Parental Pet Peeve

[AliasPseudonym]

So this isn’t a big deal but it is very annoying and any suggestions on how to navigate this issue would be greatly appreciated.
So my parents will do this thing where one of them will give me a choice and then be angry when I say no. For example my mom would say “hey, do you want to go for a walk with me?” And I’ll say no, because I have a project I’m doing or something, and then she’d say something like “oh come on. It would be real nice to hear a yes sometimes. You always say no. It would be so refreshing.” Which is not true! I do say yes to my parents a lot, and when they ask me to do chores I always say yes. It feels like they don’t understand that they are giving me a choice, and whenever I bring it up they say “oh sorry” and continue to do it.

[Celyn]

It is annoying when people ask a question or give a choice only to find that they are unhappy with the answer you give!

The example you gave, with your mom asking if you wanted to for a walk with her, was that to run an errand or to spend time together? It seems like you are happy to help out with chores, and understandably it can be difficult to work on a project when your parents want you to do something else, but it may be that your mom just wanted to spend time with you. That said, it doesn't justify your mom saying that you always say no and it would be nice to hear a yes. She asked a question and you answered, it just seems that it wasn't the answer your mom wanted to hear.

Apart from doing chores, do you spend much quality time with your mom? It may be that she would like to spend time with you. However, it's understandable that you may just want to spend time doing projects or by yourself, either because you enjoy your time or because it's natural for you to want to spend less time with parents as you get older. Maybe you can find a way to compromise with your mom? So if she wants to go on a walk with you but you have a project to do, then you could set a time limit on the walk and decide whether to do this before or after the project? Or maybe instead of going on a walk, your mom could watch or help you with your project? This way you get to continue with your project and your mom gets to spend time with you. Alternatively, maybe you could ask create a schedule with your parents? Let them know the times that you will busy or want to do things by yourself, and let them know when you'll be free and they can ask if you want to do something then. You can also reassure them that since they are asking you a question, then you don't necessarily have to do what they asked (you have a choice) and if you choose not to do something then it's not personal either. Ideally, your parents should respect your choices but at the same time good communication can help to avoid your parents taking things personally or eating into your own time, when they want you to do something or when they want to do things with you.