogs Moderator. On April 12th, 2014, I became a Project Advisor. On August 31, 2014 I became a member of the newly formed Volunteering Committee. On March 27, 2015 I became a Newsletter Editor. On August 1, 2015 I became part of the Disputes Committee. On August 17, 2015 I became a Forums and Community Officer. On April 30, 2022 I became a Community Team Leader.

    Last updated 5/1/2022
  • Details
    Here for
    Like to help and be helped
    Relationship status
    What's that?
    I'm here, I'm Queer
    Master’s in Public Health
    Covid Contact Tracer
    Zodiac sign
  • Interests
    I don't know anymore.
    Oh, various things.
    The Harry Potter movies, The Day After Tomorrow, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Horton Hears a Who, Repo! The Genetic Opera, The Little Mermaid, Finding Nemo, Finding Dory... I don't watch many movies.
    House M.D., In Plain Sight, Nurse Jackie, Rizzoli & Isles, Hell's Kitchen, Once Upon A Time, Necessary Roughness, Chicago Fire, Justice League, Scrubs, Rick and Morty, Bojack Horseman, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Doctor, The Good Place, The Resident, 9-1-1
    Portal, Portal 2, The Sims 3 and 4, Plague, Rocket League, Golf With Your Friends, Magicka, then your classic board games.
    Anything that's by Jodi Picoult or talks about real life issues or Ellen Hopkins. Fiction books that talk about real world issues, like self harm.
    I don't like sports.
    My Pepere (grandfather) and my cousin Sophia, as well as her two older sisters Alex and Gabby and their mother, Kristy. Also my niece Madison. :)
    Favorite quotes
    The world is round, so the place that may seem like the end, may also be only the beginning.
    Other interests
    Being a mermaid.
    Eating my sister's food.
    Guinea pigs.
    Sexual health and reproductive rights
  • Signature
    Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
    Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
    Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
    'Cause you gotta survive


Total Posts
Visitor Messages
Blog - Rantings of a Mermaid Princess
Helpful Postings
  • Ennui.'s posts have been liked or marked as helpful 3596 times.
General Information
  • Join Date: November 16th 2010
  • Referrals: 8


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View Ennui.'s BlogRecent Entries
Latest Blog Entry

Posted May 17th 2023 at 02:19 AM by Ennui. Comments 1
Posted in Uncategorized
I have been out of the hospital for a little over a month now. Normally I'm at least relatively stable when I get out of the hospital but right now I'm still not doing well at all.

My house is a wreck. I haven't cleaned any of it since before I went into the hospital and it shows. My bathroom is especially embarrassing. It wouldn't be as bad if I was the only one using it, but I have a visiting nurse come into the house to give me my medication and she asks to use the bathroom sometimes....

Posted April 12th 2023 at 07:27 PM by Ennui. Comments 1
Posted in Uncategorized

I attempted suicide again. I have no lasting damage from it and earned myself another hospital stay instead. I was in the regular ER at my local hospital for like 6-7 hours before going to the Acute Behavioral Unit. It's not designed like a psych hospital and is a holding place until you go home or get admitted somewhere else. I had mt own room which was nice but I wasn't allowed plastic utensils and was only allowed finger foods. The one time they did let me use a spoon, I...

Posted March 18th 2023 at 03:49 AM by Ennui. Comments 2
Posted in Uncategorized
I don't know how I am doing right now. My therapist asked me if I needed to go to the hospital and I said no, but I don't know if I really should.

I'm still feeling suicidal and my brain kept on telling me to do it before Texas so I have an excuse not to go. I did get some good news surrounding Texas that made me want to go more. I think I might have fun if this one specific thing happens. I'm still not looking forward to the flight there ore back, but if the one thing I'm excited...

Posted February 17th 2023 at 03:45 AM by Ennui. Comments 1
Posted in Uncategorized
I've been in a spiral lately and it just won't stop.

I might lose my insurance by March 31st. I am on Medicaid but due to my income level and the Covid relief money being taken away, I will lose it. I don't really have money to pay for my own insurance though so I don't know how I am going to be able to continue to get healthcare, do therapy, see my medication prescriber, and get all my medications. It makes me feel hopeless.

I am also losing my job on June 30, which...

Posted October 29th 2022 at 10:56 PM by Ennui. Comments 1
Posted in Uncategorized
I am in IOP and the clinician made me throw out my self harm tools and my means of suicide into the trash outside while on camera. There was no way of lying to her and saying that I did it when I really didn't since it was all done on camera.

But, I did lie to her though. I have other self harm tools I can use, just not the preferred ones. I also have other means of suicide I can use that I didn't throw away. I'm not going to tell her I lied.

I need the safety net...
Recent Comments
I'm sorry you are feeling...
Posted May 18th 2023 at 12:28 AM by Arabesque- golfing girl. Arabesque- golfing girl. is offline
I'm so sorry about all...
Posted April 13th 2023 at 10:53 PM by Arabesque- golfing girl. Arabesque- golfing girl. is offline
If you get hired for...
Posted April 3rd 2023 at 10:29 PM by Resilient Resilient is offline
I'm sorry you are going...
Posted March 18th 2023 at 01:46 PM by Arabesque- golfing girl. Arabesque- golfing girl. is offline
I'm sorry about all...
Posted February 20th 2023 at 09:13 AM by Arabesque- golfing girl. Arabesque- golfing girl. is offline

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