cutting: my friends are no help

[SarahKnox9]

Ive been cutting for four weeks now which is relatively new and different. i want to stop before it escalates. i just told my really good friend today and after five minutes of crappy advice she turned to the conversation back to her and her 'boy' problems. I don't know if she is too upset about my hidden troubles or just extremely selfish. i don't have any idea what to do.

[Kryptonight]

I don't think she's selfish, really. I just think she doesn't know how to handle it. Some friends simply don't know how to deal. And even if they do, it's really hard to handle.

Why do you cut yourself?

[SarahKnox9]

it started with rubber bands and just slapping them on my wrists and then it just went from one thing to another. it helps level out sadness to something more bearable. im hoping since its only been a little while i can ween my way off it.

[Kryptonight]

Originally Posted by SarahKnox9

it started with rubber bands and just slapping them on my wrists and then it just went from one thing to another. it helps level out sadness to something more bearable. im hoping since its only been a little while i can ween my way off it.

Have you considered talking to an adult about it? I know it's unlikely that you would want to, but sometimes its the best way. Maybe talking to a different friend? Or stressing it to this one? All I know is that it's damn near impossible to do it by yourself.

[SarahKnox9]

i tried talking to my mom but she literally didn't get it. its hard for her to wrap her mind around hurting yourself because your hurting and frankly im still confused about it myself. i think if my friends don't figure out ignoring its not going to help ill talk to my dad. hes more understanding and has dealt with his fair share of addictive habits.

[RiseFromTheAshes]

I know what you mean. A lot of people don't understand self harm at all so it might be difficult to get the support you need. I'd suggest explaining why you self harm and how it helps you cope to someone who you really trust and is good at listening. That way they should understand where you're coming from better. If you feel uncomfortable explaining you could always just write it out and give it to them or forward them a website dedicated to info on self harm. Maybe check out TH's articles on self harm and whatnot? http://www.teenhelp.org/resources/

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

I'm glad you're reaching out for help now to try and stop the self harming from getting worse. I think that's a really positive step in the right direction and I think you should be proud of yourself for doing so.

Maybe your friend doesn't know a lot about self harm and maybe she's never been through it herself or known someone to go through it and therefore its hard for her to try and understand and relate to what you're going through. Perhaps this is something you could talk to her about and try and help her understand how it is for you. She's your friend and I feel positive in saying she'll want to try and help you her best if she can do. Just remember it can be a tricky conversation for people and it can be hard for people to relate too.

Do you know what causes the urges for you to self harm? I think if you find the underlying reason and work on that, it'll help you in the long run. And if there is something you know of, then remember that we're always here for you. You're not on your own in this and we'll try our best to help and support you as best as we can do. We don't judge you either, we're here to give support.

In the short term try distracting yourself. This can range from doing things like sport and art or doing something like going for a walk, writing down how you're feeling, talking to someone etc. Different things work for different people so its about trying things and finding ones that work and not giving up when something doesn't work. I know it can be frustrating when you keep trying things and they don't work but don't give up!

You can do this, keep your chin up :-)
Jessie