TeenHelp - Triggering: I {15f} am dating a 25m. I don't know what to do.

TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)

- Rape and Abuse (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/)

- - Triggering: I {15f} am dating a 25m. I don't know what to do. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/t164255-i-%7B15f%7D-am-dating-25m-i-dont-know-what-do/)

I {15f} am dating a 25m. I don't know what to do.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]God, I feel disgusting. I'm not sure if the tag I put was the right one but whatever.

So this started a few days ago. I know this is cringe and embarrassing but I decided to become a discord e-kitten because I was in need of some money. This one guy messaged me and said he was interested.
I was expecting to do some NSFW stuff, but nothing crazy. Mostly just half-naked/thigh pics or something... No actual nudity..
But this dude wanted actual... Pictures..
I'm no stranger to being in relationships with older guys/gals. The oldest I've dated was almost 30 while I was 11, and I've been doing rps and stuff since I was around 8.
But this is the first time I've ever sent pictures. He always wants me to moan for him and go on VC and stuff but I just can't. I feel so disgusted with myself and I'm terrified my parents are gonna find out. Before anyone tells me to tell a trusted adult, I'm not going to. I just can't bring myself to do it. I literally don't trust anyone right now.
I know this is wrong. He keeps telling me to make videos for him and I feel bad because he seems super lonely and attached to me. I told him I was worried about my parents finding out and he said he just wants me to be safe and happy.
He's really sweet it's just that I don't know if I can keep doing this. I've never revealed myself like this.. I've never gone this far. He keeps telling me he loves me and that I'm beautiful (even though I'm fat, but he doesn't say that) and that he wishes he could have kids with me. I don't know what to say
My whole plan on becoming an e-kitten was honestly for nothing too, because he hasn't paid me.
But I guess that's the least of my worries.
I guess what I'm saying is I'm scared that somebody will find out me and him have this relationship and get me in trouble.
I'm not trying to call this grooming or whateva cuz I brought this up on myself. I was asking for it. But idk Im getting uncomfortable and I don't know how to tell him no.
Any advice appreciated ty.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

Re: I {15f} am dating a 25m. I don't know what to do.

Hey,

I know you don't want to tell an adult, so while I will encourage you do so, I won't force you.

You're on Discord, and Discord has a block feature. That would honestly be the best thing to do here. "No" is a complete sentence but you don't have to offer him any explanation for blocking him, but if you do, you can simply say "I do not feel comfortable doing these activities, especially since I am a minor. I will be having no further contact with you." Then, just block him. Or, don't say anything to him at all and then block him. If he creates other accounts to continue to harass you, block those too or consider creating a new Discord account where you can start fresh.

It doesn't matter how lonely or how sweet he is. The fact of the matter is he is a predator. He is asking for literal child pornography. He will continue to try and manipulate you or act sweet to get you to do what he wants. He is not a safe person, but he will try to convince you otherwise. Telling you how he loves you and wants children with you is a manipulation tactic to get you to stay.

And, trying to be an e-kitten will continue to put you in this situation. You are underage and you don't want to be pressured into sending anything that would be considered child porn. People will try and push you farther than what you're willing to go, and there is a chance you won't even get paid for it like what is happening now. I'd wait until you're a consenting adult, and then re-evaluate whether or not it's something you want to continue doing. It's not safe for a minor to be putting NSFW content out there, and the people who WANT NSFW content from a minor are absolutely not people you want to be associating with.

There are other ways to get money legally. Even if it's doing chores for people in the neighborhood (with parental permission so they know where you are and who you are with), or seeking a job, at least you won't be at risk.

So, in sum, your best bet is to not engage with him anymore at all. Besides sending a final message to him if you really want to, do not acknowledge him anymore. The hope is that he will realize he's not going to get what he wants and will stop.

You don't deserve what happened to you though. I know it may feel like it's your fault, but it's really all on this guy who definitely knows better than to take advantage of a minor.

Re: I {15f} am dating a 25m. I don't know what to do.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I'm worried about blocking him. Like I've said, I've sent pictures to him and he's mentioned that he's saved a few. I'm scared that if I block him or tell him I'm not comfortable doing that he'll leak the photos.

I feel like such an idiot. I know you said it isn't my fault but it really is because I made the decision to send those pictures and I made the decision to talk to him. I was asking for it.

I don't know if I'm making any sense because I'm just tired right now. Thanks for your response and sorry if I seem stubborn. I'm not trying to, it's just there's so many what-ifs that I keep asking myself.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

Re: I {15f} am dating a 25m. I don't know what to do.

Hey,

I think Dez did a great job responding to your initial post and I don't have much to add there, so I'm going to focus on your response.

I can definitely understand why you might be concerned about blocking him, especially as he's stated that he has saved some of the photos you've sent. It's absolutely valid to have concerns about him leaking or distributing the photos, especially if they show your face. That being said, I'd encourage you to do some research on revenge porn laws in your state or country. In a nutshell, revenge porn is the distribution of an NSFW photo/video/audio without the consent of the individual in the photo or recording. Depending on the laws where you live, it's entirely possible that it would be a criminal offense for him to leak the photos in any capacity. Because you're a minor, the fact that he has NSFW photos of you is also a criminal offense, simply due to the fact that it counts as child pornography. If he does choose to leak the photos after you block him, there are actions that you can take.

I do want to re-iterate the fact that it isn't your fault. Maybe you didn't make the best choices, but he is still an adult and you are still a minor. At the end of the day, he should know better than to ask for NSFW photos of a minor and he should have been the one to put a stop to it immediately if he only found out you were a minor after some photos were sent. I truly hope this is a learning experience for you and that it helps you make better choices in the future but he is truly the one at fault here.