Triggering (Substances): rest in peace, UndeadKilljoy.

[mindflower]

hey,

my name is tay, i was a very frequent teenhelp user back in 2013-16ish. i fell in love with the premise of the site, of meeting people who made me feel concrete and unafraid of my hardships, but more importantly and the point of this post, i met the love of my life on this website ten years ago today.

UndeadKilljoy, also known as thomas, was one of the many users i welcomed to the site as a volunteer in 2014. his username being a my chemical romance reference, we began chatting about music and culture and our teenage little lives, and spent seven years growing together despite a thousand miles distance. in 2020, moved in together and had a beautiful 3 year long partnership. it wasn’t always perfect but the love we shared was unreal.

thomas passed away september 14th of 2023 to the hand of his lifelong struggle drug addiction. he had been 10 months clean, had begun therapy for the first time ever, had decided to apply for trade school, and according to his mother was planning on proposing quite possibly today. ive never really lost someone like that before, and right on the brink of something amazing… i think that’s hurt the most. knowing we came so far from where we were behind our computer screens to those last few months and how beautiful our future seemed together is gruesomely unfair and heartbreaking. he was an incredible person, and i owe this website my life for introducing us. we met because we needed someone like eachother and like the rest of you, especially those of you who may still remember me. i just thought i would pop on today and say something. please keep his mother, his friends, the punk scenes of la and nashville, and i of course in your prayers. tell the people you live that you love them before it’s too late. reach out if you need help, especially for harm reduction resources. when i’m in better standings i plan to make a donation to TeenHelp in his honor, which was always our plan after marriage.

thank you so much for reading.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you will be okay soon.

[Ambedo.]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Tay. Keeping you, Thomas' friends and family, and the punk scenes he impacted in my thoughts. May he rest in peace.

[Ennui.]

I am so sorry to hear this and you and his family and friends will be in my thoughts.

[This_is_the_greatest_plan]

Mindflower, Im so sorry to hear of your loss. Im new here so never knew your fiance, and Im not the praying type but I wish the best for you and his family and friends. It sounds like he was a very special person, especially to you.

[Dawn.]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. If you ever need anything, please feel free to reach out - my inbox is always open.

[Rob]

Thank you for coming back to share your story with us, which is both very touching and hearfelt, but also quite frankly amazing.

I'm very sorry for your loss but I'm glad that TeenHelp has had such a profound impact on the course of your life and I hope that you had true happiness in the limited time you had together.

Your story is a reminder of the fleeting connections we make everyday online and where they can lead us to if we let them.

Please take the time you need to grieve properly, reach out here and elsewhere for support if you need it and I hope in time you are able to move on.

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