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Unhappy I am lonely - July 14th 2015, 07:25 AM

Hello. I don't know what to do. I want to be with someone, but I am always lonely . I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be with somebody so badly ... Please help me
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Re: I am lonely - July 14th 2015, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by Ryan90 View Post
Hello. I don't know what to do. I want to be with someone, but I am always lonely . I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be with somebody so badly ... Please help me
Hi Ryan!

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so lonely. I know how that feels. I really do. In fact - quite often I am overwhelmed by the feeling and wonder how I'm going to make it through the next few seconds. I literally shake all over. And I have to fight my way through it. Those awful few seconds always pass. But I'm still left feeling alone and hopeless.

FACT IS - there is only ONE WAY to deal with it. And it's not what we want to hear. Someone ELSE is not 'the cure' to our loneliness. The cure lies within US. A person can feel just as we do even if they are literally surrounded by people. There is a saying that I think is very true. "Loneliness is not about being alone. It's about not being known." And very often people who feel lonely share very little about themselves [their true self] when they are with others. And because of that - the loneliness remains. When we DO find to the courage to talk - to be open and honest about who we are - it lets US know that we have self respect. And that self-respect is what keeps us from feeling lonely even when we are alone. That might sound odd. But it's true. And it does something else too. Something just as important. When we have self-respect we are FAR less likely to accept people into our lives that are not good for us. People often have people in their lives just so they can have people in their lives. They don't pick and choose people who might add something positive. They just want someone. Anyone. And the end result is always the same. They are as lonely as ever.

So..... what does this all add up to? IF YOU were your 'best friend' - what would YOU DO with YOU?! How would YOU treat YOU? Where would you go? I say... BE that 'best friend' in your life. I used to avoid doing things that I really liked to do because I would have to do it alone. Like going to the park. Or going for a drive. Or going to a movie. Or going swimming or whatever. I thought it would be embarrassing to be seen alone. And this is especially true when it comes to going somewhere to eat. "Who's that loser eating alone?!", I'd hear people say. Of course - no one ever said anything. It was all in my head. But it was enough to keep ME from enjoying MY life. At least for awhile. I say... get out there and do what YOU like to do. Forget about finding someone to do it with. BE that someone. And as you become more OK with being ALONE you'll find that being alone isn't all that lonely after all. And after awhile - you'll start to see other people who are doing the same thing. There's a whole world out that of people just trying to make the most of THEIR life whether or not someone else is with them. And who knows - maybe you'll want some of them to share in some of the things you are doing.

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Re: I am lonely - July 14th 2015, 03:23 PM

I like what Craig said, about how we look in ourselves to find a way to end loneliness, however, Everyone on this site can be here for you too if you need them
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