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Page 1 of 3 1 23
Showing results 1 to 200 of 428
Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Tigereyes
Forum: Why Me? December 3rd 2020, 11:12 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

EDITED No one's going to stop me. It's best for everyone if I leave anyway. A few people will be hurt, but they'll be able to survive without me now. I don't want to go, but I just can't handle the...
Forum: Why Me? December 3rd 2020, 07:52 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I need to die before this weekend.
Forum: Why Me? December 3rd 2020, 07:30 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Don't know that I can wait to kill myself. My life ends in the very near future. I can't do it.
Forum: Why Me? December 1st 2020, 10:53 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Finally made it to the last month
Forum: Why Me? November 30th 2020, 11:26 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Have been severely suicidal for half a year and almost no one said happy birthday to me. Remind me again why I should force myself to stay alive?
Forum: Why Me? November 30th 2020, 10:41 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It still keeps getting fucking worse..... I think it's time for a final countdown 'til I can go.
Forum: Why Me? November 25th 2020, 09:45 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I hope tomorrow never comes. I'm almost at the point where 6 months ago, I said that if life was still that bad, I am allowed to finally kill myself. I've had a solid plan for months. Years? Over 2...
Forum: Why Me? November 24th 2020, 03:47 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Extra bad ptsd day=extra suicidal
Forum: Why Me? November 21st 2020, 12:13 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

If I get covid, at least I'll have a good enough reason to kill myself
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 09:02 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I may not survive tonight
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 08:33 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Suicide is the only way to make it stop. Everyone needs me to make it stop so I stop hurting them by being in more pain than they can handle. Well what about me?
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 07:42 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It would be best for everyone if I was dead.
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 06:41 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I WISH I WAS FUCKING DEAD. I can feel the flashbacks coming back harder. So yeah, I don't know if I'll survive this.
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 10:22 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't function, but I have to for some reason
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 01:41 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

No, I won't feel better tomorrow just because another night passes. Why do people assume that? I won't fucking feel better til shit gets better.
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2020, 01:35 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I hope tomorrow never comes.
Forum: Why Me? November 19th 2020, 11:35 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

What's today's trauma going to be? See this is why I need to kill myself as soon as possible.
Forum: Why Me? November 19th 2020, 11:32 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Oh yeah and a friend relapsed and overdosed the other day.
Forum: Why Me? November 19th 2020, 11:28 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Family member is dying. Or dead by now... well still gotta work full time. With all the other fucking shit.
Forum: Why Me? November 18th 2020, 12:09 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Why bother asking for help when people just "lol just be happy and do self care!" At my problems that are way too severe for that shit to make a dent in. I know cause I've been fucking trying that...
Forum: Why Me? November 16th 2020, 12:41 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It's honestly just a matter of time before I end it. Who's going to stop me? No one.
Forum: Why Me? November 15th 2020, 01:32 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm beyond help. No one can handle me.
Forum: Why Me? November 14th 2020, 03:46 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't go on. There's no one who can or will help. And with the flashbacks and dissociation so bad and so frequent, I can't promise I won't kill myself sooner than planned.
Forum: Why Me? November 11th 2020, 05:52 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm really not okay. At all.
Forum: Why Me? November 11th 2020, 11:26 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

New extremely severe PTSD does not mix with chronic illness, past PTSD, grief, and full time work. Oh well, not a damn thing I can do about any of it.
Forum: Why Me? November 5th 2020, 01:01 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'M FUCKING LEAVING THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE. THERE'S NO SUPPORT FOR ME, NO LOVE, NOTHING. IT'S BEST FOR EVERYONE IF I WERE DEAD. IT KEEPS GETTING FUCKING WORSE EVERY FUCKING DAY AND NO ONE GIVES A...
Forum: Why Me? November 5th 2020, 11:57 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Who would even want to stay alive with it being this bad?
Forum: Why Me? November 4th 2020, 07:36 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

If I get covid, I WILL kill myself. Better than surviving to be more disabled or dying a slow painful death alone in a hospital. My parents are cool with that I guess.
Forum: Why Me? November 4th 2020, 06:54 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

