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 TeenHelp Veteran ************* Ennui.
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I miss talking to you.
I hope you are having a wonderful time and we will talk when you get back. -
Thank you so much for your reply in my blog. You are so sweet. How are you?
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Thank you, Dezmaid! 
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Random question, but where do you purchase your guinea pig food? I was at Walmart in the fish aisle the other day to get some water treatment and I saw this new "botanical timothy hay" that looked pretty cool. It had flowers and herbs incorporated in it. I might try some next time my tortoise needs some hay. But it's weird because I'm in the aisle, all excited about botanical timothy hay. Only animal lovers get it.
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Happy Thanksgiving, Dez! Be kind to yourself today. ��
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About Me
- Basics
- Name
- Dez
- Gender
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Pronouns
- She/They
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
- Country
- United States
- About
- About me
- Hey all! My name is Dez, and I am a 26 year old who just graduated with my Masters in Public Health. So I basically just entered the "real world" and have to be an "adult." Ew.
On any given day if I'm not here you'll find me napping, sitting in therapy, or watching something on Netflix. I'm trying to do this thing called "finding a hobby," so feel free to pass along your favorite books and TV shows.
I have an interest in sexual health, especially contraceptives, the prevention of sexually transmitted infections as well as HPV and the vaccine in particular. I stand with Planned Parenthood and similar reproductive health organizations. I also have an interest in vaccines.
I'm still basically trying to figure everything out myself, but feel free to say hello. If I don't answer right away, rest assured that I will when I get a chance! :D
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I became a LiveHelp Operator on December 1, 2011. On January 29, 2012 I changed primaries to HelpLINK Mentor. On April 23, 2012 I became a Self Expression Forum Mod. On October 8, 2012 I became an LGBT+ Forum Mod. On December 1, 2012 I became a Chat Moderator. On February 9, 2013 I became a HelpLINK Moderator. On July 13, 2013 I became a member of the Performance Committee. On August 17 2013, I became an Albums Moderator as well as a member of the Articles Team. On October 13, 2013, I became a Self Harm Forum Mod. On November 16, 2013, I became a member of the Social Networking Team. On December 23, 2013, I became a Social Groups Moderator. On December 23, 2013, I also became a member of the Videos Team. On January 25, 2014, I became a Blogs Moderator. On April 12th, 2014, I became a Project Advisor. On August 31, 2014 I became a member of the newly formed Volunteering Committee. On March 27, 2015 I became a Newsletter Editor. On August 1, 2015 I became part of the Disputes Committee. On August 17, 2015 I became a Forums and Community Officer. On April 30, 2022 I became a Community Team Leader.
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Last updated 5/1/2022
- Details
- Here for
- Like to help and be helped
- Relationship status
- What's that?
- Sexuality
- I'm here, I'm Queer
- Ethnicity
- Caucasian/White
- Education
- Master’s in Public Health
- Occupation
- Covid Contact Tracer
- Politics
- Democrat.
- Religion
- Atheist
- Zodiac sign
- Gemini
- Interests
- Hobbies
- I don't know anymore.
- Music
- Oh, various things.
- Movies
- The Harry Potter movies, The Day After Tomorrow, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Horton Hears a Who, Repo! The Genetic Opera, The Little Mermaid, Finding Nemo, Finding Dory... I don't watch many movies.
- Television
- House M.D., In Plain Sight, Nurse Jackie, Rizzoli & Isles, Hell's Kitchen, Once Upon A Time, Necessary Roughness, Chicago Fire, Justice League, Scrubs, Rick and Morty, Bojack Horseman, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Doctor, The Good Place, The Resident, 9-1-1
- Games
- Portal, Portal 2, The Sims 3 and 4, Plague, Rocket League, Golf With Your Friends, Magicka, then your classic board games.
- Books
- Anything that's by Jodi Picoult or talks about real life issues or Ellen Hopkins. Fiction books that talk about real world issues, like self harm.
- Sports
- I don't like sports.
- Heroes
- My Pepere (grandfather) and my cousin Sophia, as well as her two older sisters Alex and Gabby and their mother, Kristy. Also my niece Madison. :)
- Favorite quotes
- The world is round, so the place that may seem like the end, may also be only the beginning.
- Other interests
- Being a mermaid.
Sleeping.
Eating my sister's food.
Zumba.
Sloths.
Guinea pigs.
Sexual health and reproductive rights
Vaccines
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Signature
- Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Friends
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Blog
View Ennui.'s BlogRecent Entries
Latest Blog Entry
Posted in Uncategorized
I am in IOP and the clinician made me throw out my self harm tools and my means of suicide into the trash outside while on camera. There was no way of lying to her and saying that I did it when I really didn't since it was all done on camera.
But, I did lie to her though. I have other self harm tools I can use, just not the preferred ones. I also have other means of suicide I can use that I didn't throw away. I'm not going to tell her I lied.
I need the safety net...
But, I did lie to her though. I have other self harm tools I can use, just not the preferred ones. I also have other means of suicide I can use that I didn't throw away. I'm not going to tell her I lied.
I need the safety net...
Posted in Uncategorized
I am struggling so badly right now.
My anxiety is through the roof most of the time and I'm having a hard time sitting still. My stomach feels funny and I keep getting a strange feeling in my head. I'm having a hard time sleeping. My chest feels heavy and I'm depressed on top of the anxiety to the point where my motivation to do anything is gone. I still haven't cleaned the guinea pig cage and it's been over a week. I am having a hard time functioning at work and passed some cases...
My anxiety is through the roof most of the time and I'm having a hard time sitting still. My stomach feels funny and I keep getting a strange feeling in my head. I'm having a hard time sleeping. My chest feels heavy and I'm depressed on top of the anxiety to the point where my motivation to do anything is gone. I still haven't cleaned the guinea pig cage and it's been over a week. I am having a hard time functioning at work and passed some cases...
Posted in Uncategorized
9/16/22 - Well, I ended up in the hospital again. As a lot of you probably know, I had been feeling suicidal for a few weeks now. I didn't attempt, but I mentioned to my therapist how I had a job interview and it made me feel more suicidal. She knew I had the means to go through with it and called for the city to do a wellness check on me. I tried convincing her not to by saying how I would be good for another week at least and had plans for the weekend that would keep me alive but she called anyway....
Posted in Uncategorized
I got my suicide method of choice back from my parents. I told them I was ready to have it back and took it back from them. I am hanging on by a thread but I am trying to hold out until at least the date I picked. My therapist and APRN told me to give the suicide method back to my parents but I'm unwilling to do that.
I almost got myself hospitalized by admitting to my APRN how suicidal I am. She said she thinks it would be reasonable for me to go to the hospital and I said I don't...
I almost got myself hospitalized by admitting to my APRN how suicidal I am. She said she thinks it would be reasonable for me to go to the hospital and I said I don't...
Posted in Uncategorized
I thought my job was ending in December but it's really ending between November 15-17th. I thought I had more time.
I'm panicking because that means I'll have to apply for jobs and I'll never find one with this good of a boss and this much flexibility to make my own schedule, AND one where I make this good of money. My therapist said I'd be good for a part-time job but I'm going to have to go full-time if I want to make enough to pay the bills. I don't know if I'll be able to cope...
I'm panicking because that means I'll have to apply for jobs and I'll never find one with this good of a boss and this much flexibility to make my own schedule, AND one where I make this good of money. My therapist said I'd be good for a part-time job but I'm going to have to go full-time if I want to make enough to pay the bills. I don't know if I'll be able to cope...
Recent Comments
Hi Dez, I am so sorry...
I'm here for you Dez....
I'm so sorry you're...
You've always been such...
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