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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
amimad? Offline
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Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - February 18th 2010, 08:09 PM

I'm 15, and almost 16. I think I'm pretty shallow, and I only have an attraction to beautiful girls. I tend to try and avoid the overweight, more unattractive girls, just so I'm not seen with them. I know it's wrong, and I know 'beauty is only skin deep,' but I still can't help it.

I'm scared what others think.
I can't image myself with someone ugly/overweight, for some reason.

Any tips on how to become less 'shallow'.
I know beautiful girls are a good thing, but half the ones I've dated are horrible people, and not near my type.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - February 18th 2010, 09:26 PM

Hey there. While it is important to be physically attracted to the person you are seeing, that's definitely not all of what a relationship is about. You have to also be attracted to someone's personality and who they are on the inside. Maybe try going out with some girls you get along with based on who they are as a person instead of their looks? Just give it a try once in a while. You might be surprised.

I don't think it's necessarily that you have an addiction to pretty girls. A lot of people choose who they initially want to be in a relationship with based on looks, but in the long run it's who you are compatible with on a more personal level.

Just keep meeting new people and try going out with girls that have personalities you like.

<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - February 19th 2010, 01:12 PM

I'm guessing you're a guy?¿ If I'm right, don't worry...most teenage guys are exactly the same (and teenage girls for that matter...puberty is a cruel, cruel time. ) Liek Emily said, a lot of us tend to be initially attracted to people by their looks which is totally understandable. i wouldn't worry about it, it doesn't mean you're especially shallow, or 'addicted' to pretty girls.
I can't really think of any tips to become less shallow...hopefulyl withoiut sounding patronising, you'll probably find things will get a little different as you get older...they did for me and a lot of other people I know, anyway. Often spending time with someone who you wouldn't initially consider very attractive and getting to know them can make them seem more attractive and soon you'd forget you ever found them unnattractive in the first place...


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - February 19th 2010, 06:16 PM

Hi mate, I'd say give yourself some time. You're only 15! That's the age where raging hormones kick it and all that. I guess it's only natural that you're only attracted to good looking people. Overtime, as you begin to meet more people and have more experiences, your views and the things that attract you may change. Try to meet a variety of people and make as many friends as possible. The fact that you're concerned about your shallowness and that you find half of the attractive girls you've dated horrible already shows that you're a deep person who is not only going for looks. So relax and don't worry too much about it! You'll be fine.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - February 19th 2010, 06:30 PM

There are many guys out there like you. It's funny though because It seems like ugly guys only like really beautiful almost fake looking women. It's a mystery. Probably is... Some of these girls don't "feel" good when you hold them, do other things with them. The "overweight" girls sometimes are more fun. It's just seems like It would be a little better to feel a "real" girl?

That's all I really can say to you. Just be nice to the girls that like you, even if you don't like them. Oh, and It's possible if you have extremely high expectations... Many people end up alone because of this.


Geek? Nerd? More like intellectual badass.

"You ran through Africa, and Asia, and Indonesia.. And now I've found you, and I love you. I want to know your name."
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - March 5th 2010, 06:18 AM

i was the same way with my guys. i only slept with the thin tall guys. the only times i was with someone ugly or fat was when they forced themselves on me, or when i was drunk or fucked up on some drug. im 18 and i have slept with 31 guys, all but 3 or 4 ugly or fat. after i went into rehab, i found that looks do not matter. the hottest guys were the ones that cared more about themselves, and didnt think twice before they would hit me. needless to say, i didnt think twice before i hit them back. to me, the attractive guys have ugly personalities. looks fade over time; skin gets wrinkly, hair turns gray and falls out in some cases, and teeth deteriorate. personality is for life. i found a guy, and he may not have the best teeth, or shave that damn beard that keeps dropping scraggly hairs all over the place makin me gag when i clean, but he is a hard working, sweet guy that knows what hard work is, and knows how to have fun and make me happy, and that is why i moved in with him, and may possibly be marrying him this summer. :}


But with you, I can let my hair down. I can say anything crazy! I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground. With nothing but a T-shirt on, I never felt so beautiful, Baby, as I do now..
Now that I'm with you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - March 5th 2010, 02:18 PM

At your age it's normal. Most people grow out of it.
Like after you are with so many people you will notice that not everyone is beautiful on the inside as well as out.
You'll figure it out.
So for now, just try not to block out nice girls that may not be the best looking.
And stop worrying about what other people think.


I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - March 5th 2010, 02:21 PM

Nothing wrong with that AT ALL mate.
Theres always something which attracts you at first to want to get to know someone even more, in that way.
You arent shallow, if that was the case then everybody is. Its just what you prefer. Beautiful to you might not be beautiful to somebody else. I do like tall, thin (not too thin) brunette girls who I consider beautiful with a nice smile and eyes, some people however prefer larger women, to them, they are beautiful. Nothing wrong at all, its just what you prefer.
   
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - March 17th 2010, 05:25 PM

I think it's just your preference. People tend to try and categorize people's looks into certain groups, such as "cheerleaders" tend to be "hot". I find them repulsive and would never consider dating one JUST BECAUSE she's a cheerleader. But that's my preference.

I find it a little unfair that you are stereotyping teenage guys to like "hot" girls, although it is probably fairly true.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - March 19th 2010, 07:54 PM

Yea... like everybody has said, usually the "good looking" people have really bad personalities. Not all of them, but in my experience they are few and far between. Have you ever seen those people though that just glow... they may not be perfect or particularly good looking but they are very attractive because of who they are. When looking for a girl to date my advice would be to focus on what comes out of their mouths. Also if you see someone you think is beautiful don't just jump on it. Just listen first. Think about what makes the people you talk to unique, special. Don't worry too much. I think you just need to figure out what you want. It's okay though there's nothing wrong with you. You're pretty normal.


Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream. - A Beautiful Mind

I met Steven October 3rd, 2008. We've been practically inseperable ever since. ♥
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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addiction to beautiful girls, and being shallow. - March 21st 2010, 11:07 PM

It's natural for people to be initially attracted to cute/hot people at first. IF the person is ugly, no offense, but your not going to be attracted to them :P . The trick is to see BEYOND that, and get to know that person better. Talk to the person, hang out, find out if you have something in common. Yes, you can "fall in love" with someone solely on looks, but it never last beyond making out and sex. However, if you DO start talking and getting to know these girls better. MAybe you can find tha one you can love even on the telephone .

I wouldn't think much about this phase. EVERYbody goes though it. just remember to keep talking to the cute girls.


"Life isn't about learning to survive the Storm; It's about learning to Dance in the Rain"
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