After this election ends, I don't need to stay alive. I wish I was dead. Most people wish I was dead.
Forum: Why Me? November 4th 2020, 03:01 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm living like I'm about to die because I actually might be.
Forum: Why Me? November 3rd 2020, 09:49 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I am absolutely terrified about the election. And I should be.
Forum: Why Me? November 2nd 2020, 11:10 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I was always the fuck-up kid
Forum: Why Me? October 30th 2020, 12:48 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

JUST FUCKING END MY STUPID FUCKING LIFE. FUCK I DON'T EVEN CARE IF I DIE A SLOW PAINFUL COVID DEATH ANYMORE. JUST END MY LIFE HOWEVER. I DON'T CARE.
Forum: Why Me? October 29th 2020, 11:09 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wonder if I can pay someone to kill me and make it look like an accident.
Forum: Why Me? October 28th 2020, 11:28 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Dear nobody,
Being alive sucks. I need to change that. Sorry I can't do anything right or good enough. It's best for everyone if I go. We all know it.
Forum: Why Me? October 27th 2020, 01:07 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Goodbye to my human rights and to those of everyone close to me. We don't matter apparently. But I'm supposed to stay alive?
Forum: Why Me? October 26th 2020, 11:21 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'll never escape this debt or abuse. So why bother trying anymore. More debt, more abuse, more trauma and ptsd. that's what I get for trying to escape. Well fuck that. I quit. I'm done with this...
Forum: Why Me? October 23rd 2020, 11:33 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I was dead. I will never be fully accepted for who I am. Everyone wants me dead.
Forum: Why Me? October 23rd 2020, 10:33 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My life is hell and always will be, this country is hell and getting worse, everyone wants to take away my rights and wants me dead. We let the poor suffer and die on the streets, judging and...
Forum: Why Me? October 22nd 2020, 12:03 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Every day I wake up, my desire to end my life becomes stronger.
Forum: Why Me? October 21st 2020, 09:57 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Nearly all of entire family and extended family is about to reject me for being "gay" because I'm aro ace and want to be roommates again with my partner/best friend. So glad I can turn to queer safe...
Forum: Why Me? October 18th 2020, 05:05 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I am actually at the end of my rope. Was just told by the one person I trust to push myself through the pain until it kills me or I kill myself. Because it's not bad enough to die. Right before that,...
Forum: Why Me? October 5th 2020, 12:20 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Please help.. please someone... anyone. Just listen. Just.. anything. Is there anyone out there who cares?

I hope tomorrow never comes.
Forum: Why Me? October 4th 2020, 11:51 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Too much pain to tolerate much food.. :/ again. Last time it was physical. Couldn't eat much for weeks. But physical wounds often heal, and those did eventually. Emotional wounds sometimes never...
Forum: Why Me? October 4th 2020, 09:36 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm in too much pain to function. For days. If I stop taking care of myself, maybe I'll get lucky and pass on.
Forum: Why Me? October 3rd 2020, 01:19 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

After I vote against Trump, I'm probably enacting my plan. Goodbye, I'm sorry. It is best for everyone if I go. There's no hope, no help, no relief. Only pain and suffering.
Forum: Why Me? October 2nd 2020, 12:22 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My parents say the love me... but they don't act like it. They only love me conditionally. The love the idea they have of me. Not who I really am....
Forum: Why Me? October 1st 2020, 08:05 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I don't have enough reasons to stay alive much longer. Why should I?
Forum: Why Me? September 29th 2020, 10:36 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

