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Showing results 1 to 9 of 9
Search took 0.00 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: hocus pocus

Forum: Depression and Suicide

November 3rd 2017, 11:56 PM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

This has been published.

Forum: Depression and Suicide

October 11th 2017, 09:15 PM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

You're welcome! Does anyone else have any more suggestions?

Forum: Depression and Suicide

October 10th 2017, 01:50 AM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

Since you said it looks good I am going to remove the original orange pieces and replace them with the rewrites.

And that's okay. Sometimes editing can be overwhelming!

Depression around my...

Forum: Depression and Suicide

October 8th 2017, 12:51 PM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

I have incorporated the suggestions. As for the orange ones, I rewrote some per Chess' suggestions but I did leave the original sentence in there so you can see the difference (the original and...

Forum: Depression and Suicide

October 7th 2017, 11:29 AM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, would you like me to incorporate some of the suggestions for you? If you approve of them, I can do them and then make some suggestions for the blue and orange parts...

Forum: Depression and Suicide

October 6th 2017, 09:03 PM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

Hey Essa, how are you feeling about these suggestions?

Forum: Depression and Suicide

September 21st 2017, 12:28 PM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

Oh, you could have left some of the "usually" mentions if you wanted! I just wanted to make sure we changed it up so the word wasn't used too often.

For the end, you could reiterate what you said...

Forum: Depression and Suicide

September 21st 2017, 02:52 AM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

Depression around my Birthday
By: Essa (MerESSAmaid)

[Cassie: I noticed you used the word "usually" a lot. I put those mentions in orange. To change it up, could you use some synonyms? If...

Forum: Depression and Suicide

September 19th 2017, 12:56 PM

Replies: 20

Depression around my birthday.

Views: 5,417

Posted By hocus pocus

Re: Depression around my birthday.

Thanks for posting this, Essa! I will suggest some edits after you look over Jenna's. I know all of the colors can be confusing so let us know if you have any questions.

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

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