feeling lonely all the time....

[AshleyAdele]

hi my name is adele. I feel so lonely all the time. Heres where i am up until now.

1st grade: pathetic. I wanted a friend so bad i asked the teacher to give me a friend at recess. whenever she did the person assigned to play with me just left me alone.

2nd grade: I had a friend who moved by the next year. i met this guy named Braden. Who was my best friend. I swear he was the sweetest guy ever until my sister told him i liked him and he made me miserable and he left and he still hates and ignores me,

3rd: no friends.

4th: met tirzah my best friend. We are drifting apart and i dont want her to go away... shes my only true friend and i love her.

5th: tirzah was in a different class so i had a new friend named kate. we were great! until she ignored me for no reason. she hates me and i dont know why. I cry at least once a week because i still dont know what i did... and i want to know why i lost a friend. I hate her. so then i have no friends.

6th: i really wanted somebody. so there is this girl named hope. she treated me horribly and i knew it. I wanted a friend so bad that i did everything she told me and she insulted lied and hurt me constantly. i hate myself for that. so desperate. she talked behind my back and told my secrets. i met a girl named katie and she became a friend. Although she was equally bossy and controlled me still. i am a push over.

7th: met a girl and she convinced me to start drinking alcohol and cussing. I was quiet to everyone but her and katie. Katie got a boyfriend and dumped him. he asked me out. i wnt out with him. Katie hates me and wishes i was dead. Now i have done some awful things i regret. really regret. I cant say no to anyone because i dont want them to hate me. I'll do anything and i feel like nobody understands me. nobody wants to be my friend. I lie to everyone so nobody honestly and truly knows me. I am alone.

now im going in the eighth grade and i dont know what will happen and im scared. what do i do? Why cant i have any friends???? Whats wrong with me? I do everything they ask of me... what am i doing wrong? Please help! I just want someone!!

[PSY]

Talk.

Every day, sit next to someone new and talk.

Someone that isn't associated with your current friends. It can be someone in your classroom, someone at lunch, or someone in a club that you've taken interest in. But you have to talk. No one will want to be your friend if you don't talk to them. No one will want to be your friend if all you tell are lies when you DO talk. No one will want to be your friend if you do not love yourself, because then they will think you are incapable of loving them in return.

So before you even begin to seek out new friends, learn to do that. Learn to love yourself. Look at your life, or search your very soul, for just one thing that is good. Maybe you have pretty eyes. Maybe you are good in school or have some kind of talent. Maybe, because you never talk, you are good at listening. Whatever your good trait or talent may be, use that to slowly boost your overall self-esteem. Expand upon it. Make a list if you want to. List only the good things, and if you write anything bad about yourself, immediately erase it (or scribble it out to the point where you can no longer read it).

Don't say "don't", "can't", "won't", etc. Only use "do", "can", "will", etc. You DO have potential, you CAN make friends, and you WILL be happy someday, if only you keep on trying and never, ever give up. =)