According to almost everyone, I'm supposed to just suffer. Well fuck that. I deserve better. And if the only way to give myself better is through death's release, then I'll just have to follow the...
Forum: Why Me? September 29th 2020, 09:30 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Fuck everything. If I sleep at my apartment, I have to leave all doors and windows open because it's so damn hot (outside too, but slightly less overnight) and maintanence won't fix ac. It's summer...
Forum: Why Me? September 28th 2020, 04:05 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I was dead. Most people don't care if I die. Want evidence? No one will wear a mask or social distance to protect me--someone they KNOW is immunocompromised. I'd just rather end my life...
Forum: Why Me? September 24th 2020, 03:50 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Life is shit. It won't get better. I don't care if it will. The suffering of now and the past however many years is too much to hold on for a "maybe one day it'll get better." When? When I'm...
Forum: Why Me? September 11th 2020, 08:29 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I really wish I was dead. I wish I had killed myself 5 years ago.
Forum: Why Me? August 31st 2020, 02:33 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I really wish I was dead. There is no relief of any kind for me in this world.
Forum: Why Me? August 30th 2020, 11:52 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Pain level 9-10 is just going to be ignored for weeks
Forum: Why Me? August 27th 2020, 02:46 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm terrified.
Forum: Why Me? August 26th 2020, 07:13 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

WHY IS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE THAN THE PREVIOUS DAY????? I can't fucking take any more of this. The more of this shit that goes so fucking wrong, the less reason there is to...
Forum: Why Me? August 25th 2020, 10:00 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

So much pain.. fatigue level 9, physical pain level 7-8, emotional pain level 10, other symptoms level 5. Sometimes I really hate having a body. There is no relief.

Just gotta keep pushing...
Forum: Why Me? August 24th 2020, 02:54 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

JUST FUCKING KILL ME!!!!!!!!!
Forum: Why Me? August 24th 2020, 10:33 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Please just end this pain

More and more and more symptoms with no treatment and life crises. Just fucking kill me already! I can't fucking push through all this bullshit anymore. If I had lower...
Forum: Why Me? August 23rd 2020, 12:27 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Pain getting worse. Eating hurts too much. I'm apparently supposed to just fucking suffer with no treatment. And search for a job full time during this. It's more important than ever to get a job...
Forum: Why Me? August 22nd 2020, 08:18 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

This hurts so bad. I can't eat. It hurts too much. I can't care for myself and don't have an able person to care for me. Can't even get appointment til next week. Pain constantly getting worse.
Forum: Why Me? August 22nd 2020, 10:45 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

So glad that I will likely get zero pain treatment from an urgent surgery that I can't afford. Just great. So I will want to die even more.

I can't eat. I can't get an appointment. Will I just die...
Forum: Why Me? August 21st 2020, 02:25 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't fucking take this anymore.
Forum: Why Me? August 21st 2020, 09:20 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My teeth hurt
Forum: Why Me? August 19th 2020, 11:39 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Today looks like a good day to end it for good.
Forum: Why Me? August 19th 2020, 09:57 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Well it turns out I did fail the phone interview. No surprise. I'll continue my multi-day breakdown over this same interview. I know I'll never do better. I can't sell myself as the best. Because I'm...
Forum: Why Me? August 17th 2020, 03:32 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Phone anxiety makes me sound like such a fucking idiot during phone interviews AND ruins my chances of getting a job offer. I want to give up.

This is proof it will never get better.

Dear Void,...
Forum: Why Me? August 16th 2020, 03:00 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I just want everything to end.

I should've just gone back to work to die.

I have the wrong personality for job hunting. I am not the best candidate. Just another applicant. But not energetic...
Forum: Why Me? August 12th 2020, 12:49 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I am too sick to function. At all. My body won't. Sitting is exhausting.

I don't want to hold on anymore. Why should I?
I can't do it. I don't want to do it. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm not good...
Forum: Why Me? August 11th 2020, 08:43 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My dream job is anything that doesn't go against my morals and pay at least about $40k (so I can pay student loans too)... Such high goals apparently. I regret college so much.
Forum: Why Me? August 11th 2020, 09:19 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I need a miracle..
Forum: Why Me? August 10th 2020, 01:39 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Is it normal to randomly fall/collapse on the floor all the time due to fatigue and muscle weakness? Or is it depression?

My brain feels like it's literally splitting open. Oh well, keep working.
Forum: Why Me? August 10th 2020, 12:58 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can barely function. Better stop being disabled and get a damn job.
Forum: Why Me? August 9th 2020, 01:08 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Just found out I owe $2500 more on Sept 2nd for some fucked up reason, even though I'm NOT supposed to because of the CARES act shit. Like it's being added to my Principal somehow. It shouldn't! I...
Forum: Why Me? August 9th 2020, 11:01 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Trump's new student loan plan sounds okay at first. Then I looked into it further. If it passes, I cannot take a low pay job to get by for a while because I will have to pay back an even higher...
Forum: Why Me? August 7th 2020, 09:23 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Still in bed. Can already tell today is no better.

