Addiction?!?

[BethGoesRawr]

'Sup guys, just need a little help on this "addiction" of mine.

I'm 13 years old and female if you don't already know; I have been watching the traps of saw movies on youtube and loved them, that then developed to going on sites with real murder videos like "three men and a hammer" (if you haven't seen it and are easily triggered I very strongly advise you NOT TO go and look it up on google)! I watched that movie and somehow enjoyed it, that again developed to searching more real life murder videos and pictures on the internet and reading books about it.

It has somehow become an addiction of mine. Also I have noticed after watching these I have been writing down names of people that have made me angry during the day and then writing what I would do to them <-- if you don't understand that feel free to ask me in a pm or anything.

I just want to know if it's okay, or just basically your opinion on this.

[Heartlines.]

This does sound like an addiction. And if I were to be completely honest, this is a very unhealthy addiction to have. Have you talked to your parents about this, or a school guidance counselor? If you're making lists of people that make you angry and watching murder videos and enjoying them.. then you must have a bunch of pent of anger. It's probably looking for a way to get released. But anger has to be released in a healthy way. I think you should talk to a counselor about what's going on your head. You don't really want to hurt people. I don't think you do anyways. And just for your safety and others, it'd be beneficial to work through your anger. Take good care of yourself. And try staying away from murder videos.

Much love.
-L.

[Invision]

Saying that this sort of thing is an addiction just gives it power over you; it's saying 'this is a difficult thing to overcome'.

It's a purely mental thing and it sounds like it's 'just' a bad habit (yeah, like that's a 'just' thing, right?).

If I were you, I'd 'just' (oh god, another one) try to replace the bad habit. Have you tried journaling? That might help you, and it sounds a little bit like what you're doing now, but ... significantly less hateful and violent.

Also: As far as addiction goes, normally it's something a person has to realize and then come to terms with. "I am an addict," are hard words to hear, and that's one of the reasons I'd say this thing doesn't necessarily qualify.

I'm condescending. Have fun with that.

Hating James is cool.

James