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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
there is hope. <3
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big problem with a friend - July 5th 2011, 06:54 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Sooo here's the problem.. There is one guy who is a good mate but recently I found out that he is actually in love with me. So far,no problem.. I can deal with it.
He knows about my issues with my parents,SH and my low self confidence.
But lately he has been saying things which really hurt me. He doesn't think before he speaks. And that's the problem.
He knows that I get easily depressed,believing everything's my fault and that I always blame myself. Still he says things like ' I wish I could go far away so that I can't see you ' or 'We shouldn't have met after all'.
After that I was so hurt and said that I was sorry for being alive. After telling him that he realised what he did and apologized.
But he is always sorry and says it will never happen again. And it happens again and again..
Now the whole situation gets worse, he thinks that he can't do anything right. Some days ago I had a really bad day and talked to my best friend about it.He was pissed off because I didn't talk to him as well. He even blamed me for it.
I just don't know what to do. I talked so many times with him but it doesn't seem to get better.
Today he even ignored me.
Can someone help me ? :/
Thaanks for reading x



And the worst part is
before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
when I hit the bottom.


this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


I am not a robot!



Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.
Live.
Laugh.
Love. <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: big problem with a friend - July 6th 2011, 05:24 PM

hey

I've got a guy friend issue as well, and i can sort of connect
First of all, is this guy really in love with you? or does he just claim to be? Being in love doesn't make one say hurtful things. Maybe he just likes something very special about you and thinks that to be love. also, sometimes boys say hurtful things, just to check whether you like them back. if he told you that he shouldn't have met you at all, maybe he wants you to say something like 'no ! i don't know how i would live without you!' or something like that. I'm not sure :P Boys can get like that though.
And about that second part, i guess he was pissed with you for not talking about your bad day with him maybe because he imagined you were close enough to tell him about it too. I would suggest keeping a little distance from him for a few weeks. what i mean is, dont keep talking to him about these little things every single day. in fact, don't mention them at all. if he is ignoring you, then he's expecting you to follow him around like a puppy. puppies are cute, but i doubt you would be so cute if you did that. say hi, how was your day. bring up nice topics and talk about good things. it will help you a lot, as well as your relationship. and, i would recommend the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay. She is an amazing person who has written an amazing book

Lots of love <3
   
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Re: big problem with a friend - July 6th 2011, 07:58 PM

I would say something like, "Hey, things have been a little rough lately. I don't want our friendship to suffer, so I think it would be a good idea if we took a small break and spent time with other friends. Let's try talking again in a week or two and see if that helps." If he calms down and the situation improves after a short break, great! If not, then it may be time to sever ties with him.





   
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Re: big problem with a friend - July 6th 2011, 08:56 PM

Thank you
Honestly,I doubt that he is really in love with me. Like EnriqueFan said, those hurtful things.. he wouldn't say that if he was in love with me.
Today he apologized again, and it was a long apology.. We are talking now but whatever he says it makes me so annoyed. Now he wants to know the reason,I told him and now he's ignoring me again. I feel like I am doing just everything wrong !
I guess taking a small break is a perfect idea..



And the worst part is
before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
when I hit the bottom.


this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


I am not a robot!



Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.
Live.
Laugh.
Love. <3
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: big problem with a friend - July 9th 2011, 05:57 AM

He may being saying hurtful things because hes in love with you and, from what you've said in your post, you haven't acknowledged it. Try talking to him about his feelings towards you, and about the hurtful things he's said. Communication is key. Good luck <3


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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