For days, it has felt like my brain is going to explode. It's so painful that today, I hope it does just explode. Then I could get relief from...
Forum: Why Me? August 6th 2020, 01:40 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm too fucking sick to even stay alive! I can't function. I don't have money to pay someone to help. I'm not sick enough for disability. I can't care for my basic needs. I can't even job search...
Forum: Why Me? August 6th 2020, 09:45 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Somehow I doubt I'm good enough for the lowest of low jobs in my field. Even though I'm more than qualified. I'm worthless and hopeless. I don't believe in myself. I'm not positive and outgoing. I'm...
Forum: Why Me? August 4th 2020, 03:44 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

When all your socks have holes on the bottoms and you still can't afford new socks and won't be able to for the forseeable future (if there is a future).

So very chronically ill with insufficient...
Forum: Why Me? August 1st 2020, 11:58 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I had killed myself last August.

I need to die.
Forum: Why Me? August 1st 2020, 10:08 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Well I stayed alive and they denied me, So I guess it IS time to die. There is no hope left.
Forum: Why Me? July 31st 2020, 10:27 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Well it's the end of July.. will I make it to August?

Annnddd yeah, it's going to be a very bad night.
Forum: Why Me? July 31st 2020, 09:38 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Yesterday my fatigue was ONLY moderate-severe! Levels 6-8 on a scale of 1-10 (because that's the only way it means something to medical professionals :unsure: ). But today, I'm at my usual 7-9 and...
Forum: Why Me? July 30th 2020, 10:25 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Slept 4.5 hours.. at least my fatigue isn't worse because it's always this bad regardless of how long I sleep. But need to push myself to job search incase I do something crazy and decide to stay...
Forum: Why Me? July 28th 2020, 04:35 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

The odds of me surviving July are not in my favor. It's time to go.
Forum: Why Me? July 28th 2020, 03:41 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Extremely not okay. But nothing can be done besides hope I get lucky and can get money
Forum: Why Me? July 28th 2020, 12:42 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Shit's only getting worse. End of the month is approaching. Time is running out. If the govenment isn't going to help or still won't fucking tell us if they will or won't, I'm going to finalize my...
Forum: Why Me? July 27th 2020, 05:22 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

JUST HURRY UP AND DECIDE THE FUCKING UNEMPLOYMENT PLEASE. If it's gonna be hell, I need to know ASAP. If it's gonna be fine, it'd be nice to know that too!
Forum: Why Me? July 26th 2020, 12:21 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Weird thing is I'm actually a morning person. Just very chronically ill, so it doesn't look that way. Fatigue level starts at 7-9 and gets worse throughout the day. This life isn't worth living. No...
Forum: Why Me? July 24th 2020, 12:00 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I just want to know how bad it's going to be. Should I be cutting back on essentials like basic food? Should I ignore all health problems too? Should I pull my total $1000 out of my forced retirement...
Forum: Why Me? July 22nd 2020, 12:19 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Why is everything so heavy?

I might have enrolled in health insurance, but I'm still not actually sure... so many problems.
Forum: Why Me? July 21st 2020, 11:27 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Why even get out of bed when there's no reason to live. The purpose of each day is to try to slow how quickly and horribly my life falls apart. But it already pretty much has. I can't do shit to...
Forum: Why Me? July 20th 2020, 10:18 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'll know by the end of the month if I'm going to keep trying to stay alive or not.
Forum: Why Me? July 20th 2020, 01:05 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Getting dressed, eating a quick breakfast, and brushing my hair and teeth is so physically exhausting. I need 3 hours to do just this every morning. Time to work for my parents, search for a job full...
Forum: Why Me? July 19th 2020, 12:16 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Just another bad day already. I don't think I'll live to ever have another good day.
Forum: Why Me? July 17th 2020, 06:36 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Fatigue still so bad. still no answers. Less time to figure it out . No one left to ask.

