TeenHelp - Having to return to a toxic household

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Having to return to a toxic household

I recently completed my freshman year of college and am going home for the summer. But, the household I will be going back to is a very toxic environment and I am very nervous for how I will react to going back.

My dad is very emotionally and verbally abusive to my mother and often takes his anger out on my brother and I. He also when I was at school began to drink heavily and that has made his angry spirts even worse. While at college, my family also had to move in with my grandmother and I will be walking into a completely new family dynamic. I am nervous of how I will fit into this new family dynamic and how I will be able to deal with my dad again. I've been away for so long and haven't had to deal with this for long enough that I don't know how I'll be able to deal with it again. But, being home is where I will make the most money over the summer so it is very important that I stay.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and is able to share any advice? I am worried that going home will take a large toll on my mental health and I am just very anxious to go back to a situation that I know is very much not ideal.

Re: Having to return to a toxic household

Hi Danni,

I'm sorry to hear about how your family makes you feel. Could you speak to a family member about how it makes you feel while being there? Maybe they are unaware of the environment they are creating. Alternatively, if you do not want to stay with your family, is there a place you can stay? If you need anything, please let me know. :hug:

Re: Having to return to a toxic household

Hey,

This sounds like a really tough situation to be going back into, and your anxiety around going home makes a lot of sense. I haven't been in this situation myself, so I hope you don't mind me replying.

Is there a way you can reach out to your brother or your mum or grandmother before you move back in to talk to them about your worries? As they've been there while you're away, perhaps they can help you ease back into the dynamic properly so that you feel less isolated when doing so.

It might also be handy to have a set of resources or a list of contact information for if things are so bad you're struggling to cope. Obviously nobody deserves to feel anxious going into their own home, and your fathers behaviour is a huge part of that. Here is a list of some hotlines which might be able to help if you need them. Remember that yours and your family's safety is important, and it's okay to ask for help if your father is being abusive in any way. That sort of behaviour is not okay.

I understand that being at home means you can save up a good amount of money, but the suggestion above is also a really good option. If you have any other family or a friend who you could stay with, that might help too. Perhaps you will need to spend a bit of money on rent to stay with them, but this might still be cheaper than living alone over the summer. Maybe this could be an option if you feel unhappy going back home and you have someone who could help you out.

I hope you manage to find a way through this. If you need anything or want a place to vent you can message me any time. Take care.