Its Time to Achieve my Goal, but I Need Help!!!

[occcoolboy]

hello,

I'm currently a freshmen in college and i've been facing a huge problem in my life. many of my friends went to separate colleges, but i decided to go to a community college because of the costs and health issues. I've been having lots of issues with socializing and making new friends, but heres the most important thing to me. i haven't been in a relationship for over a year and a half (my last relationship was a long distance and it was my first ever relationship).from the long time of being single after the breakup, i decided to go back to finding a girl and being a relationship, but this time a close distance relationship. i don't know any ideas on how to find the right girl for me at all. i really need help on finding the right girl for me. what should i do? i really want to achieve my goals and have a happy life that i once used to have. thank you very much.

[hayleyirock]

If you keep looking, you may find the wrong girl! The best thing to do is not to worry and carry on with your life and then one day, a girl may catch your eye, and one thing could lead to another! Good luck!

[PSY]

I met my fiancé through a Bible study group. =) Sometimes, the best relationships begin as good friendships, so I would focus on making female friends! Joining clubs/organizations at your community college, in your city/neighborhood, etc. can present you with opportunities to meet those new female friends.

[taylalatbh.]

Robin has got it right, you just need to put yourself out there and meet new people. If you go out trying to find 'the one' then you'll probably have a hard time and end up being disappointed. Join some clubs, meet some new people at college and you'll find someone special.

[PureStorm]

Well, having been in 4 different hobby groups where there were ~50% women but none a potential date, I can't agree with ^ . You might find one there, but it's unlikely. And if you aren't looking as a male in this society, you're most likely going to stay single. Men -usually- make the first step and come to women, so advice from [those] women [who it works for] to you will be to stay passive and wait for it to happen, because it works for them. But to many men who do this, it just won't happen. I know 2 really decent guys, 27 and 28 years old now, they're probably a little better looking than I. I've known them for years, they're not awkward, not around women either. But they are waiting for a good opportunity to show itself, they've done so for many years. They refuse to become active and stay single. I'd still have a really shitty dating life if I hadn't become active 2-3 years ago.

I say go look for her. By that I don't mean stalking everybody I mean finding someone interesting by striking up casual conversations with random people who look interesting, not limited to women. If you learn to do this, opportunities will show themselves if it clicks.
It takes some practice to get them interested in continuing the conversation, though.

Wishing you the success you seek,
R.

[SpecterH]

Chances are, if you actively look for someone, you won't find anyone too special. It'll be frustrating at times, because it'll seem like you're never going to find someone special to be with.

To combat this, it's important for you to be comfortable with where you are now - being single. I think this is something that a lot of people forget. While having someone in your life is nice, it's important for you to be completely comfortable with being single. Once this happens, only then will you be able to appreciate a meaningful relationship.

I want to echo the above users who have encouraged you to meet people. In college and university, the opportunities to meet new people are countless - take advantage of this. Join clubs and other activities that interest you. Not only will this provide you with the opportunity to meet a lot of new people, but these people will also share at least one similar interest.

All in all, college is about broadening your horizons. Take this time to grow and develop as an individual; this is really important. During college, most people change a lot - and I encourage you to do the same. Explore your interests, meet new people, and take advantage of all of the opportunities that college has to offer. While getting an awesome education is extremely important, it's only a small part of the value that college has to offer. Have an open mind about everything and don't be afraid to try new things.

Good luck.