Life isn't for me.
Forum: Why Me? July 16th 2020, 12:03 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Woke up at 5am with an anxiety attack and couldn't get back to sleep. Fatigue level 9 and I've barely started my day. Need to somehow be productive 'cause I've been too stressed to get stuff done,...
Forum: Why Me? July 15th 2020, 01:08 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'd rather die. Suicide is my fallback.
Forum: Why Me? July 14th 2020, 04:27 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

FUCK THE UNIVERSITY I WORKED AT.
Student and employee lives are NOT disposible...
Forum: Why Me? July 14th 2020, 01:54 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My past is trauma, the present is unbearable, and I have no hope at a decent future. No support, no help, no money to buy help or support. No money to survive more than a few months.

Okay...
Forum: Why Me? July 13th 2020, 12:01 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I feel like crap. Still. It's been years.

Everyday is a bad day.

It's not worth staying alive for this suffering. Only reason I'm waiting to execute my plan is because I don't want to hurt my...
Forum: Why Me? July 12th 2020, 11:23 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm so hopeless.

I don't want to live like this anymore.
Forum: Why Me? July 11th 2020, 09:49 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I just realized that getting a job will actually be impossible. All interviews would be phone. I suck at phone interviews because of panic attacks. I can't.
Forum: Why Me? July 11th 2020, 01:53 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm not sure what I'm waiting for.

It's so hopeless. Why don't I just go? Why wait to see if it gets better when it never does and never will?
Forum: Why Me? July 8th 2020, 11:03 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Guess what, today's no better. What a shock. It's almost like regardless of what I do or don't do, my life keeps falling apart.

I feel like my heart is broken and so sick to my stomach. For a week...
Forum: Why Me? July 7th 2020, 07:22 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Can I please just hurry up and die already

Well damn I fucked up even worse

No one can handle my problems. Then how the fuck am I supposed to, especially without support????

Was told to go...
Forum: Why Me? July 6th 2020, 12:37 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Unfortunately, today is the "tomorrow" I have dreaded. This will not end well. Time to finalize my plan to escape forever.

I'm not going to make it.

I'm sorry..

It's not possible for this to...
Forum: Why Me? July 5th 2020, 10:55 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I hope tomorrow never comes.
Forum: Why Me? July 4th 2020, 12:38 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I don't want to die. I want the pain to stop. But it never will. So goodbye is the only way. I'm replaceable anyway.

I think I've lost the will to live this time. I'm calmly miserable and...
Forum: Why Me? July 4th 2020, 01:11 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Unbearable pain
Forum: Why Me? July 3rd 2020, 05:05 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't survive this. I will kill myself if this fails.

Yeah no, this already is too much. I might not wait to see how it turns out. I don't want to know.
Forum: Why Me? July 1st 2020, 01:11 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Why shoudn't I end it?

I can't anymore. This may be goodbye. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough.
Forum: Why Me? July 1st 2020, 12:30 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Why does everything have to keep getting worse?? I can't take it anymore. I can't fucking take it. I can't do it anymore. It's not worth staying alive for this. I can't. The pain is just too much and...
Forum: Why Me? June 29th 2020, 11:08 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Life is suffering. Nothing more.

Why is there so much bullshit about suicide being a permanent solution to temporary problems? Because some damn problems ARE fucking permanent! My chronic illness...
Forum: Why Me? June 28th 2020, 04:47 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I cant take it anymore. Too sick adn tired literrally. Cant afford to pay anyone to help.

Too exhausted to care for myself. Too bad there's no one to help.

If only rest would help.

I'm too...
Forum: Why Me? June 28th 2020, 02:37 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Body already crashing for day. I've been awake less than 3 hours today. So much to do. Tomorrow won't be better.
Forum: Why Me? June 27th 2020, 09:02 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My body quit on me again.
Forum: Why Me? June 26th 2020, 06:07 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

ANNND just drove my partner to the ER.

They were denied both treatment for the severe pain and further testing. So we wasted time, money, and risked exposure to COVID for nothing.
Forum: Why Me? June 26th 2020, 04:14 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It won't get better. I can't go on. I don't want to go on. I just have to make sure I don't fail.

