Self Injury

[Mel]

Article featured in Avatar - Volume 3, Issue 9 (March 2010).

Self Injury
by Emily (bringontherain)

Self injury is intentionally hurting oneself to the point of causing tissue damage or leaving marks for more than a few minutes. About 1% of the population, three million people in the United States alone, have intentionally harmed themselves at some point in their lives. This intentional harm can range anywhere from scratching to limb amputation. The most common forms, especially in teens and young adults, are the moderate types such as cutting, burning, and hair pulling.

Anyone can be a self harmer. It is not dependent on gender, race, sex, age or any other factor. It tends to be more common among girls between the ages of 16 and 25, but can still be found everywhere. Some things that self injurers have in common are a low self-esteem, being unable to express or cope with difficult emotions, and internalizing feelings.

One of the most difficult things about self harm is the general lack of understanding received. For people with the ability to cope in healthy ways, it can be really hard to grasp why someone would intentionally inflict pain on themselves. While self injury is harmful and is in no way good, it does serve a purpose to those who rely on it. Often times inflicting pain is the only way for a self harmer to deal with the situation that they are in. It can be an escape from emotional emptiness, a physical outlet for what is going on inside, a way to ground oneself, punishment, or for many other reasons. It does something a bit different for each person, but overall it is an unhealthy coping mechanism that develops when we don’t learn how to deal with things in a healthy way. An important thing to remember is that while self harm is dangerous and unhealthy, it is not suicidal behavior. Accidents happen, but more often than not, self injury is a way to deal with pain in an attempt to prevent suicidal thoughts and actions. It’s still dangerous and unhealthy, but the idea that all self harmers are suicidal is a misconception.

It can be really scary when you find out a friend is hurting his or herself, especially when you know little about it. The best thing you can do for a friend who self abuses is to be supportive and try to understand what it is they are going through. Educate yourself on self harm and talk to them about it. Don’t push or judge or give ultimatums to try and get someone to stop - it’s ineffective and quitting has to be the self harmer's own choice. Let them know you are there and that when they’re ready, help is available. Know that it is never your responsibility to make someone better though. Ultimately it is their choice and you can’t make it for them. All you can be is supportive.

After self harm has become a large part of your life and the way you deal with emotions, it can be really hard to overcome. Anyone who’s gone through it knows of how addictive it can be. Hopefully there will come a time when you are ready and truly want to stop self harming though - a time when you recognize it’s unhealthy and are ready to find better ways to cope. When you reach this point, the best thing you can do for yourself is to seek help and support form others. Talk with parents, a teacher, school counselors, a religious leader or any trusted adult. Get involved in individual or group therapy where you have the support of others and of someone trained to help you work through your self harm. And, don’t give up. Recovering from self harm can be a long and difficult road. If you slip up, it’s okay. Learn from it and keep trying.

Every year, March 1st is a day to help make the general public more aware of the epidemic that is self harm. It’s found everywhere and among anyone, regardless of race, gender, social class, or other differences, and yet there is such little understanding of it. Self Harm Awareness Day is here to help increase education of what self harm is and how to help those struggling with it. You can hand out flyers and put up posters for self harm awareness, or you can do something as simple as wearing orange to support those recovering. This day is what you choose to make of it. Maybe it will be that day where you finally decide to tell someone about your own self harm or someone opens up to you.