I just woke up from a TeenHelp nightmare. I dreamed that Rob was taking staff members who applied for internal positions and feeding them to the lions. Literally. He had a backyard filled with lions, which I accidentally discovered when I noticed staff members who were going into the "application booth" suspiciously never returned to the staff member party that was being thrown at Rob's house. As I scrambled to get away from the lions (I somehow had magical jumping abilities and was barely able to stay out of their reach), I thought, "There's got to be a better way to get meat for your lions, Rob!" I woke up, and after realizing it was just a dream, I started laughing.

A selection of calls made by Rotherham residents to the 101 and 999 numbers during the past 12 months, as logged by the callhandler: Caller is disliked by his neighbour because he used to jump up and down on his trampoline in a dress. Caller states that her daughter, 11 years, is 'attacking her'. Questioned further, it turns out her daughter is being a naughty girl and won't go to bed. Confused caller says she does not seem to be able to get films with her Sky TV card. Advised she would need to speak to Sky. There is a couple with a big brown dog that is running around. It has not been aggressive towards anyone but caller is concerned as to the size of the dog. He has spoken to the couple about the dog but they have not done anything. Caller says some children who live round the corner keep coming to her house to play with her daughter. She says that one of them has pooed in her daughter's playhouse. This child is three years old but caller is irate because they should know better. Caller reporting he has two females, possibly from housing, knocking on his door and he doesn't want to answer it so is asking for police to attend. He states that he is on water tablets so doesn't want to talk to them. Caller advising that he has found some driving documents that he thought he had previously lost and was wanting to let us know. Caller wanting to report some youths being a nuisance. They have been coming on the street Christmas carolling but they can't sing and it seems like they are just trying to get some money. Caller very distressed. The neighbours next door are making love very loudly with the windows open. This has been going on for some time. Caller reporting four or five youths aged five to 11 on the street and they have thrown a stone at her window and smashed it. On inspection of said window it transpires there is no actual damage, just a mud mark which has wiped off. Caller was in Newcastle for the weekend and woke up yesterday in his hotel to find his trousers were missing. Caller reporting her daughter, 12 years, has been to the woods with four friends. They have all crossed a stream, on a log. The log has slipped from under her and she has fallen into the stream. This has ruined her new trainers. She asked them for help to get out of the stream and they stood there and laughed. Caller states that her daughter has then had to walk home with wet feet.