It may be a permenant solution, but these are actually permenant problems.
Forum: Why Me? June 26th 2020, 01:38 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My fucking $4000/month meds got lost too. Cool.
Forum: Why Me? June 25th 2020, 04:24 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Suicide is my only option. I'm making plans. It's too late.
Forum: Why Me? June 25th 2020, 12:12 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

That was too much.
Forum: Why Me? June 23rd 2020, 10:07 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It's done. No going back.
Forum: Why Me? June 23rd 2020, 11:43 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Less than 10 hours until my decision is irreverible...
Forum: Why Me? June 22nd 2020, 05:35 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Yep it's over. Fuck my life.
Forum: Why Me? June 22nd 2020, 03:54 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

If I'm denied this too, I'm 99% sure I'm going to kill myself.
Forum: Why Me? June 22nd 2020, 11:43 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Time's up.
Forum: Why Me? June 21st 2020, 12:24 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Tomorrow, all hell breaks loose to ruin my life completely, forever. Maybe instead of planning for that, it's time to plan how to end it and make sure I don't fail.
Forum: Why Me? June 21st 2020, 01:02 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I really might have to kill myself this time. My life is over.
Forum: Why Me? June 20th 2020, 01:52 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Dear life,
What the actual fuck.
Forum: Why Me? June 19th 2020, 09:06 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't go on anymore, and I don't want to. Oh and guarenteed that the next few years of my life--if I don't die within a couple weeks--will only get even fucking worse. Yes, I should have killed...
Forum: Why Me? June 19th 2020, 11:03 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't sleep or eat. Which I guess is good because I need to cut back on buying essential groceries anyway.
Forum: Why Me? June 18th 2020, 09:48 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Only reason I might not kill myself is that I don't have the same access to deadly means that I once did. Shit gets worse. I'm done.
Forum: Why Me? June 18th 2020, 12:01 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My entire life prior to quarentine doesn't feel real. Whatever new normal this is has taken over as an altered state, and everything else belongs to a stranger I can never quite reach.
Forum: Why Me? June 16th 2020, 02:47 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Been doing informal case study on myself to figure out what's making this fatigue so bad. I'm about to formally gather and reference the peer-reviewed articles I've read and compare to my database of...
Forum: Why Me? June 15th 2020, 12:16 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm tired of being beyond exhausted every second of every day for the past 14 years, knowing that it'll never improve and could get even worse.
Forum: Why Me? June 14th 2020, 01:27 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

So much makes me so hopeless.
Forum: Why Me? June 12th 2020, 07:41 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

"Just make friends." Yeah sure, I'll just do that somehow in isolation. The past 6 whole fucking years have proved that I can't do it normally. I'm sure I can pull it off now.
Forum: Why Me? June 12th 2020, 06:07 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

If life keeps fucking me over and won't let me get support, I am going to kill myself. I can't take it anymore. And there's no reason to.
Forum: Why Me? June 12th 2020, 05:42 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

"Talk to someone else about this." Like who?
Forum: Why Me? June 10th 2020, 07:16 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I had killed myself 5 years ago, before everything got so complicated.
Forum: Why Me? June 10th 2020, 02:47 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm not good at being sober, I don't want to be sober, being sober has always sucked. They said it would get easier. Sobriety is just pain and suffering, PTSD, depression, anxiety, chronic illness,...
Forum: Why Me? June 6th 2020, 02:49 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm sorry...
Forum: Why Me? June 5th 2020, 04:21 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't go on like this much longer. I'm hanging by a thread. I know it's bad because this current situation makes ALL my past trauma, including being abused as a child, seem laughable in comparison....
Forum: Why Me? June 1st 2020, 02:29 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

There is no future for me.
Forum: Why Me? May 31st 2020, 03:39 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

There's no hope at all. Only death.
Forum: Why Me? May 31st 2020, 11:41 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Week-long panic attack is the new normal. Even sleep gives me no relief
Forum: Why Me? May 29th 2020, 12:39 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It is very possible that I'm about to die or ruin my entire future if I stay home. I'm too young to be deciding between probable death and certain increasing debt. I don't want to die. I don't want...
Forum: Why Me? May 28th 2020, 11:52 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

