Triggering (SH): Self Harm, Why do I do it?

[Elmrin]

Some thoughts have just been crossing my mind and I just wanted to hear from others,

I sometimes think I may be cutting for attention? I know this is not usually the case, but sometimes I catch myself wondering if I am doing this because I want someone to care?

Now, I am definitely not flaunting my cuts, or scars (I always keep them hidden) and my blades are also hidden, so I leave little evidence of my cutting. But.. When I go to wash my hands, for instance, I might leave a little bit of my cuts exposed just in hopes that someone will see.. I'm ashamed about this. It doesn't feel right. But I still want someone to notice..

Thoughts?

Elm

[Harmonies]

I don't think it is something to be ashamed for. As normal human beings, we need love and attention from everyone around us. You're not an attention seeker, you're just a normal human that also want some love in your life. And probably when we don't get that love, we start to do all other things maybe the extreme ones, in order to make people care about us.
So, basically, don't feel ashamed or even blame yourself because you seem to ask for attention, and because you are a guy. Everyone needs love and attention!

With me, i cut because i don't feel like i can make anyone in this world proud of me. I just think that i have done so many horrible and dissapointing things in my life, therefore i should be punished and this is one of the ways to punish myself for not being good enough.

By the way, you can DM me if you need a talk

[Palmolive]

Hello

Thanks for coming to us here.

I'm sorry to hear you struggle with self harm. I realise you're not asking for help with the actual self harming but if you do want us to help you with it, please let us know, okay? We won't judge you here.

I think some people do do it for attention in a sense of a cry for help. They want someone to see or find out because they are struggling and want help with it. And I think that's understandable. I don't think bad of you and I would like to think no one else would either. Is there someone you can talk to about it all? I know it can be scary to talk to people about something so personal but I think having someone know and to be there for you might be really beneficial for you. Just a thought.

Like I said, we're always here for you okay? I wish you all the best.

[Elmrin]

Harmonies and Ailurophile,

Thank you both for your replies, they honestly made me feel a lot better!

Harmonies, I'm sorry to hear that you cut My DM is also always open as well, if you want to talk.

Ailurophile, I have been seeing a therapist for close to three months now. She is my outlet, and I know she cares, but it's sometimes still difficult to talk with her about it.

[Ennui.]

It is great that you have your therapist and use her as an outlet but I also do understand how hard it is to open up about things like this. Do you think that it would help to communicate through writing, such as by showing her journal entries or by writing her letters? That way you get out what you want to say without nerves or interruptions getting in the way and you are able to discuss it from there.

[Elmrin]

Epiphany,

Thanks for replying!

I have never actually thought about writing something and then showing it to her.. But that actually sounds like a really good idea! It will be a lot less stressful, I think. Thanks for the idea!

[Sophrosyne]

Hey,

When I saw a psychologist, I would write out letters each week to show her and put things that I didn't want to verbally say in them. It always really helped me when I did that as it was so much easier to write it so I didn't start crying trying to say it. Just an added thought from Dez's idea.

Some people do cut for attention, and others don't. I also think every person that does cut, or at least most of them, have this small part of them that wants someone to notice and offer them help. I have seen a few people that cut for attention at my school and they walk around basically showing it to everybody and making a big deal about it, even walking up to people and shoving it in their face which I didn't particularly want to see. By the sounds of it, you don't do it for attention otherwise you wouldn't be hiding it so well. Some people who do it for attention do hide it, but at every opportunity try and make some one notice, which I have also seen at my school.

As Jessie said, if you ever wanted advice with your self harm you are always welcome to ask, we won't judge you in anyway about it. We just want what's best for you.

Take care.

[world_changer]

Hey,

As people have already said we all need love and attention. When I used to self-harm years ago, I would do the same thing as you. I wanted people to notice, but I didn't want to tell them myself. I also overall, hid them and my stuff. In a way, it's sort of like a cry for help. When we are suffering, we need more than one person to go too. So in away, maybe you are trying to find more people that you can seek out?

How many people do you feel comfortable talking about self-harm with? I know it's never an easy topic but I think if you have a solid group of support, that you can get through this. Keep seeing you counselor and being open with her. Counselors are great people to talk things out with, and I'm glad you feel comfortable with yours.

If you ever want to chat, you can message me.
Stay Strong. <3

[Elmrin]

Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to say thanks for all the replies. I'm completely overwhelmed with all the support! I never thought so many people would give their input and advice.