Religion effecting relationship

Lovegrove · **Religion effecting relationship -** February 24th 2009, 04:08 PM

Heres an interesting one for you.

I am currently in the best relationship i have ever experienced, things couldn't be better.

I am a 17 y/o male and my partner is a 18 y/o female.

We have been together close to 2 months.

I met her back in October 08, where i saw her in college and thought how much i would love to get to know her..

My best friend then started dating her (my now girlfriend)'s best friend, so she asked if i would like her number? i texted her and we hit it off.... met up and we got very close over the coming months until i finally plucked up the courage to ask her out

We are like soulmates and i don't think i could ever live without her, i know she feels the same too.

Now the problem is this...

Her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses, they have brought her up as one, so she is not supposed to be friends (let alone date!) non believers.

So our relationship is currently a secret from her family

, this does get me down alot.

She no longer considers herself a believer, trys to avoid family worships, is a VERY sexually active partner (ie sins carried out...) yadah yadah yadahhhh....

But if her family found this out she would be more or less disowned, probably kicked out from home.

She always says she won't be in the religion etc for much longer, so things won't be as complicated.... i don't believe it though, its a big change to make.

I want this relationship to work as much as she does and this is the only thing complicating it.

What would you suggest?

I hate only being able to see her when she is able to lie to her mum and say she is going somewhere... but infact seeing me.

I wish i could know her family etc etc

Help?

LoveLifeMeaningOver · **Re: Religion effecting relationship -** February 24th 2009, 04:32 PM

Firstly, keeping relationships a secret tend to always cause major blow outs at some point later on.
Secondly, is this something that you won't tolerate or are you willing to wait for her?
Thirdly, is this something that she won't tolerate or is she willing to change for you?
Fourth, is lying to her family okay?

Just some questions you need to ask yourself.

I personally hate lying to my family and would hate having to do it over and over and over and over...You get what I'm saying.

Lovegrove · **Re: Religion effecting relationship -** February 24th 2009, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver

Secondly, is this something that you won't tolerate or are you willing to wait for her?

I'm deffo willing to wait, i can't live without her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver

Thirdly, is this something that she won't tolerate or is she willing to change for you?

I know she hates having to lie to them etc, and i get the impression she wants to change for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver

Fourth, is lying to her family okay?

Deffo not, but - at present its the only way we can be happy.

Just some questions you need to ask yourself.

AiyaKai · **Re: Religion effecting relationship -** February 25th 2009, 12:17 PM

I'm in a similar relationship.
But my bf would never renounce his faith.
Eventually if you see this relationship going beyond gf and bf you will have to tell her parents and introduce yourself. If you are a boy she'd be willing to give up her faith for, accept this, and love her and support her, if things don't go well with her parents. She apparently has done much for you already, so don't try asking for more unless you are willing to deal with it.
Talk to her about it if you want to meet her parents and come up with a solution together.