There is a good chance I will be dead in 2-3 weeks.
Forum: Why Me? May 21st 2020, 10:04 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I post here because I have almost no friends, and my only friends are busy
Forum: Why Me? May 17th 2020, 01:38 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Trying to live each day like I will be dead in a week or two because at any point during this pandemic, it could reasonably be true. Makes me hate my disability even more for stealing my life from me.
Forum: Why Me? May 10th 2020, 12:28 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

This pandemic is completing the break in this broken home.
Forum: Why Me? May 9th 2020, 05:02 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I can't go on living this way anymore.
Forum: Why Me? May 8th 2020, 07:15 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Each walk outside might be my last. Ever. I try to enjoy every second of it to the fullest. No one cares if I die. I don't want to, but if I have to go back to work onsite in 2 days, I will get...
Forum: Why Me? May 3rd 2020, 05:37 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Got yelled at too. I'm so done with today.
Forum: Why Me? May 3rd 2020, 02:14 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

If I'm going to die, I'd rather just get it over with than wait for the inevitable
Forum: Why Me? May 2nd 2020, 04:42 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Still sick of being so sick with no hope of feeling better
Forum: Why Me? April 30th 2020, 05:02 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

So tired, but severe painsomnia. No, tomorrow won't be better as I had hoped.
Forum: Why Me? April 23rd 2020, 12:42 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My parents are still trying to manipulate me into working for them right now. I can't even get chores and hobbies done in the 6 hours/day I am moderately functional lately.

They also keep trying...
Forum: Why Me? April 22nd 2020, 01:54 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

According to my parents, a month of rest means I can't experience symptoms of my chronic illness--that I have been experiencing for the past 15 years of my life.
Forum: Why Me? April 19th 2020, 09:15 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Everyone told me to panic more as I fought to stay rational. Now I'm fixated on "the fact" that I am going to die from COVID-19 in a few weeks or less. I can't un-convince myself, and if I'm going to...
Forum: Why Me? April 18th 2020, 05:24 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Why did I stay alive for this again?
Forum: Why Me? April 16th 2020, 02:10 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I could feel better. Unfortunately that's impossible forever.
Forum: Why Me? April 14th 2020, 10:58 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I could get rid of my body.
Forum: Why Me? April 9th 2020, 09:19 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My body really fucking sucks.
Forum: Why Me? March 30th 2020, 01:47 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Anything positive pisses me off because now more than ever, it feels like complete bullshit.
Forum: Why Me? March 30th 2020, 12:38 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I keep hearing about grocery store employees testing positive for COVID-19. No surprise at all. But now I'm more afraid to go to the grocery store than before... and I will need to go more frequently...
Forum: Why Me? March 21st 2020, 12:11 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Once again clinging to the darkest media I can find. Sometimes that's the only way I feel understood and connected. Sometimes this is my only light...
Forum: Why Me? March 20th 2020, 10:32 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It's confirmed that I will get paid less (not enough) for who knows how long.

Do I have higher chance of dying from it? Do I even care?
Forum: Why Me? March 17th 2020, 02:15 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Fuck. Life.

Everything I try to do to take care of myself as things keep getting worse (crazy how that's even still possible at this point..) just fucking blows up in my face and pushes me down...
Forum: Why Me? March 12th 2020, 10:22 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Every cancellation because of the coronavirus is more financially terrifying.
Forum: Why Me? March 11th 2020, 10:12 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My only concern about the coronavirus is not being allowed to work, so no pay, so I can't pay bills. Oh and I'm immunocompromised and unconcerned. Stop spreading panic by being stupid.
Forum: Why Me? March 7th 2020, 08:19 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My body hates me oww
Forum: Why Me? March 4th 2020, 10:16 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My debt has me considering suicide
Forum: Why Me? March 2nd 2020, 10:20 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Took a sick day for once in six months because my flare up got so bad that I couldn't push through it. Had worked 36 hr in 4 days, and not only did I lose overtime pay rate for what should've been a...
Forum: Why Me? March 2nd 2020, 01:29 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I miss my life, and I have no hope of ever getting it back.
Forum: Why Me? February 28th 2020, 09:48 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Yes just fucking charge me over double the cost at this closer pharmacy because I'm too disabled to drive out there to get my fucking prescription so I can feel very slightly less disabled. Just add...
Forum: Why Me? February 20th 2020, 09:19 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

