Going full time

[Ennui.]

I told my boss that I am interested in going full time in March. My bipolar has taken a turn for the worse since then and I don't know if I can handle it. I've been getting stressed and overwhelmed even working part-time and have had a hard time motivating myself to go to work. I liked work in the beginning but I'm growing to dread it. And that's working part-time. I'm having a hard time staying stable right now to the point where I had to go up to IOP.

What are your opinions on how to either handle full time, or if you don't think I should go full time due to my mental health, how to tell my boss that I'm no longer interested?

Basically, what do y'all think I should do?

[MsNobleEleanor]

I am sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling like yourself for awhile and have been struggling.

What has been helpful is having a routine. It can be difficult to start a routine if you don't already have one. One of the easiest ways is to start is choosing if you would like to make a routine for your sleep or during the day.

For some examples: When I started work I got into a routine of better sleep hygiene. I would start to make a bedtime and then from there have a routine of going to bed. For me it meant no watching TV 30 minutes before going to bed and in those 30 minutes I would brush my teeth/shower, put PJs on, and get into bed.

I then began to set an alarm at a certain time to wake up even when I had nothing to get up for, I still got up. Made something to drink, took my dog outside.

Working with a routine and work is a balance: If you already know when you are expected to go in, like time of day you can plan a rough routine around this. Have a routine for animals always, this will help you. Cooking and cleaning can also be helpful. Having down time to do nothing at all is also relaxing because we need this for ourselves.

A routine really helped me. It helped me not have a scattered brain and it allowed me to be more focused on what I need to do and want, it's meaningful. It's hard at the beginning. I realized if something came between that routine and myself it unbalanced myself, I learned that it's okay and I adapted.

What's important is when you are working, have a routine around work and what fits around it; when you go to sleep and when you wake up; those things before bed and after you wake up are important. I found that having a dog I would make a routine based off my work for him and myself.

I know that was a lot about routines. It really helped me when I was working and when I wasn't working.

I hope that this was helpful in some ways, feel free to let me know if you have questions or need tips.

[Silvan]

Dez,
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. This is a tough decision indeed. Have you considered using a decision tree? I don't know if you've ever tried it.


This is a very simple example, of course, but illustrates the point. Sometimes writing something down/putting it on a scheme on paper can help clarify some things and organise every for & against in your head.

If you decide against going full-time, that will be for a valid reason and your boss should take into account the health and wellbeing (both physical and mental) of their employees. It might be a difficult conversation, but an important one and I advise you to prioritise your mental health over work. Or maybe your boss will turn out understanding and supportive!

If you decide for going full time, I wish you the best of luck!
I hope you come to a decision soon and it will turn out to be a good one!
All the best in the New Year,
xx S

[Everglow.]

I'm sorry that your mental health has been a problem for you lately. I think it's good that you've recognised this though, and this gives you the choice to do what is best for you right now, whether that's making changes to make working full time more doable or putting that off for now. There's no right or wrong, and I think the idea of a decision tree is wonderful. I've never heard of one of those but I'm definitely going to be using that in the future!

When I was in my last job I wasn't doing very well mentally and had increased my hours. I wasn't quite full time, but I was on double my original hours and very anxious all the time. My manager asked me if I wanted to go full time, and I was totally honest with him. If you feel able to do the same I would recommend it. For me, it felt like I didn't have to hide behind excuses and it was liberating to say up front 'I don't think I can take that right now'. I think if you're unsure, it could be a good idea to let your manager know how you're doing and what your worries are. Perhaps it is something you can postpone until you're in a better place, and if not, maybe it is something yuo can trial for a few weeks/months before it becomes permanent. That way, you're not tied to anything and you can always change your mind.

If you do go full time, try to make sure you have a good divide between work and home. Make sure you see your family and friends so that it doesn't feel like work has become your life, and if you can, try to fit your extra hours around your life rather than fitting life around your work. I know that's notalways possible, but if it is, it could really help you to feel less overwhelmed. I also think having a routine is a great idea. Structure helps things feel a bit less chaotic I think.

I hope whichever route you take works out! If you want to talk about it at all you can message me any time.

Hey Dez,

Take this with a grain of salt because I'm currently on leave from work because of symptoms.

When I started full time work I found that having a routine actually helped me cope with a lot of my flares. Routine helps me manage my anxiety (prior to covid) it's possible that might be the same for you too.

Another thing is, could you test out full time and give it like 3 months and if it doesn't work go back to part time?

If you decide to stay part time would you be able to be honest with your boss and tell her you're currently struggling mentally and don't feel it'd be best. Oddly enough, more employers are sympathetic to this due to covid and seem to better understand that people's mental health is crap right now.

At the end of the day, you have to focus on your well being. If you feel that staying part time would be best, do that.

[Ennui.]

I don't know if I could "test out" being full time or not but I was thinking of doing that and then seeing about FMLA if needed.

[Rika]

I actually support the making a bedtime. I did that all the time in high school and junior high! It helped me out a lot, especially when I got a job my junior year.