The light at the end of the tunnel can't be a train if there is no light at all.
Forum: Why Me? February 1st 2020, 08:23 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Got hit with an unexpected $700 medical bill for labs. Fuck that. I can't pay it. Or my student loans. I regret wasting money on college. It wasn't worth it.
Forum: Why Me? January 29th 2020, 12:42 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I want to enjoy life, but I can't do that while in so much debt, with so little pay, with so many hours to work, with so much fatigue, with feeling so sick. So why bother pushing myself day after day...
Forum: Why Me? December 16th 2019, 08:06 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I didn't expect to live long enough to deal with these problems. Guess what, maybe I won't.
Forum: Why Me? December 6th 2019, 08:27 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

The light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be a train. Oh well, I've been ready to go for years now anyway.
Forum: Why Me? December 5th 2019, 10:03 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It doesn't get better, and neither do I.
Forum: Why Me? November 28th 2019, 01:15 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Tomorrow is my birthday. All I want is for everything to miraculously turn out okay or to not wake up at all tomorrow.

Instead, I'll probably get yelled at then end up crying alone in my room. Not...
Forum: Why Me? November 20th 2019, 08:44 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

...i'm too sick to live alone..
Do maid services exist for disabled people?
Too bad i cant afford that if so.
Forum: Why Me? November 12th 2019, 10:35 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I'm terrified. If it ends up badly, I'm fucked.
Forum: Why Me? November 12th 2019, 10:01 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

And again, why am I still alive? Why did I keep fighting so long for things to turn out like this?
Forum: Why Me? November 5th 2019, 08:37 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Something feels wrong. I don't know what, just that it does. Perhap it's all the emotions I've been burying over the past couple years trying to resurface once again. But if I give in to my mind,...
Forum: Why Me? September 18th 2019, 11:18 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow. Let alone the rest of this week. And next week. But I was desperate enough, so it's my own damn fault.
Forum: Why Me? September 13th 2019, 01:33 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

The truth is, I'm still struggling. I've never felt so lost before. I don't know what to do, where to go, who I am, or who I want to be. I'm just wandering in the dark, with no one to guide me. I...
Forum: Why Me? September 5th 2019, 01:27 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

It was so much worse than I thought.
Forum: Why Me? September 3rd 2019, 08:35 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I desperately need therapy. Wish that was possible right now.
Forum: Why Me? August 6th 2019, 01:01 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I've been trying to write about the trauma from the past however many years to heal from it but my brain just tries to bury it deeper every time I do. So how am I supposed to face it? How am I...
Forum: Why Me? August 2nd 2019, 01:16 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I couldn't go to the huge networking event. The anxiety was too much. Depression too. I know I'm a disappointment. This time it is my fault. But fuck it all anyway. Not like I'll get a job...
Forum: Why Me? July 31st 2019, 09:38 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

My severe anxiety has mostly gone away because I've given up hope, so I no longer care about the outcomes.
Forum: Why Me? July 29th 2019, 10:12 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

I promised myself I'd hold on until the concert next week.

Now I'm not sure I can even make it that much longer. I'm sorry...
Forum: Why Me? July 28th 2019, 06:20 PM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

In danger of my parents finding out I'm queer.. I can't leave the house. I want to die even more.
Forum: Why Me? July 26th 2019, 11:42 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Too burnt out to care that I have another second interview. Never seem to get past the second interview anyway, so why bother getting my hopes up just to be let down again. I'm beyond hopeless. I...
Forum: Why Me? July 25th 2019, 11:04 AM
Replies: 10,627
Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.
Views: 334,291
Posted By Tigereyes
Re: Screaming thread.

Would you rather me die than take a few days off?
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